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Flora
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  • hi flora, you're awesome and i love you and i'm not totally comfortable really offering input and i hope you can understand that but i'm worried about you and if you ever need to talk about anything i'm here. :( i understand where all the things you're saying are coming from and you aren't crazy and i hope everything is okay. you're super cool. hang in there.
    My friends went to NYC to see Hamilton for their senior trip. They got their tickets in November, so they had seating waaaay in the back. They both entered the lottery, and they won.

    They took Puerto Rican flags with them. When time came for the bows, Lin literally turned to them, looked at them, smiled and bowed his head. I believe them to be dead.
    don't worry about it. I had a model un competition in the US and you would not BELIEVE the shit people said to our group

    "Do you use Puerto Rican pesos?" (we've used the US dollar ever since we became their colony)
    "Do you have cellphones in Puerto Rico?"
    "Do you have Disney in Puerto Rico?"

    honestly i find it completely appalling how little people know about PR
    we're not savages
    yeah really! and like it wasn't just me thinking it's okay, it was me like... asserting that it was okay?? people told me that it wasn't okay and i'd just think "ok thanks dickbag" like they had just said The Douchiest Thing In The World but i realise now that they... were... right...

    yeah seriously???? i was fucking eleven what the fuckkkk. how did this happen, who allowed this
    thanks!! i'm glad too. it's led to nice things like bee movie kisses so that's a clear plus. it's weird how things seem really obviously harmful in retrospect but seem so... okay at the time?

    also congratulations on graduating college!!! you were sixteen when i first met you honestly what the fuck
    Okay dude. I think as a Victim Of This Specific Issue, it might be maybe helpful for you to get a little insight from someone who's sitting closer to his side of the spectrum. I don't know if any of this will help you out but i actually just faced a minor crisis regarding this exact problem so if the knowledge i gained from that little fiasco can help you out, then cool, it wasn't totally negative!

    Basically: i am super totally paranoid of being replaced. Like, it literally haunts my dreams, just like it reportedly does to your boyfriend. I'm basically constantly on edge because she could just totally remove me at ANY SECOND and jesus it's so stressful. I think it comes in part with low self-esteem because JESUS CHRIST I'M STUCK A DORK WHY THE HELL IS SHE WITH ME clearly she's going to leave me any second now. That's something i struggled with for... quite a long time, a little over a year, and i told her about it frequently (just as your boyfriend seems to do), and she'd reassure me. It didn't really put me at ease that much but at least when i was feeling down about it i could go, oh, but Courtney said that she actually won't leave me because i'm not a piece of shit! I don't personally believe that but at least i know she does, so it really does calm me down when i'm feeling off. I know that simple reassurance might not seem like a lot, but i swear it goes a long way... even if it doesn't seem like it.

    The thing that really stopped my worrying on this, though, is something that happened super recently. Basically, Courtney got asked out by someone else, and the only reason she didn't do it is because she was told she wasn't allowed! (Sometimes being a teenager and living with parents actually works out for me in a good way, apparently.) That was really hard on me, because after all the promising she'd done about not replacing me, she'd done and effectively done it. Sure, she wasn't able to follow through, but she would have if she'd been able, and that's what counted. So we had a good long talk, a few ugly things came out of it, but she said this: "I know it hurt you and i regret it, but i just want it to be clear that no matter what path i take, you're at the end of it." We ended with a compromise that neither of us will see anyone until we're allowed to be together again... I can't recommend that for you, as it's a bit limiting and controlling and doesn't really apply in your case, but a more tailored version might be assuring your boyfriend that no matter what happens, he's still number one! No matter what you say, he's always going to have doubts, but if he can go back to something you've said in the past that can calm him down, that's really all you can do and i promise it really does make things a ton better. Just be there for him, and remind him that you're not some floozy off the streets! You're a classy lady! You aren't just going to leave him because you've grown tired of the same old toy and want something new. As your relationship progresses, i'm sure he'll figure these things out for himself, but for the time being, a little reassurance goes a long way. Scout's honour.
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