ok uh
Grammatical Critique (I can point out specific examples if needed)
"Subject verb-ed, and other-verb-ed." is WRONG. It should be "Subject verb-ed and other-verb-ed." However, "Subject verb-ed, and other-subject other-verb-ed." is correct.
"rows... each and every one of them embarrassed of their actions" is wrong. "Each" is singular, so "their" should not be used to refer to it.
Write out numbers <21. Not 2000's, 2000s.
Some stuff is.. awkward? idk. It sounds wrong but I can't pinpoint it. In the sentence starting with "Ultimately" what is "this" referring to?
The word "winded" is not the past participle of the verb wind as used; use "wound". (Winded is correct when "wind" is used as "cause someone or something to have difficulty breathing" but it is not in this case.)
"Congregate" does not take an object. The crew congregates, the captain does not congregate his crew. He might gather them, but not congregate.
"This is a fragment," she said. "and this is a continuation."
NOT
"This is a fragment," she said, "and this is a continuation." I THINK. I might be wrong.
"cocked" as used always takes an object. "The muskets cocked" is wrong; "the muskets were cocked" is right.
Capitalize the a in "a cloud of smoke ... them" because a cloud of smoke has nothing to do with "Fire!"
again, write out numbers <21
"Wounds on their arms, legs, and torso" wrong: arms, legs, and torsos, because "Others" is plural.
"The local tribe, grateful for their rescue, offered anything they wanted"? The second "they" has an unclear antecedent. Did the tribe offer anything the tribe wanted? (Also, tribe is singular, so it would be "grateful for its rescue".)
Delegate is used a lot in the last two paragraphs. Is there any other word? "Spokesperson"? "Representative"?
"Although some..." the "they" is again unclear.
Your writing style is kind of tell-not-showy, but mine is too. I don't know how to fix that, besides "try being more show-not-telly"?
"This is a complete sentence," said the dude. "The first letter of this sentence is capitalized because it's not a continuation of the previous sentence even if that sentence ends with a comma."