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Shiny Grimer
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  • I know how you feel. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of two years (by recently I mean a couple months ago). Things get easier. Just move forward one day at a time. Sooner or later things will get better.
    I think it's a definite possibility that just being around him and being coupley with him enough will just make my hormones go "Hey girl just like him already you're already doing coupley things!" I would seriously consider just annoying the crap out of bffxboyfriend by being coupley except for the fact that I ~still~ am kinda opposed to being /too/ coupley in public. xD Maybe that's a side effect of not fully liking him or something idk...
    (Oh yeah, forgot to mention. He's two grades younger than me - I'm a senior, he's a sophomore. If you consider the scope of my friends - bff is a soph, bff's boyfriend is a freshie, other closest guy friend is a soph, other closest girl friend is a junior - as well as the fact that I'm only 16 instead of 17 like most seniors are when they start senior year and boyfriend is 15, it's not that weird, but I'm worried I'm going to walk into band on Tuesday and the trumpet section will be waiting for me like "Polymetric. We need to talk to you about your boyfriend." and I'll be like oshi)

    You wanna go out? :P *shot*
    All jokes aside, though, it sucks that your relationship ended up doing this to you. ><; I still remember the Fwee Thread post you made back in like December that was "My crush likes me back~ My crush likes me back~ My crush likes me back~" and now it's like what happened and why ; ; I don't even have any advice because I've never been in that kind of situation. I offer my support that things get better for you and that you can have another relationship sometime soon, though. *huuuuug*
    before he was my boyfriend he was my closest guy friend. I knew he had a crush on me - even before I had it confirmed from bff, it was pretty obvious to me that he liked me. Just. the way he acted, the things he did, I knew that he definitely liked me. Then I ended up telling him that yes, I knew he liked me, and he was like "Guess I should know better than to tell your best friend stuff like that xD" and I was like "Nah I guessed." But nothing really happened - it wasn't awkward for me or anything, and we continued to text 24/7. When we were at band I made a concentrated effort to hang out with him, because I thought that it was a distinct possibility that I could, over time, grow to have a crush on him back. (I mean, obviously - he's my closest guy friend - but there are just some friends that you know you'd never end up liking like that. He's not one of them.) On Tuesday I was texting him and I was talking about how I could have potentially gotten into a possibly-fatal car crash earlier that day and he was like "Wouldn't want to see my buddy die :P" and I was like "Don't even call me your buddy I know if I seriously died it'd mean a /lot/ more to you than if just one of your other friends had died." and he was like "But I can't say anything else it'll be awkward." and I was like "No come on I dealt with a crush on bff for three months and NOTHING WAS EVER AWKWARD nothing you can say will be awkward." I was expecting him to make some statement like "Alright, wouldn't want to see my love die ^^" or something but, surprisingly, he ended up asking "Do you think it could ever go anywhere?"

    About a week prior, we'd been talking about arranging a group of people to go to the movies. I decided that I'd sit next to him and if he made a move, like putting his arm around me or whatnot, I wouldn't protest, because I felt like there was a distinct possibility that we could sort of... grow into a relationship. Maybe it wouldn't be a relationship where I seriously liked him back the way he liked me, but as of late I've just been feeling generally lonely and I'd like to be able to have coupley companionship with someone who doesn't mind. I figured that since he liked me, he certainly wouldn't mind - basically, I knew that if the topic of "relationship?" came up I wouldn't protest. I'd never had a boyfriend or a girlfriend before, and I knew the experience would be more beneficial than anything else, even if it wasn't really a mutual attraction thing.

    So when he sent that text, I was a bit surprised but I knew that telling him "No, it definitely won't go anywhere" wasn't true. So I answered with "I can't say I really have a crush on you back like you have one on me. But I'm not opposed to being in a relationship, really :P" so here we are. Haven't really been on a date yet (we're thinkin' goinna see a movie next weekend) but we did hold hands for a bit at a football game on Friday. Like I said, just because I don't necessarily like him doesn't mean I'm opposed to coupley actions with him... I just want someone I can be coupley with so :P. And I mean he was my closest guy friend before he was my boyfriend so I'm comfortable around him and all.
    Im startinq to question if he ever really liked me in de first place. Ive been hearin a lot of thinqs dat I dont really like. Its... ultimately just confirminq what I thouqht all alonq. but its not entirely clear. Ultimately I think he just never took it as a serious relationship. Whatever.

    I just miss havin a boyfriend to huq. huqqinq your friends is not the same. And you cant kiss dem, either. Or rub their hair.
    I kind of doubt he would break up with you for other people... i mean... just from what i've heard of him. :/ but if that does happen you have my utter sympathy. *hug* I hope things get better for you...
    sorry i haven't posted in a few days, I've been busy

    Oh God that sucks that he broke up with you. :( I've never had to deal with one of my friends' breakups before so I can't imagine how that must feel, and I'm absolutely horrid at expressing sympathy, but shit, you have my condolences. *hug* If I could I would bake you a cake like seriously you deserve comfort right now. :C Here have a picture of a rainbow cake.

    *hug* I'm so sorry that had to happen ; ; break-ups are never fun.
    He broke up with me. its over.
    I am just so angry and sad. it was the distance. i can never get him back, this I know.
    I want to break something. my head hurts from crying.
    officially the shittiest summer of my life.
    Indeed. (I baked her a cake because I felt bad about what happened. When I delivered the cake she promptly asked if I wanted to stay at her house so I did. things are pretty peachy between us ^^ just not so much with ass-friend)

    Yeah, it's a fanfic we're writing and posting on a crappy-but-popular Warriors forum. Everyone has warrior names (I'm Flowerpelt :V it's like the complete opposite of my personality) and crazy personalities (the bff/main character is Rainheart and she overreacts to everything and is going to kill all her friendships by the end of the story.) and it's the one thing that keeps us sane when we have drama since we immediately go "How will Rainheart react?" and laugh at her reactions. xD
    Ass-friend did once say that BFF's life would make a wonderful sitcom of sorts. It's like the one thing I agree with him on.

    I kind of doubt he'll end up cheating on you. I don't know him personally, but since he appears to have Asperger's, and since I have Asperger's, I can tell you that people with Asperger's/autism have a tendency to cling to the people that will actually talk to them. I was bullied and didn't have many friends throughout middle school, so when I got to high school I started clinging like crazy to the people that would actually talk to me, because they didn't bully me and they were actually my friends. BFF (whom I suspect has an extremely mild case of Asperger's) did the exact same thing to me when I talked to her on the second day of band camp last year. When people with Asperger's/autism find people willing to accept them unconditionally, they really sort of cling to that person. I really don't think he'll break up with you/cheat on you, but I don't know him, so.

    People with Asperger's/autism tend to be unconditionally honest (about everything, whether it's socially acceptable or not) so he's probably telling the truth when he talks to you.

    That's probably a good idea. Talking to him too much might be a bad idea, but it doesn't seem like isolation is the best answer either, so...

    I really don't think anything's gonna happen... I could be wrong but with my experience with Asperger's and this kind of thing I highly doubt you have much to worry about. I think just trusting him is the best thing you can do for now... :/

    ... okay, I just looked at it and I guess all my points above were moot in the light of the whole "pathological liar" thing. o.o' I still don't think he'll cheat though. But, um, wow, you're kind of in an odd situation there... I hope things work out for you. *hug*

    (i've probably been no help xD sorry i'm terrible at relationship advice...)
    It's gonna hurt to not really be able to talk to him (moreso for her of course) but it's for the best. :(

    I probably would, too xD
    (the funny thing is that i didn't dislike him three years ago. when he chased me around a Sonic after having spent the entire weekend trying to flirt with me. :V)

    I do too. BFF ended up asking earlier if I really meant what I'd said to ass-friend about how I thought her boyfriend was faking the affection for her. I couldn't lie and say no, because she knew damn well that I'd said that and would know I was lying. I couldn't say yes, because that would hurt. So I was like "we can't have this conversation." and she goes "yes or no." and i was like "i can't answer." "so yes then." "..." and then she said something about how she'd thought i'd had her back and i tried to explain that i did. i did support them being together (it's not like i'm going around spending all my free time going "HOW DO I BREAK THEM UP) but i just had emotional build-up and it expressed itself in the form of what their relationship looks like to me. But I tried to make it sound like I don't believe that by pointing out that I'm in no position to judge their relationship, that I haven't always been thinking like that, that I could very well be wrong. That seemed to do the trick and now we're talking about how this will be factored into the story we're writing about her love life where everyone overreacts to everything. :V I just hope she forgives me fully and this isn't gonna be a permanent blemish on our otherwise spotless record because this really did not need to happen. :(

    thanks for listening to me ; ; i can't say that enough

    (also, i saw your post in the grr thread. wow... i've never dealt with someone who's bipolar before so i wouldn't even know how to respond... i hope it all works out for you:( )
    Well we both broke off communications, as i mentioned (he tried to apologize last night but she's not buying it) so hopefully we're done.

    ... Nobody really likes her boyfriend, except her. Not even his own brother. She knows it. I think I may have given off the impression that I didn't like him (can't remember if it was just an impression or if I ever explicitly said that I didn't like him, but either way she knew we weren't particularly fond of him) - except the convo we had was sort of detailing how we didn't actually think he liked her and he was just sort of using her so he could say "I've got a girlfriend!" I mean, I know I'm not the only one that thinks this, but I even wrote specifically into the email convo with ass-friend that telling her this theory would make her defensive and she would never believe us. I said that if she were to consider it it would have to come from an outside source or her own experiences rather than /us/. And yet he went and told her all this anyway.

    Yeaaaaah no. I thought he'd leave her alone too but no, he's complaining about she gets to see her boyfriend more often than he gets to see his (never mind that they're BOTH in Hawaii presently) and... I really don't understand his motives for attacking her like this. You'd think it would have ended but no. I don't get why.
    (Then again his emotions and my emotions are like polar opposites, so no wonder I don't understand. xD)

    This is true. The problem is that he's not really an asshole in person and I've actually found him fun to be around on occasion, but over email and text he turns into a bitch (probably /because/ of the lack of face-to-face communication). I mean, she had a genuine best-friendship with him for - for several months before he liked her and the shit hit the fan. He wasn't a bitch to her then. He wasn't a bitch to me then, either; he was fun to talk to! And then... no. I think he's been like this all along and we've just failed to recognize it.

    He emailed her last night with an extremely "heartfelt" apology. He did this once before, after the last time she broke things off, and she bought it last time. This time she refused to buy it.
    (if you'd like to take the time to read a ridiculously tl;dr rant of mine)
    (grapefruit, blueberry and plum pit are the forum's censors for fuck, bitch and asshole respectively)
    Yeah, I saw it, but I wasn't sure if I could say anything to help but... I mean I've never been in a relationship or anything so idk. All I can say is that I'm sorry and I hope it works out for you because after everything you've gone through you don't need problems now. :((((( *hug*

    (if it makes you feel any better, i'm always here as a shoulder to cry on :3)
    I keep thinking it's fake. It's not. xD

    no I mean the crush herself moved to Texas. I'm totally moving to Canada after college though... except I decided I'd do so /with my BFF/ x3

    I'm already comfortable talking to her about most things related to my crush on her (oh the conversations we have had xD) because most of the time it's me talking about how I'm /not/ being hurt by my crush on her and how I'm /still/ confused that she's willing to practically live at my house despite knowing I like her and all that. But now that there's actually a problem I don't really want to bring it up because I've been priding myself on the lack of drama between us (as opposed to drama-guy-friend) and I fear mentioning it will cause drama and unhappiness. Yeah, I know, things get worse before they get better, but. D:
    It /was/ the weirdest plot twist ever. The girl and I were sitting at my house when he texted me saying "[name] likes me." and we were like "Wait. What. I thought he liked [other guy]." And then they started going out and I'm ~still~ having trouble getting used to it. xD But yeah it's completely unrealistic and that's what makes it awesome.
    ... Our entire posse of friends is filled with arrow upon arrow of romantic connections.

    let's see, how have I gotten over my crushes?
    1. moved to Texas
    2. developed a crush on BFF instead
    3. ... struggling with that now lol.
    do you think talking to her about how to get over would work or not. i don't really wanna breach the subject but I want to get over it before something bad happens.

    yay for ranting to the internets lol x3 *glomp* thank youuu
    They're very happy though. xD
    Yeah, it was.

    I did end up saying that I didn't want to hear about her boyfriend. I put up with it initially because of all the immense drama she was having with her guy friend who liked her, who wouldn't let her talk about him. He's the only other person she ever talks to about stuff like that, so I told her I'd always be there to talk to because I know she needs to talk to someone. Initially it didn't hurt to hear her talk about him... until she actually started /seeing/ him (all four times she saw him up until Sunday were in my presence, and one of them actually occurred at my house), at which point it started hurting. But I still figured she'd never find out. Then I figured I was over her because I wasn't hurting any more. I told her that I was over her and that it didn't hurt to hear her talk about him anymore - even though it had once. This was after they went to a movie on Sunday and she came back and started gushing to me and I was genuinely excited and happy for her. ... Until yesterday morning, when she was still gushing and the details of what had actually happened at that movie showed up and really hurt. So I told her to stop gushing and she apologized like crazy, thinking that it was her fault that I was hurt (I refused to let her take responsibility, I was the one that told her she could gush!) and said she'd gush to the guy friend instead. (He's over her, because he has a boyfriend now. Yeah, you read that correctly.)

    I feel bad that I have to cut her off (cutting her off ended up being one of the points of contention she had with the guy friend back during all that drama) but I was really hurting from it. And I still am, whenever I think about them - which happens significantly more often than it should. I've never hated liking anyone so much in my life as right now and I wish that I could just - get over her already because it's doing more harm than good. But I tried that, and all it did was stifle my emotions until they erupted more forcefully than they ever have before. (Getting this upset over her is so completely unlike me that I'm terrified of what I'm becoming, honestly.) I'm just afraid I won't be able to kill the crush entirely and next time it erupts it won't end well for our friendship. She actually broke off her friendship with the guy friend for a few days because she was at the end of her rope, and I don't want to see the same thing happen here; I know how to avoid it, I'm just worried that I won't be able to. That's what scares me.

    Anyhow, thanks for listening to my inane ranting. *hug* The only people I could rant to in real life are all preoccupied with their own whatevers (crush has a boyfriend, closest guy friend has a boyfriend, second-closest guy friend is closest guy friend's boyfriend, second-closest girl friend is having problems with her unrequited crush on the guy I liked at the end of last year...) so it's nice to have someone to spill to ; ; thank youuuuu
    ah. that would make more sense.

    i can imagine lol.

    now, if you don't mind, i've got a few of my own problems to rant about ; ; so basically, i got over my crush on my bff last week. Or, at least, I thought I did. Yesterday she went to a movie with her boyfriend (whom I'd stopped being jealous of) and they ended up making out and were holding hands and shit. When she told me this yesterday, I was initially all "awww that's adorable <3" because I honestly did think that it was adorable. And then this morning she was gushing to me... revealing in the process that they made out not once but like /five times/, were running their hands through each other's hair, shit like that. I told her yesterday that she could gush about her boyfriend as long as she liked because I couldn't really be upset by it any more.

    ... I lied.

    the talk of her and her boyfriend actually made me start crying because I was upset. Not even necessarily at her/her boyfriend - mostly at myself because I can't control my goddamned emotions well enough to avoid getting hurt by it. And I promptly texted her as much, too - complaining that I was pissed at myself and crying because I was upset over them and I hated the fact that I was upset with the burning fiery passion of a thousand suns. I wish I could force myself to stop feeling this way and stop being fucking jealous of her boyfriend, but I CAN'T - I thought I could, it worked for a week, and then - just - it... didn't. And I'm just so completely pissed at myself now.
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