Teh Ebil Snorlax
izombie, uzombie, weallzombie
How would this fare in the location of said Garden?
This bit seems rather silly; what does plate tectonics have to do with the Garden of Eden? Assuming it existed, its location could have been far enough away from plate boundaries that the collision of continents would have had little to no major impact on it. I don't think plate tectonics are an sort of disproof of the Garden of Eden.
The fact that the Bible is inconsistent both with itself and reality, however, is.