Sexuality

[Minish]

I honestly don't care what gender a person is when it comes to love.

...and all bisexual apparently people do?

Sorry, I have a few niggles with the whole pansexuality concept. :/ Pansexuality sometimes seems to me just like a "we're bisexual but less shallow!" group and I find that a little offensive.

Also, gender =/= sex. Most people are only defined by a sexuality because they don't feel anything for a certain gender's genitals.

 

[ultraviolet]

Sorry, I have a few niggles with the whole pansexuality concept. :/ Pansexuality sometimes seems to me just like a "we're bisexual but less shallow!" group and I find that a little offensive.

well it's the whole 'third gender' or whatever thing. People who don't want to assert themselves as male or female (or both, or transgender, or... anything, really). 'Bisexual' as a term suggests a gender binary, and I guess Pansexual doesn't. I identify as bisexual because androgyny doesn't really attract me in any way I can think of, for now. I have a few pansexual friends and one of them used to be in a relationship with a transgender guy.

I know what you mean, though. Being Pansexual seems to be the new Bisexual among some groups.

 

[Porygon]

Asexual.

 

[H-land]

I wonder if guys are more conditioned to be repulsed by the idea of being hit on by another man than women.

I imagine if I were to be hit on by a man that it would simply be very awkward and potentially disappointing. Depending on the circumstances, though, I may just feel like I'd want to go home and lay down afterward, though, or offer to have lunch with them anyway or what, but in any case, I'm sure it'd pretty much ruin my day. Not ruin-ruin, but it's the best way I can think to describe a situation in which I'd be preoccupied then until I went to sleep that night, at least.

 

[spaekle]

I imagine if I were to be hit on by a man that it would simply be very awkward and potentially disappointing. Depending on the circumstances, though, I may just feel like I'd want to go home and lay down afterward, though, or offer to have lunch with them anyway or what, but in any case, I'm sure it'd pretty much ruin my day. Not ruin-ruin, but it's the best way I can think to describe a situation in which I'd be preoccupied then until I went to sleep that night, at least.

Wow, this is how I've felt the few times I've been hit on by anyone. :o

Well, that and a mixture of 'lol, someone doesn't think I'm hideous.'

 

[Spoon]

The very few times that a guy has hit on me, I feel just plain awkard. (I haven't been hit on by a girl, but it'd almost certainly be the same result.) I don't really know what to say to make it clear that I'm not interested without being too blunt. And considering it's almost always a friend, it makes it even more difficult. Like H-land and Spaekle, it kinda ruins the day for me.

 

[ZimD]

i don't get why some people care so much more when someone who is gay hits on them than they do when its someone straight of the opposite gender who they don't like. either way it's someone who is interested in you and you aren't in them, why does it matter more when they're the gender you don't like? someone straight who is more creeped out by being hit on by gay people than by straight people of the opposite gender explain this plz

also i'm probably bi, i might be gay idk i'm not going to claim to totally have myself figured out at age fourteen, but i'm definitely not straight

 

[Autumn]

someone straight who is more creeped out by being hit on by gay people than by straight people of the opposite gender explain this plz

can't speak from experience (I've had straight guys and gay girls hit on me and both make me feel equally uncomfortable :V) but I would assume it's because they at least have the ability (for lack of a better word) to like the straight person back but not so much the gay person. Or perhaps they're homophobic. :/

 

[Crazy Linoone]

Can't say that I have much experience, but getting hit on in general makes me feel uncomfortable...

I think I'm going to take back the "I don't know"; I'm going with asexual instead.

 

[Elliekat]

If I got hit on by a girl, it would be uncomfortable for me, since I'm hetero, but it would also be kinda nice to know that at least SOMEONE feels that I'm attractive and is also brave enough to let me know.

Although that is unlikely to happen here in ConservativeSuburbanville, PA.

 

[ZimD]

why would it be worse because it's a girl, than a guy you aren't interested in? if it's a guy, you aren't interested because he's a douche or annoying or creepy or ugly or whatever problem you have with that specific guy. if it's a girl, you aren't interested because it's a girl. why is there any difference, either way you aren't interested and i don't see why it's so much of a bigger deal for it to be a girl than a guy you aren't interested. and i'd like someone straight to explain why. it comes off as homophobia to me, tbh.

(if you're a straight guy just replace the genders throughout this post)

 

[Elliekat]

Well, it's probably because I have spent my whole life in ConservativeSuburbanville PA, but I probably an a liiiitle bit homophobic, yes. And also, I have issues when I have to confront people. So, in answer, I'd probably be as uncomfortable if I was hit on by a guy I had no interest in, also. I wouldn't know, though, because none of those have ever happened :P

 

[Lorem Ipsum]

Well, it's probably because I have spent my whole life in ConservativeSuburbanville PA, but I probably an a liiiitle bit homophobic, yes. And also, I have issues when I have to confront people. So, in answer, I'd probably be as uncomfortable if I was hit on by a guy I had no interest in, also. I wouldn't know, though, because none of those have ever happened :P

Why does where you were brought up matter? Seriously? A person can make their own decisions. For what precise reasons are you a little bit homophobic?

 

[Elliekat]

I know I can make my own decisions. It's just that all my life I've been around hetero people, and now that I'm getting older and meeting homo/bi/whatever people, it just feels a little uncomfortable. Sometimes though, it doesn't matter- one of my friends just told me she was bi, but I usually forget that when we hang out :P

 

[Murkrow]

I know I can make my own decisions. It's just that all my life I've been around hetero people, and now that I'm getting older and meeting homo/bi/whatever people, it just feels a little uncomfortable. Sometimes though, it doesn't matter- one of my friends just told me she was bi, but I usually forget that when we hang out :P

Unless your friend talks about nothing except being bi, which I doubt, I don't see why you wouldn't 'forget'. I wouldn't think people's sexuality is one of the main things you think about when talking to them.

 

[Harlequin]

I always feel upset and disappointed when girls are attracted to me. I also feel guilty that I can't actually go through with anything, because most of the girls who like me are really nice, pretty and interesting girls.

It's upsetting and disappointing. Both because I feel like I've failed them and because they're not men.

 

[Minish]

I know I can make my own decisions. It's just that all my life I've been around hetero people, and now that I'm getting older and meeting homo/bi/whatever people, it just feels a little uncomfortable. Sometimes though, it doesn't matter- one of my friends just told me she was bi, but I usually forget that when we hang out :P

But... you just acknowledged that you're aware that you might be homophobic because of your unbringing. You seem to realise that gay/bi people or whatever are just like everyone else, so how can you be homophobic? I'm confused. :/

Forget it? What, would you expect it to always be the thing on your mind? That doesn't really make any sense either.

 

[Jolty]

I know I can make my own decisions. It's just that all my life I've been around hetero people, and now that I'm getting older and meeting homo/bi/whatever people, it just feels a little uncomfortable. Sometimes though, it doesn't matter- one of my friends just told me she was bi, but I usually forget that when we hang out :P

EVERYONE their whole life has been around heterosexual people, that is no excuse

I didn't know any non-heterosexual people outside the internet for a good few years after coming out

 

[opaltiger]

But... you just acknowledged that you're aware that you might be homophobic because of your unbringing. You seem to realise that gay/bi people or whatever are just like everyone else, so how can you be homophobic? I'm confused. :/

I am willing to bet that, if you were to be in an area where you were the minority - say, racially - you would notice. You might even feel a little uncomfortable. Everyone is, on some subconscious level, racist to some degree. Elliekat is, I imagine, homophobic in the same way. Perhaps you may not see that as racist/homophobic, but I think it is.

 

[goldenquagsire]

also, bear in mind that upbringing can have a significant effect on your outlook in life. even though we all have the capability to make up our own minds about stuff, if we've been brought up to believe something - especially if, like Elliekat, we've been raised in a strongly conservative environment - then it will still imprint on our minds even if we try to adopt more rational beliefs.

the fact that she recognises her faults means that she'll probably eventually discard her prejudices.