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The LGBT Club

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I can't really help you with when to come out, but as for how... maybe get a boyfriend and mention it casually? Make subtle references, like "Well maybe my future husband will..." or things like that? And if they try to correct you you just say "No I said what I meant and I meant what I said" or something?
 
Dewgong said:
depends on how homophobic they are. if they're like... suspectable to kick you out, not support you financially, etc. i'd wait.

also, i think you'd probably feel better telling them too, but i don't know your parents, and some parents act extremely bad towards coming out.
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Like, I fear that they're going to kick me out, but I think that's just my survival instinct kicking in. They're not very decent as far as people go, but they wouldn't do that, I don't think. I'm more scared of what they could do, rather than what they would do.


Dinru said:
I can't really help you with when to come out, but as for how... maybe get a boyfriend and mention it casually? Make subtle references, like "Well maybe my future husband will..." or things like that? And if they try to correct you you just say "No I said what I meant and I meant what I said" or something?
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I've been trying this. Like referencing having no kids and people would normally say "you don't want kids?" I usually respond with "I don't not want kids, but I probably won't (be able to) have them."
Whenever I reference a hypothetical boyfriend I either use partner or "them."
I've told people I don't want to get married as a ploy to myself so that I won't be extremely let down if I won't be able to.

Of course, I can always wait a couple years until prom, get a date, rent a limo so that they'd have to pick me up at my house, have him knock on the door, and watch the expressions on my parents' faces when I introduce him.
Freaking priceless. I'd have to plant secret cameras.

Or if I get a boyfriend after prom chances are over, like in uni or something, I could just bring him home for Christmas and be like "Mom, [Boyfriend]. [Boyfriend], mom." She'd probably ask if he wants the downstairs room and I'd be like "Oh, no, that's fine. Nice of you to ask, but he can stay in my room," if she doesn't get the hint we're dating at first.
 
EvilCrazyMonkey said:
Hey, does anyone have any advice for coming out in a non-confronting way? I'm ready for my parents to know but not to tell them. I actually /want/ them to know because I think that I'd feel better. I don't like them that much (and they're homophobic), so is it just better to wait until I can financially support myself?
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I'm only semi-serious about this...

Tell them at the most awkward of times for them. Mine was easy coz my mum isn't homophobic (am I the only person here who's parent/s isn't/aren't homophobe/s?)
 
My parents aren't homophobic.. But I could be fairly sure they're transphobic. They've always been okay with gay; they told me they figured I was actually. Kind of typical that, but as soon as I told them what was REALLY going on they flipped. <_< And started asking me "Why can't you just be... gay, instead? Gay's fine! This is..." "You know, even if you were gay, that would be fine, but... this?" "You know, everyone at those meetings ((LGBT Centre)) can act all happy go lucky about this, but we can see the truth, noone gets it! They're lying to you and themselves!"
Ugh die in a fiery pit please.

Anyway..... the best advice I can give is drop hints. =/ Make it so it's more a suspected thing, so it's like getting hit in the head with a rock, instead of.. a train.
 
Just act like it's perfectly normal, like it doesn't mean anything. Because it is, and it doesn't. o.o Getting a boyfriend and then trying to convey that he's your boyfriend without directly saying anything is practically asking for chaos and is kinda obnoxious, but just mentioning it casually could work (relatively) well.

Mom asked me one day if I'd had any crushes on girls recently and I said "nah, crushes on boys"; she didn't make a big deal out of it. (I knew she'd be okay with it. That wasn't the issue. I just didn't want her to fuss over it, and it... worked.)
 
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Yay! ^_^

It seems that most of my gay/bi friends who live near me have parents who are like "ZOMG UR GAY GTFO"

One of them has a step-dad who'd kick him out of home if he found out. Which sucks, because it means I can't *wink*
 
My mother's not homophobic, but my dad is, kind of. Don't care really since he's nearly always in another country, usually thousands of miles away.
I've tried dropping hints to my mum about stuff, and she's gotten more used to the idea that I want masculine clothes and helps me out now (though she got pretty upset when I said I didn't want to wear a dress and make-up to our version of the prom and we had to compromise. She plans these things out in advance :v). And she once actually asked me whether I felt like a boy but I was a retard and said no (derp) and she told me she's support me whatever I'd do regarding gender once when she was a bit high on sleeping pills.

foreign contaminant, I read your message and it is a pretty perplexing situation. I can only really see a couple of things; either it's some kind of temporary loss of interest due to hormones doing backflips (which does happen more often than people are willing to admit), which I think seems likely, or you're somehow evolved into asexuality, which wouldn't be the worst thing ever because asexuals can still have relationships, seeing as asexual =/= aromantic.
But I don't know, it's a hard situation to be in, sorry I can't be of any help :/
 
Alas, you still annoy the hell out of me. :c sorry.

Mom told me the other day that I was in America and girls have to shave in America even though she 'understands why' I don't want to, but she said I have to shave. I didn't. TAKE THAT!
 
Verne said:
Alas, you still annoy the hell out of me. :c sorry.

Mom told me the other day that I was in America and girls have to shave in America even though she 'understands why' I don't want to, but she said I have to shave. I didn't. TAKE THAT!
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omg me too except replace america with 'planet earth'
brograbs.
 
(rant post)

Oh, children, and their need to have everything fit into a simple little box that their simple little minds can feel comfortable with. The most intolerant people I've ever seen of straying from gender norms have been kids. Which is probably among the myriad of reasons why I hate them so much.

My 8-year-old brother, for example. He firmly believes that girls have long hair and boys have short. He thinks I should like having my hair long 'because that's girly', and since I'm a girl in his eyes, I'm supposed to like what he percieves as being 'girly'. Hell, in his demented view of the world, I'm supposed to be exactly like those bitches on that iCarly show he watches (and that I like to make a point of telling him that, from an outside viewpoint, is a pretty 'girly' show, just to make him a little more insecure.)

It doesn't even stop at people. It matters to him what sex animals are. He feels the need to refer to the birds he sees on the bird feeder outside as "that male bird" or "that female bird". When I realized that one of my new pet frogs is actually female, it was like the biggest news he'd heard all week. As if you're supposed to treat a fucking frog differently because of what reproductive organs it has. He even wanted to change her name to something 'girlier' (and her name is "Pickle", which seems fairly unisex to me.) Hell, he won't even catch a Pokemon he wants if it happens to be female, because I guess that makes him 'girly' or something.

tl;dr my brother is an annoying fuckwit and being as odd as I am in the gender area he's quite a chore to be around.

Although he did make me laugh once... during the conversation about me having short hair, he asked something along the lines of "what, are you going to get rid of all your girl things and be a boy now?" and I was like "well, uh..."
 
kids are awful with that stuff. i know some around that age and they're the same way. it sucks. and it's extremely annoying. my grandpa is the same about the "girls should have long hair" thing it's awful. :(

anyways my cousins all act like that.
 
I know what you mean Speakle... one of my little cousins once gaped in astonishment when she found out that me and two of our other (female) cousins play video games. "But video games are for boys!" Ugh. And her dad (my uncle) joined in. And then said uncle accused all of us of being lesbians. Little did he know...

But I digress.

But at least they're young enough to slowly introduce to the concept of "not acting or being a certain way due to your genitals", and maybe actually get it.
 
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