Pet Peeves?

[Butterfree]

but I feel obligated both as a gay man and as a moral person to tell people who use such speech that it just isn't alright to talk like that.

That's great! But there is a distinction between telling people that it isn't all right and exploding and calling them bigoted jerks.

Of course it matters if he meant to be offensive. The whole "intent doesn't matter!" view annoys the hell out of me. Intent matters because someone who does not mean to be offensive is not a bad or bigoted person and you can just politely explain to them why they shouldn't do whatever they did, whereas someone who is being deliberately provocative is a troublemaker and highly likely to continue being deliberately provocative regardless of attempts to explain things to them for the moment. In what possible world does this not make an enormous difference for how you ought to react to them?

 

[Cerberus87]

But it isn't independent of its meaning! The implication outright meaning of that phrase is 'being uptight about videogames makes you gay' and thus 'being gay is something that is bad'. Now, I could (quite easily!) make a rhyming phrase about, say, black men and the size of their genitals, namely how they are 'bigger' than normal. Would this be a catchy phrase? Sure. Would it rhyme? Yes! Would it be rude, stereotypical, and altogether something I should not have said? Yes.

I know about everything you said, I just wanted to make a light-hearted comment. :D

BTW, about black men, there's one that's quite flattering to them and it indirectly refers to their penis size and the assumed sexual prowess derived from it: "Once you go black, you never come back". As a white man I feel slightly degraded by this, but I don't give it much thought. Because there's absolutely no reason why a black man would be thought of as a better lover (and, conversely, an Asian man as a worse lover) if it wasn't for the erroneous assumption that penis size = more pleasure for women (should I say "passive partner" to be more abrangent?). I mean, Tyrion Lannister from A Song of Ice and Fire is a fucking midget and still has bed time with hot chicks. :D

 

[Blastoise Fortooate]

Whoops, Internet and Sarcasm and all that. :p

Well, think about how it must be to be a black man with a small or average penis. The expectations put on you would be even worse than the general fear men tend to have about the size of their penises.

That's great! But there is a distinction between telling people that it isn't all right and exploding and calling them bigoted jerks.

Of course it matters if he meant to be offensive. The whole "intent doesn't matter!" view annoys the hell out of me. Intent matters because someone who does not mean to be offensive is not a bad or bigoted person and you can just politely explain to them why they shouldn't do whatever they did, whereas someone who is being deliberately provocative is a troublemaker and highly likely to continue being deliberately provocative regardless of attempts to explain things to them for the moment. In what possible world does this not make an enormous difference for how you ought to react to them?

Yeah, I'm sorry about that, Kincaid. Should have been waaaaaaay less jerkish about that.

It does, it does. Again, phrasing was wrong, but what I mean to say is that using speech like that is still offensive despite the intent behind it. I didn't mean to say that they were exactly the same no matter what. (Ignoring the fact that that is exactly what I said technically)

 

[Phantom]

Or, you know.... when they said queers, they could have just meant weird people.

It doesn't ALWAYS mean gay, it can just mean 'different', 'unconventional'... So he might have just meant 'tiers are for weirdos', but used queer, which means the same thing when you don't jump their shit and call them a bigot.

Just thought I'd mention that....

 

[Blastoise Fortooate]

I have never in my entire life heard anyone ever seriously use the term 'queers' to mean 'odd people' and nothing else. Maybe he meant it like that but I strongly doubt it.

I am sorry for how harsh I was, though.

(Another pet peeve of mine: having to sit in the one seat on a bus that is directly over one of the wheels)

 

[Professor Wesker]

Whoops, Internet and Sarcasm and all that. :p

Well, think about how it must be to be a black man with a small or average penis. The expectations put on you would be even worse than the general fear men tend to have about the size of their penises.



Yeah, I'm sorry about that, Kincaid. Should have been waaaaaaay less jerkish about that.

It does, it does. Again, phrasing was wrong, but what I mean to say is that using speech like that is still offensive despite the intent behind it. I didn't mean to say that they were exactly the same no matter what. (Ignoring the fact that that is exactly what I said technically)

Nah, that was totally my bad. I'm sorry if I offended you, man, I should've watched my language. I'm no bigot, I swear!

Back on topic, I really hate going to dances now that dubstep is popular. I liked for about a week, now, I want to scream when my ears are assaulted by WUBWUBWUBWUB WUB WUBWUBWUB ARGH.

 

[Superbird]

As Smogon explains it, Tiers aren't there to hinder you and make you stop using your favorites, they're there so that you can use your favorites and have a decent chance.

 

[Tailsy]

If you're into classic literature I'm sure you'll find many a book where the word 'queer' simply means 'odd' or 'unconventional'. Mind you, it was never a particularly positive term and the meaning has now changed and you really can't get away from it!

 

[Blastoise Fortooate]

Yes, I'm aware that 'queer' can mean 'weird', but I've never seen anyone say 'queers' to simply mean 'weird people'.

Another one: when people use chewing tobacco at my school and then spill it everywhere. It stinks and the smell does not disperse.

 

[Tailsy]

Yes. That was what I was saying.

 

[Dannichu]

If we're talking about cars and lights, people who don't indicate, especially at roundabouts.

This. aka THE ENTIRE (car driving) POPULATION OF CANTERBURY.

They also seem to not understand that, at a zebra crossing, you are legally obliged to stop to let a pedestrian cross. It's not Europe, it's not a suggestion, a place where pedestrians may choose to wait for a gap in traffic. If you're driving and the road in front has a zebra crossing where somebody on foot is waiting, you stop.

Unless you're in Canterbury, apparently.

 

[bulbasaur]

I have never in my entire life heard anyone ever seriously use the term 'queers' to mean 'odd people' and nothing else. Maybe he meant it like that but I strongly doubt it.

Not to belabour the matter, but I'd read so much "classic literature" (actually it's still used as such today in some books!) that when I was asked in gr. 9 whether I was queer I responded "guess which way you look at it". When pressed, I answered "you're the best judge of that". After that, the person said, "dude, you're queer." I said, "I guess so?" really confused about why people press the matter so much about me being weird. I learned the other definition of the word a few minutes later and didn't really believe it until I searched the word up online!

(Another pet peeve of mine: having to sit in the one seat on a bus that is directly over one of the wheels)

Actually, I like sitting over the wheels! On a cold winter day, they generate lots of heat! What don't you like about them?

when people use chewing tobacco at my school

Is that legal?

As Smogon explains it, Tiers aren't there to hinder you and make you stop using your favorites, they're there so that you can use your favorites and have a decent chance.

What if your favourites range from NU to Uber?

 

[Dannichu]

BTW, about black men, there's one that's quite flattering to them and it indirectly refers to their penis size and the assumed sexual prowess derived from it: "Once you go black, you never come back". As a white man I feel slightly degraded by this, but I don't give it much thought. Because there's absolutely no reason why a black man would be thought of as a better lover (and, conversely, an Asian man as a worse lover) if it wasn't for the erroneous assumption that penis size = more pleasure for women (should I say "passive partner" to be more abrangent?). I mean, Tyrion Lannister from A Song of Ice and Fire is a fucking midget and still has bed time with hot chicks. :D

I was too busy raging about drivers before to notice this, but while we're politely pointing things out, even 'flattering' racial stereotypes are incredibly harmful. The social conception of black men, that they're sexually aggressive, predatory, and out to rape white women is hugely damaging, and it's tied directly not only to the penis size thing, but ideas that black men are all about the sex, rather than 'civilised' white-people things like love and dating. You might feel degraded by this stereotype, but it's not just white guys who're hurt by this kind of thinking.

 

[Tarvos]

If you're talking about the post I think you're talking about, the infraction is at least stated to be for refusing to remove the word "retarded" when requested, not for fatphobia?

That wasn't the message I got. But in any case, I know with what intention I wrote the post. Part of the reason I refused to change it is because I knew exactly which intentions were behind writing it, and though whoever infracted me can and does disagree with how I expressed my sentiment, I know why I did it and since the starter of the thread found it useful, that is pretty much enough for me to know my idea is validated.

If anyone here thinks that was a malicious post, they should think again. Yes, it was definitely full of exaggeration and cursing, but sometimes, you need to be abrasive. Sometimes being a nice English jolly old chap is not the right approach, and for the record, I really do believe politeness is a very good thing (and I am someone who is known to be civil and conflict avoidant to the point of stupidity). This is something people do not understand, and I'll say it because I find it something that people really don't understand:

LIFE IS NOT LA-LA-LAND. In life, you don't have candy sticks and sugar cones and rainbow bubblegum pies and then everything is okay. Sometimes, the shit hits the fan and you deal with it. And if there's a frustration or an idea or something that's wrong, you speak out about it and raise the issue and tear the fucking roof down to get the point across. And that comes across as not being nice because it looks, outwardly, that you're being self-destructive because the aggression and fear in the tone of voice that you use implies hostility. But I am very rarely outright hostile (if you manage that - congratulations. You are the biggest jerk in the world). Often I post something and rant because I genuinely think there needs to be a change. I can utter that frustration by blowing up and providing a glowing rant, but that doesn't mean I'm angry at somebody or hate them with a passion. In fact I can't think of anyone whom I genuinely hate (just people that are mildly confusing and people whose general attitude just completely does not jive with mine).

But it's good. I think that part of being able to get along is to shrug off some things that could be taken offensively but aren't meant to be, they're just expressed in a different way, so you just let it go. Part of not wanting conflict means you don't seek it out either, and that's generally what I do. If I don't care about a certain thread or topic or whatever, I just make a mental note to not go there.

That's also why I'm not changing what I do or who I am. I know exactly when I am intending to be a dick, and it does happen, I sometimes have been bored and a dick on occasion especially a couple years ago. But you grow out of that shit. What pisses me off is people's over-sensitive reactions to things they should put in context and understand the personal idea behind it. They should consistently read what's being written because the fact I'm using an expletive doesn't necessarily convey anger or aggression.

 

[Spoon]

This. aka THE ENTIRE (car driving) POPULATION OF CANTERBURY.

They also seem to not understand that, at a zebra crossing, you are legally obliged to stop to let a pedestrian cross. It's not Europe, it's not a suggestion, a place where pedestrians may choose to wait for a gap in traffic. If you're driving and the road in front has a zebra crossing where somebody on foot is waiting, you stop.

Unless you're in Canterbury, apparently.

What exactly is a zebra crossing? Because I'm fairly sure that Canterbury doesn't have a wild population of zebras that often cross streets. Answered by both by Blastoise, Viki, and Dannichu. With the prize of the best answer going to Dannichu! Thanks everyone! :D

Continuing on driving pet peeves, four way stops are a pain, mostly because there's always that one person that doesn't know that it isn't their turn. I'm not a big fan of turnabouts either, but thankfully there's not many in my area. Oh and stoplights that tend to have a green light for the lane that doesn't have anyone in it. And people who speed up when you have your blinker to change lanes. And...

Edit: Kind of adding to what Blastoise said about tobacco chewers. Inconsiderate smokers are a big pet peeve of mine. I'm fine and dandy if you'd like to smoke, but please do it in an area where those who are sensitive to smoke can easily avoid it. Also, just a heads up, but the school parking lot isn't one of those places.

 

[Blastoise Fortooate]

Actually, I like sitting over the wheels! On a cold winter day, they generate lots of heat! What don't you like about them?

There's no leg room/place to put my backpack.

Is that legal?

Not at all, but it might as well be when you consider how little the staff seems to do about it. Too many absences? They'll freak out. Walking around with a bottle full of brown spit? Not a thing has ever been done that I've seen.

What exactly is a zebra crossing? Because I'm fairly sure that Canterbury doesn't have a wild population of zebras that often cross streets.

I'm pretty sure that it's at least similar to a crosswalk.

 

[surskitty]

Crosswalks have those black and white stripes, yes? Zebra.

 

[Dannichu]

I got some pretty excellent people to model a zebra crossing for you, Spoon :D

 

[Momo(th)]

but while we're politely pointing things out, even 'flattering' racial stereotypes are incredibly harmful.

When I tell some people I'm Native American, they immediately assume I'm some sort of "master" of nature, and I can track down animals with my sense of smell alone.

Seriously, it annoys the crap out of me.

 

[hopeandjoy]

The Vocaloid fandom has a bit of a problem when it comes to people joking about raping the younger male Vocaloids (mostly Len because he's a Cyptonloid).

I have a tiny little problem with that.

A tiny little deleting problem with that.