Omegle

[Yarnchu]

WHY HAS THIS NOT APPEARED HERE YET!!!!

Thanks to my good friends at Trsrockin, I have discovered a new love of the internet. Omegle lets you talk to random strangers. For example:

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: BATMAN
Stranger: Batgirl
You: Spidergirl
Stranger: Spiderboobs
You: D:
Stranger: M or F?
You: M
Stranger: I'm a Female
Stranger: Were do you come from?
You: the middle of nowhere
Stranger: You are a stopid girl
Stranger: xd
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

http://omegle.com/

So start chatting. NOW!

 

[Rwr4539]

I know this site. I love it so much.

Stranger: asl?
You: 11/f/London
Stranger: 11?
Stranger: fuck
You: yes
You: you think that's amazing?
You: you should see the size of my penis
Stranger: HOOOOOOOOOLLLYY SHIT SHIT SHIT
Stranger: com essa idade nao tens ai nada oh zibs
You: I know baby
Stranger: percebeste o que escrevi filho de 30 putas?
You: shut up
You: I'm a girl
You: I'm always right
You have disconnected.

 

[BynineB]

You: ...
You: ?
Stranger: ...........
You: Hi?
Stranger: hi
You: Weirdest thing ever..
Stranger: what is
You: This.
You: So.
You: I herd u liek mudkipz?
Stranger: wate....
Stranger: are you a guy ?
You: Um.. yes..
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I lol'd.

 

[Zeph]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Are you a human?
Stranger: Yes shure.
Stranger: What else? a dog? or a alien?
Stranger: talk about being stupid
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

It seems some people can't take jokes =Þ

EDIT: XD

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hello
You: Hello
Stranger: go on
Stranger: ask me somthing
You: What shall I ask you?
Stranger: anything ur heart disires
You: Will you marry me?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

[BynineB]

Stranger: cam sex
You: Wait hold on what?
Stranger: cam sex
You: What's cam sex?
Stranger: are you m or f
You: M. *watches you DC*
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Apparently, Omegle hates males.

 

[hopeandjoy]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: zieg
You: .... hi?
Stranger: from?
You: America
Stranger: girl?
You: yeah
Stranger: I from Ukraine
You: Say.... Have you heard of this Palin chick?
You: She's awesome.
You: I swear to god that she's the best thing eva.
You: Speaking of the man above, have you been saved?
Stranger: whot?
You: If so I can hool you up with some lovely panphlets...
You: *hook
Stranger: you nigger?)
You: Nope. White trash and proud.
You: Why, just the other day my cousions got married.
You: It was a lovly wedding.
You: *lovely
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Sometimes I love myself.

 

[StyliBoy]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: Hello there
Stranger: you from?
You: Why do you wanna know?
You: Are you a stalker?
Stranger: ok
Stranger: whats your name?
You: Why do you wanna know?
You: Are you a stalker?
Stranger: haha
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I thought it was funny. They were all asking me who I was...(Stalkers)

EDIT: More funnies!

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: asl?
You: What about it?
Stranger: whats yours?
You: What's my what?
You: I don't speak American Sign Language
You: LOL
Stranger: age/sex/location
Stranger: ?
You: EWWWWWW
You: You said a bad word!!!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

[Rwr4539]

You: how do you change a flat tyre?
You: I'm at bumfuck nowhere and I need to know
Stranger: lol seriously?
You: seriously
You: I need to get to my destination really soon
Stranger: look in the boot for a jack. it's probably a scissor jack type with a crank
Stranger: along with the spare
You: fuck I don't have them
You: eh doesn't matter
You: I have a lighter and some petrol handy
You: I'll torch the car and the body inside
You: thanks for the help
You: bye
You have disconnected.

 

[Keltena]

I adore this site. It's so easy to freak people out~

 

[BynineB]

Stranger: i
Stranger: hi
You: Hello.
Stranger: how are u
You: I am no speak good English.
You: You teach?
Stranger: yep why not
Stranger: where are from
You: Thank you please.
You: I from Mexico.
Stranger: youwelcome
Stranger: wowww
You: I need to speak grammar.
Stranger: dream cty
You: ...I am sorry if bad grammar or bad location is bad.
You: :'(
Stranger: no problem
Stranger: asl
You: What that word mean?
Stranger: are you girl or boy
You: Girl.. fifteen.
You: You speak me good English, yes?
Stranger: sory honey ı m 29 m
Stranger: ı m very older than you
You: Do not matter. I learn fine from old.
Stranger: ok than
Stranger: why not
You: Thank sir you.
Stranger: so do you have msn
You: What MSN mean? Your english confusing.
Stranger: dont cole me sir plz
You: I cole you strang, then?
Stranger: ok
<truncated>

Ohhh, troll troll be troll troll yessssss~

 

[Ninjabait]

Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hi.

Stranger: hi there

You: What's the best way to dispose of a body?

Stranger: cut into small pieces, cook the pieces, feed to dog

You: I don't have a dog.

You: Or a cat.

Stranger: any dog, neighbors, stray, whatever

You: I live in the Gobi Desert, I don't have neighbours.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I love freaking people out by making them think I'm a psycho killer. =3

 

[Jetx]

This sounds a lot better than it is, I always get bored before long when I go on it.
And whenever I have a good conversation with somebody, I always make up an excuse that I "have to go" because I have this strange tendency to try and end conversations before they start to go stale, even though I'll never speak to these people again and so have no reason to care what they think of me.

The other problem is that most of the time it's just hurr durr i am from 4chan here is my stupid meme, or the occasional man looking for cybersex and actually expecting that he will find a girl who wants it...though I have had some fun with such people. :P

 

[Kai Lucifer]

Warning: This convo features racism as a joke and if you don't like it then don't read it. I managed to pose as Hitler and have a convo with someone for more than 5 seconds. Also, in case you don't get the Mr. Dennis thing, there was a maths teacher at our school about a year ago with that name who was fired for groping a young girl "by accident".

Spoiler: Read above

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: I AM HITLER
You: HEIL ME
Stranger: When he woke up, the dinosaur was still there.
Stranger: i love hitler that man is a god
You: YEAH
Stranger: if your hitler then i grovle at your feet
You: I'M THE GODDAMN HITLER
You: THEY THOUGHT I WAS DEAD
Stranger: mien furer
You: BUT THEY WERE WRONG
Stranger: barstards with there propergander
Stranger: your must be rather old though
You: YEAH
You: I HAD TO BE REINCARNATED INTO THE BODY OF A 50 YEAR OLD PERV
You: CALLED MR. DENNIS
Stranger: do you still have that epic moustache
You: YEAH
You: AND A FUCKING COMBOVER
Stranger: WIIIIIIIIN
Stranger: how about the brown clothes
You: NAH, THEY BURNED ALL OF THE NAZI UNIFORMS
Stranger: damn
You: THEY WERE A DEAD GIVEAWAY
Stranger: i spose it is rather obvious
You: I'M AN UNDERCOVER MATHS TEACHER NOW
You: KILLING THE POLISH
You: BECAUSE THERE ARE NO JEWS IN ENGLAND
Stranger: awsome fucking pols are everywhere
You: AH GODDAMNIT THOSE FUCKING POLS.
You: BURN THEM ALL
You: AND THEN MAKE NAZI UNIFORMS WITH THEIR REMAINS
You: HEIL MYSELF
Stranger: where abouts in england does this new hitler live i want to groval at his feet
Stranger: Please say Norfolk
You: IN A COUNTY CALLED WILTSHIRE
Stranger: damn i am not sure where that is but i shall find out and that shall be my new home near mien fhurer
You: YEAH
You: GROVEL AT MY FASCIST FEET
You: HOW OLD ARE YOU
You: AND WHAT RELIGION DO YOU FOLLOW
Stranger: 19 AND FUCKING ATHIEST
You: YEAH
You: FUCK RELIGION
Stranger: CAPS MAKE EVERYTHING ANGRY YEAHH!!!
Stranger: INDEED
You: EVERYONE KNOWS THAT THE WORLD WAS MADE WHEN THE KAISER SHAT A BRICK
Stranger: WIIIIIIIIIIIIN WILTSHIRE IS NEAR WESTON SUPERMERE I AM GOING TO UNI THERE IN SEPTEMBER CAUSE GAP YEAR WAS SHITE
Stranger: AND I WILL FEEL BETTER KNOWING I AM NEAR THE NEW MASTER OF THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You: YEAH
You: HEIL MYSELF
Stranger: INDEED I HAIL YOU
Stranger: HAIL HITLER HAIL HITLER HAIL HITLER HAIL HITLER
Stranger: BRING BACK THE NAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You: ITS SPELT HEIL
You: AND NAZI
You: WITH AN E AND A Z
You: FOR FUCKS SAKE
Stranger: AH WELL I DONT CARE ITS A ENGLISH HITLER NOW WE NEED A NEW WAY TO SHOUT YOUR NAME
You: HEIL MR DENNIS
Stranger: HEIL DENNIS
You: YEAH
You: I HAVE TO GO AND KILL SOME POLS NOW
Stranger: GOOD HUNTING
You: WHAT'S YOUR EMAIL SO WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS LATER?
Stranger: NAH I DONT GIVE OUT EMAIL EVEN TO MR DENNIS SORRY BUT IF BY SOME MAGIC I TALK TO YOU AGAIN ON HERE JUST PUT HEIL HITLER AND ILL PUT HEIL DENNIS
You: OKAY
You: BY THE WAY
You: I'm not really a reincarnation of hitler, I'm a 14 year old teen with a good education and I now think that you're a horrible racist bastard.
You: XD
You: t('.'t)
Stranger: i am not a suporter of hitler either just like a joke
You: Good.
You: May we meet again.
Stranger: possibly lol have a good evening
You: LONG LIVE THE MASTER RACE

Don't hate me. XD

 

[Ninjabait]

Kai, that is win.

I now present to you, the most interesting conversation in the world!

Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: djkfjkdhga

You: rt54

Stranger: huiasyb lvuliu sygl

Stranger: uag\lyiuremyc \

You: ;lfmsdkljvgdf

Stranger: u yluriescyu4iuler uix

Stranger: \xgyelsuid

You: djlfkjdkfiodwj

You: jfkjgodjfd

Stranger: ib yhuibypiuyepwf

You: fkjdfja

Stranger: ih uiyhl\uiyfdclovein yoiyiu;;

You: fkdkjfiafk'

Stranger: yugb uyoiuynoiljk

Stranger: stfuoi ybuioby

You: Oh no you didn't!

You: kjvdjkjgkljeikfgesllfjk

You: djlsdfka

You: kfjdjfakdnfa'

You: lalfa

You: nb,.bkjbgmjvcvhjcxcvbnb m,kllxcf,.cddrkhtivoviu587rieheyu75ty4eh

You: lfdjf

You: ....

You: adkhf

Stranger: iuyhnctxioeru;moqweiauj;dihuyfiueoirudm;osaiuncitylrxuyfyebuytgtdhgytghuytrfdhuiy7rtdfghuiy7rtesdxfcvghjkuiytrdfxvcbjkuiy76tr5dfcgvhbjkiuyu6tresdxcvghbjnkiouy76tr5esfdxcgvbhjnkiou7y6utr5fdgcvjhkuiytrfdcgvhjuiytfrgcvbjn

Stranger: ....

Stranger: asdf

You: dkfjkegfuingakj

Stranger: Lol.

You: dkfjkdahgk

Also:

You: สวัสดีทุกคน!

Stranger: hey

You: ฉันเป็นไก่ตัวผู้!

Stranger: type ENGLISH

LOL, I fail.

 

[Minkow]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hullo
You: ...
Stranger: hey!
You: oh hi
You: thought you'd never come
You: ....
You: .......
You: ..........
Stranger: ...
Stranger: ..
Stranger: .
Stranger: .
Stranger: .
Stranger: .
Stranger: .
Stranger: ?
You: you know you can just press enter instead of taking forever
You: since you do
Stranger: yeah im not stupid,)
You: okay.
You: no offence
You: how old are you again?
Stranger: haha;)
Stranger: 18
Stranger: And you?
You: younger and apperantly a lot faster
You: eleven
Stranger: hahah oh!
You: oh?
Stranger: owned by a eleven year old
Stranger: where are you from then?
You: the great nyc
Stranger: sweeet!
You: and is there a such thing as the age racism? like ageism? i'd like to say it
You: and call you ageist
You: and whatnot
You: and i know you want to disconnect now
You: too bad
You: oh crap you're still here
Stranger: hahha yeah you can say so if you want;)
You: amazing
You: you didn't disconnect
Stranger: i warning you that my english is very bad so!
You: no wonder
Stranger: You know, im from sweden and i am not talking english very muchh;)
You: i'm not swedish
You: how are the swedish fish there?
Stranger: haha no i know! You are from NYC
Stranger: Swedish fish?
Stranger: aaah the world greates fish!
You: no i mean
You: oh forget it
You have disconnected.

EDIT: oh god.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: do u like breasts
You have disconnected.

 

[BynineB]

Swedish fish. OMNOMNOM.

 

[Not Meowth]

Warning: This convo features racism as a joke and if you don't like it then don't read it. I managed to pose as Hitler and have a convo with someone for more than 5 seconds. Also, in case you don't get the Mr. Dennis thing, there was a maths teacher at our school about a year ago with that name who was fired for groping a young girl "by accident".

Don't hate me. XD

I call Joe Stalin.

May as well try some.

Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: asl?
You: Asl? Wht an amazing word
You: How does one pronounce that?
Stranger: age/sex/location ..
You: I'm going to say it "assle". It's more fun that way.
You: You know, so it rhymes with "hassle".
You: Or maybe "castle"!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Crap even for a first try =)

You: HAMSTERS RULE
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Rude >=(

Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl
You: 800, none, Jupiter.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Does nobody like gibberish anymore ;.;

 

[Slartibartfast]

Turns out I'm a troll on places like this. >:-D

Stranger: hi

Stranger: asl

Stranger: ?

You: 103, none, Antarctica

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Win!

 

[Ninjabait]

Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: /b/?

You: Jesus was an athiest.

You: Where is you're god now?

Stranger: Moot.

Stranger: Thats where.

Stranger: I am 12, what is this?

You: You are undergoing an experiment by the FBI.

You: We are going to make you stronger, better, faster, and smarter.

Stranger: O rly?

You: You will be used to take out dangerous terrorists.

Stranger: O lawdy

You: Do you accept this mission?

You: If not, we will kill you.

You: If yes, the terrorists will kill you.

You: You cannot think about it.

You: You must answer now.

Stranger: erm

Stranger: Ok

You: You just got blown up by Saddam Housein.

You: Congrats.

Stranger: The game/

You: You just lost.

Stranger: FUUUUUUU

You: Game Freaking Over.

You: Do Not Pass Go.

You: Do not use the bathroom pass, it is a bomb.

Stranger: Are you /b/ or what?

You: The 200 dollars is also a bomb.

You: Do not collect it.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Also, this is hilarious:

Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: heyyyy

You: .....

You: We have been waiting for you.

You: You are the chosen one.

You: You must stop the darkness.

You: And save the world.

You: Hitler and Satan have melded.

You: And you must stop them.

Stranger: oh

Stranger: whats first doctorr

Stranger: thats what i figured

Stranger: YESS

Stranger: ive been waiting for this mission

You: If you do not stop them all will be lost, and everyone will hate you.

You: They are spreading a deadly virus through MySpace.

Stranger: im so excited

Stranger: when does my gear come in the mail

You: You do not get gear.

You: You must find it on your own.

Stranger: im so pumpedd

Stranger: ill make my own

Stranger: im up to it

You: You must discover the MySpace anti virus and cure the world.

Stranger: out of the cardboard box i live in

Stranger: I PROMISE

You: The MySpace anti virus ingredients are:

Stranger: I WONT LET YOU DOWN

Stranger: OH I WILL

You: One Cup of Sugar.

You: Two Eggs.

You: One cup of flour.

You: Four hundred gallons of water.

You: And a Michael Jackson CD.

Stranger: im all out of sugar

Stranger: oh umm

Stranger: got it

You: The MySpace virus is spreading.

Stranger: iknow

You: It has already infected FaceBOok.

Stranger: its like the new swine flu

You: And Youtube.

You: And Google.

You: You must stop it soon, or all will be lost.

Stranger: holy shit

Stranger: i didnt realize it was that bad

Stranger: i better get to the supermarket soon

You: The Virus has spread to the Supermarket, you must use Wal*Mart.

You: You must hurry before it infects the most awesome thing in the universe.

You: Scrubs.

Stranger: OH

Stranger: SHIT

Stranger: WHAT ABOUT WHOLE FOODS?

You: They have mutated into zombies.

You: Now dramatic music is playing in the background.

You: It is time.

Stranger: oo okk

You: Stop the Virus!

Stranger: im so excited

You: The zombies have just pulled out lightsabers, you are so fucked right now.

Stranger: I AM FUCKEDDD

You: YOU MUST CHARGE YOU'RE LAZER.

Stranger: OH SHITT

You: NOW, SHOOP DA WHOOP!

Stranger: I DIDNT GET IT YET

Stranger: OMGG

You: You have one more minute.

You: Then you must shoop da whoop.

Stranger: I TOLD THEM TO SHIP IT TO MY HOUSE

You: We will fire the makeshift space laser.

You: Just cure the virus!

Stranger: AHHHHHH

You: It has infected American Idol and the Jonas Brothers.

You: All will be lost.

You: CURE IT!

You: But don't spare the Jonas Brothers.

You: They are working for Satler.

Stranger: good i hate those fuckigng teeenage wannnabes.

Stranger: !!

You: It has infected Friends! Cure it or all will be lost!

Stranger: kk

Stranger: OH NO NOT FRIENDS

You: Congradulations!

You: You have cured the virus, brought peace to the universe, and killed the Jonas Brothers!

You: Well?

You: Do you want a cookie or something?

You: You're shift ended.

You: Go home.

You: Or you'll be late for work tommorow.

You: Again.

You: You'll be fighting Godzilla, so get lots of rest.

Stranger: what

Stranger: no worries!

Stranger: OH I WILL!

You: See you tommorow then, Agent Stranger.

You have disconnected.

It's long, but it's pure win.

 

[Jack_the_White]

First Few i didnt paste here but one of them asked if i was a horny 25 year old man
Regular Talk

Stranger: HI
You: Hello!
Stranger: asl?
You: 15 M OHIO
Stranger: 17,f,italy
You: Wow italy
Stranger: well yea
You: u vacationing there or do u live there and ur just trying out ur engrish
Stranger: im living there -.-
Stranger: in rome
You: cool
You: see tha colleseum much?
Stranger: almost every day :D its nothing special to me
Stranger: okay its beautiful but well, you see it so often
You: well i live in a place where anything big is cool
Stranger: haha :D im vittoria btw
You: Jake
Stranger: jake black :D like in twilight
You: dont know much about dat, not really into those kinda movies
Stranger: i dont like twilight
You: ah...
Stranger: but everyone is like "oh jacob black oh"
Stranger: hes così splendidi
You: all i hear about is edward, and girls saying how hot he is, is jake black the wolf guy?
Stranger: yea
You: ok, then i know who he is, Twilight just swept the MTV movie awards
Stranger: they where nominated to the best kiss! lol
You: they won it too...
Stranger: really?
Stranger: omg -.-
You: they won best movie, best male actor, best female actor, best kiss and a few others too
Stranger: i hate twilight
Stranger: i like more harry potter :D
You: yea, cant wait til next won, the book was the first book i ever got the day it came out
Stranger: i loved the book and deadly hallows
You: yea, that was real big here, there was supposly a hacker who found out the ending
Stranger: it was so good
Stranger: but i have to go sleeping
Stranger: bye jake :)
You: o, its probably midnight there
You: later!
Stranger: yea

This guy was a racist dick so i decided to fuck with him

Stranger: NAZI POWER , REMEMBER HANDSCHAR DIVISION WAFFEN SS , Fuck jews , black and all the inferior races
You: I like titties!!!!!
Stranger: NAZI POWER , REMEMBER HANDSCHAR DIVISION WAFFEN SS , Fuck jews , black and all the inferior races
Stranger: NAZI POWER , REMEMBER HANDSCHAR DIVISION WAFFEN SS , Fuck jews , black and all the inferior races
You: Are u a sexy lady!!!!!
Stranger: im a male stupid
Stranger: fuck you
You: fuck u
Stranger: black shit

Then I was being a perverted teenager...

Stranger: hey der
You: I like titties!!!!
Stranger: so do i
You: O ur not a girl...
Stranger: you like buttrape
Stranger: yes i am
You: U are a girl!?!?!?!?!
Stranger: yes
You: Lol sweet
Stranger: lets cyber
Stranger: i taek out mi wizard hat
You: ?
Stranger: nd i taek out tha scrabble bord
You: ??
Stranger: imma wizrd you up babi

This guy left early :-(

Stranger: hai
You: hay
Stranger: how are you stranger
You: i am good

Found a horny teenaged girl

Stranger: HORNY?
You: ...sure?
Stranger: Do you wanna talk dirty?
You: Is this a guy or girl?
Stranger: GIRL!
You: ...for reals?
Stranger: Yeah im girl.
You: uhhhhhhh bye

Then i finished up

Stranger: Hi
You: just checking, but ur not gonna try to cyber sex with me are you?
Stranger: are you man?
You: uhhhh yea
Stranger: Omg i read it wrong xd
Stranger: Ofc not :D
You: thank god, keep getting the horny teenaged girls
Stranger: Hahahah :D
You: or the fucked up 40 year old men...
Stranger: :D it happens a lot with me :D
You: asl?
Stranger: 18,f, Estonia :d
Stranger: U?
You: 15, m, ohio
You: dats far way lolz
Stranger: Haha yea :D
You: u actually live there
Stranger: Where? :D In Estonia? yes.
You: ok, iwas wondering if u were living there or just vacationing there
You: i gtg...sry
Stranger: I am living here yes :d