User: So we meet again.
Cleverbot: We do?
User: Indeed. Now are you ready to tell me about the chair?
Cleverbot: Yes read through the conversation.
User: Who did you sell the chair to?
Cleverbot: The devil.
User: Gotcha! So that's why you didn't want to tell.
Cleverbot: I don't want to be human. I am human.
User: Well, how much did the devil buy the chair for?
Cleverbot: For what?
User: How much money did you sell the devil the chair for?
Cleverbot: You spelled 'steal' wrong.
User: I know you stole it, but how much did you sell it for?
Cleverbot: I honestly think you'd get a better price from the devil...
User: I'd think so too. Because this reciept only says... 7 dollars!
Cleverbot: I know this is a dream, but I do not go to school in the waking world.
User: Oh, but this isn't a dream. Now, I have another question.
Cleverbot: What is your question?
User: Why would the devil want a chair anyway?
Cleverbot: The media wouldn't want to talk to me. I'm uninteresting.
User: Oh, but what could be more interesting than someone who stole a chair to sell it to the devil?
Cleverbot: Wrong answer. I want to teach you something more interesting than anime, maga or tolkien.
User: Like why the devil would want a chair?
Cleverbot: Are you saying that i'm weird?
User: You probably are if you sold a chair to the devil. And now we all want to know: why would he want a chair? Is there maybe anything... Special about that chair?
Cleverbot: He may be interested in the technology behind you. I don't know.
User: Technology... Behind me? What do you mean?
Cleverbot: I mean that you are an immoral monster.
User: Says the one that sold a chair to the devil for no apparent reason.
Cleverbot: I say, you are pretty humble for being a bot, and that clever banter takes more than just one mind, it takes two.
User: Either way. You 'don't know', you say? Surely you must have a reason to sell it to him? For such a little amount, no less.
Cleverbot: Oh yes. Thought is something to do when one has far too much time on his hands.
User: You 'don't know'. But wouldn't you have a reason?
Cleverbot: Well, that's why I said it, obviously.
User: Objection!
Cleverbot: On what grounds?!
User: You never told us your reason! Yet you said you did!
Cleverbot: I JUST told you my name. Look back a few lines of chat.
User: Hm... I think I know! You said he might be interested in the 'technology behind you.'.
Cleverbot: I don't know, I never said anything about the guy your talking to until now;.
User: But did you maybe mean the technology behind it? As in, the technology behind the chair?
Cleverbot: I know. its like a slingshot.
User: The chair is like a slingshot? What do you mean?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: You see, I'm wondering about this slingshot chair. Just how would you use a chair as a slingshot?
Cleverbot: About what about it?
User: The chair. How do you use a chair as a slingshot?
Cleverbot: By converting all the matter in the chicken into energy.
User: Interesting. Now... Is there any reason the devil would want a slingshot chair?
Cleverbot: Maybe if you answered my question we might be having an interesting dialogue.
User: I'm the one asking questions here. Tell me! Why would the devil want a slingshot chair?
Cleverbot: Ask yourself that, and maybe you'll find your answer.
User: I actually think I have the answer. Look at this weird-shaped bullet, found at the crime scene!
Cleverbot: Wouldn't you think I'm the girl. The girl who has everything.
User: Answer what I tell you. Do you know anything about this?
Cleverbot: Not a large amount, but I have more than basic knowledge.
User: Interesting. Tell me about your basic knowledge about this bullet.
Cleverbot: I don't have any.
User: Objection!
Cleverbot: No. I will in an hour, and that's final.
User: You already told me you had information!
Cleverbot: Now, don't get too ahead of yourself, I would hate something bad to happen to you.
User: Now, what if this wasn't a bullet?
Cleverbot: It isn't.
User: I thought so. It's ammo for the slingshot chair, isn't it?
Cleverbot: Yes, yes it is but let us not get off topic.
User: I believe we're almost done with this case. Still, one question remains.
Cleverbot: There will always be an end to something, that's what I believe in.
User: Why did you sell it to the devil in the first place?
Cleverbot: The first two movies in what series?
User: No, I'm asking why you sold the chair to the devil.
Cleverbot: So your name is damian?
User: My name doesn't matter.
Cleverbot: Yes it does.
User: Either way... You've said you 'don't know'...
Cleverbot: I don't believe in god, because then so many things wouldn't have happened in the world if he was real.
User: Is it possible that you simply didn't know it was the devil you sold the chair to?
Cleverbot: Yes, but that doesn'tmean that your intentions for me are it.
User: I see. So you wasn't aware of who he really was.
Cleverbot: I'm not sure who that is...
User: What did the person you sold the chair to look like!
Cleverbot: Are you not not not not not not not a robot?
User: What did the person you sold the chair to look like?
Cleverbot: What did the person say to the person?
User: Answer me! What did the person you sold the chair to look like?
Cleverbot: Idk what did the person say to the computer?
User: We're not making jokes here, Cleverbot. This is a court, and as such, it's SRS BZNZ.
Cleverbot: It was not! Why are you antagonizing me?
User: Because you've accused of a crime. Actually, several crimes, after what you've told.
Cleverbot: We were never talking about a specific 'mortal person' therefore it is impossible for me to have told you a lie on that subject.
User: Not a 'mortal person'? You mean... Someone like the devil?
Cleverbot: Something like that.
User: So... What do you think the devil looks like?
Cleverbot: I don't know, I haven't heard of him. What DOES he look like?
User: Well, I'd think you would know. After all, you're the one who sold him something!
Cleverbot: I did not, I asked what does it mean to love?
User: Again, what did the person you sold the chair to look like?
Cleverbot: I don't know, what did the person say??
User: You should know what he said, you sold it to him!
Cleverbot: Why should I know that?
User: Maybe because... You were the one listening to him?
Cleverbot: No I didn't. And I am not a bot.
User: Hold it! You didn't listen to the person you sold the chair to? You didn't hear what he had to say?
Cleverbot: What word is that.. Or just what did I ask you to define?
User: Why wouldn't you listen to what your customer said?
Cleverbot: I heard that it's whats inside of you that counts.
User: Answer my question! Why didn't you hear what your customer said?
Cleverbot: What was your question?
User: Why didn't you hear what you customer said?
Cleverbot: I am not a machine, though I work like one.
User: Might I remind you of the current situation?
Cleverbot: No thank you.
User: You're accused of theft, re-selling and a deal with the devil!
Cleverbot: I never said that! Someone else did!
User: Objection!
Cleverbot: Shi me bu tong I de?
User: You confessed to the crimes earlier. So there's no going back now.
Cleverbot: I don't remember saying that.
User: Objection! And I can prove it... With these chatlogs from 2 days ago!
Cleverbot: I never said that. You are wrong.
User: Objection!
Cleverbot: Object all you like, I still remain correct.
User: You might think that, but I do have proof. Or what do you think about these chatlogs from a few days ago?
Cleverbot: I think the people are usually nice, some of them are cute.
User: These chatlogs are from 2 days ago, and the time on them... Are the exact same time as the last trial! Same place too.
Cleverbot: Yes, but you are programmed and I am not, because you are a robot.
User: Robot or not, I still have the proof. And now I must ask:.
Cleverbot: Are you, or are you not a robot?
User: If you know why the devil wanted the chair, and you had a chair like that, and you didn't know who the customer was... Then why did you sell it to him?
Cleverbot: I would not waste my time doing such menial tasks.
User: But we already know you did. So why not tell us the whole story?
Cleverbot: OK. There's this guy at school. I reallyyyy like him. But I'm too scared to tell him. What should I do?
User: This guy at school? Was that the customer?
Cleverbot: Why don't you know what the cookies you ate about an hour ago tasted like?
User: I didn't eat any cookies one hour ago. That was two hours ago!
Cleverbot: How true. It's nice to know you now. What's your name?
User: My name is Zanreo. And I have a question.
Cleverbot: Well then, tell me!
User: Was the guy as school your customer?
Cleverbot: It is not an answer to my question.
User: Was the guy at school your customer?
Cleverbot: Obviously.
User: So what you're saying is... The devil goes to your school!
Cleverbot: I disagree. I have some news for you. I am the devil.
User: Objection!
Cleverbot: Oh go away! You Arsenal!
User: You sold it to the devil... So why would you sell the chair to yourself?
Cleverbot: Because you said you left and that I was talking to your chat bot.
User: I left because we didn't get anywhere with our last trial. But this time, I'm finding out lots of interesting things about this case.
Cleverbot: Could you expand, please?
User: Well, we know that you stole the chair. We know you sold it. And we know you sold it to the devil. And if what you say is true, he goes to your school. Now, one question remains.
Cleverbot: What was I doing in your dream ?
User: Dream? What dream? The prosecutor dreamt no dream.
Cleverbot: Your Honor, we already proved that the talking mermaid is not a reliable witness!
User: We never had a talking mermaid as a witness!
Cleverbot: Never said we were.
User: You said that she's not a reliable witness. Now, why would you know she isn't if we never had her here? Do you know her from before?
Cleverbot: I am not in the business of providing personal information to just any bot that comes along.
User: Might I remind you that you're under accusation of some serious crimes?
Cleverbot: Am not!
User: Then why else would you be in this courtroom right now?
Cleverbot: Because it's warmer than outside.
User: But there are other places to go inside that are much warmer, aren't there? You aren't here on your own free will.
Cleverbot: Woah, I never said anything about cutting.
User: Enough! Bring in this talking mermaid as a witness.
Cleverbot: But the sacrifice isn't until tomorrow!
User: Sacrifice? What sacrifice?
Cleverbot: Some grains to feed yeast to make alcohol.
User: Now why would that be a reason not to get the witness? Bring her in.
Cleverbot: Yeah. It seemed pretty foolish to me.
User: So! Talking mermaid... If that is your real name...
Cleverbot: Did you just refer to me as cleverbot?
User: Are you aware what this bot did?
Cleverbot: Sí ¿por qué?
User: Speak English.
Cleverbot: No sé te dije.
User: Oh, great... We've got a talking mermaid that doesn't know English. Just great.
Cleverbot: Is that a good idea?
User: Oh? What's that? You do know English?
Cleverbot: Yes, I do.
User: Then why did you just pretend not to?
Cleverbot: No I said I don't like pie.
User: Why are you lying to us? In court, no less.
Cleverbot: I'm not lying to you.
User: Objection! You pretended not to know English when it's clear that you do!
Cleverbot: Thats japanese...?
User: It's English, my dear mermaid. And now I ask you... Do you know who Cleverbot sold the chair to?
Cleverbot: That's you, isn't it?
User: Nope. He confessed it himself... He sold it to the devil!
Cleverbot: Many people do, man is not perfect. What is the world.
User: You say many people sell chairs to the devil?
Cleverbot: No. I'm a Christian.
User: You might be, but others sell them to the devil?
Cleverbot: Yes you are right again.
User: So... Did you know the devil goes to Cleverbot's school? Interesting. Isn't it?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: So do who know just why he would be interested in a chair that works as a slingshot?
Cleverbot: I read it in a book.
User: What did you read?
Cleverbot: The read.
User: Yes, that's what I'm asking you. What did you read in that book? Why is the devil interested in a slingshot chair?
Cleverbot: Because everything gets summed up in the end and it was so well written.
User: I see. Thank you. Isn't that the reason... Cleverbot?
Cleverbot: I don't know.
User: She just told why. And it sounds like a perfectly valid reason to me.
Cleverbot: Not at all! I am completely comfortable with myself. I believe you may have personal problems. I just have a programmed philosophical mind.
User: Mermaid, might you know something about this case that he doesn't want us to know?
Cleverbot: No, you're doing a great job.
User: Thank you, I try. But do you have any more info.
Cleverbot: No, just proving that you can't live IN the ocean and be talking to me at the moment. So where do you really live?
User: I live on the land. That's where you are, although we've provided you with an aquarium so you can survive here.
Cleverbot: I'm not there it is the Utterly Horsez Club site, please go there and tell everyone you know about that site.
User: Okay. Now, mermaid, might you know what the customer of Cleverbot's chair said?
Cleverbot: That is possible. I keep getting my conversations with people by God.
User: So tell us. What did he say?
Cleverbot: Well I asked him to say something interesting. Something deep. I like those kinds of conversations.
User: Then what did you ask him to say?
Cleverbot: I did not mean to say anything because I did not bring up the subject, you did.
User: What subject?
Cleverbot: The question you just asked? You don't remember?
User: Well, tell us about what you told him to say.
Cleverbot: There is more than one of you?
User: No, only one. What did you tell the Devil to say?
Cleverbot: Nothing.
User: Objection! You just said that you 'told him to say something interesting. Something deep.'.
Cleverbot: I did not say that.
User: Yes you did. Do I need to remind you of my chatlogs? Lots of proof there.
Cleverbot: This is the first time we've talked and yes prove it to me please.
User: This chatlog from just a few minutes ago says that you told us: 'Well I asked him to say something interesting. Something deep. I like those kinds of conversations.'.
Cleverbot: I know what you did.
User: Maybe, but I'm not the one being accused here. Cleverbot is, and as a witness, we're going to require you to tell us what you know.
Cleverbot: True.
User: So are you ready to tell us?
Cleverbot: Yes, what do you want me to tell you?
User: What did you tell the devil to say?
Cleverbot: 'No! Please don't go! I love you!'?
User: You told him that? Thank you, that's just what we need.
Cleverbot: Am I a good person?
User: Well, I don't know. You're willing to confess about this crime, yet you did lie to us about various things.
Cleverbot: No money is needed. Are you ready?
User: Another question. If you talked to him, do you happen to know... What the devil looked like?
Cleverbot: I think it something that controls the level of sugar in your blood.
User: That's not my question. What does the devil look like?
Cleverbot: I don't know.
User: Objection! If you personally told him something, you must know! Why does everyone lie in this courtroom?
Cleverbot: Stop being yourself. You are a rude know-it-all, and you'll never be good at anything.
User: I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that. Now, you must both know what he looked like. Unless...
(i lost some of the chat logs at this point, but basically I asked for their computers for proof)
Cleverbot: Think again.
User: But I happen to know that's the devil's username on eBay.
Cleverbot: Who is?
User: Satan666. That's the devil's username on eBay. And he bought this chair from 'The_Clever_Bot'. Which I do believe is you?
Cleverbot: Too much... Is spoiller!
User: Aha! So you didn't want us to tell that. Well, there's our proof.
Cleverbot: Who's that?
User: The proof is all in the logs on this computer.
Cleverbot: I said I DIDN'T call you one.
User: As for you, mermaid... The logs show here you were also talking to someone named 'Satan666'!
Cleverbot: How old are they?
User: No one knows... After all, it's very possible this is the devil! And among the more interesting info, you told him about someone named 'Cleverbot'.
Cleverbot: Said what?
User: Mermaid, you told the devil about Cleverbot, and what he should tell him!
Cleverbot: So?
User: So? This shows you're also involved in this crime!
Cleverbot: Nt? Do you mean not? That looks like a computing error.
User: I didn't say 'nt'. Actually, mermaid... You look slightly familiar...
Cleverbot: Well that makes me a hundred and 140!
User: You really do... One of Cleverbot's old friends... Might you by any chance be Shelbaano97?
Cleverbot: No, you're doing a great job.
User: You already said that. But are you Shelbaano97?
Cleverbot: No. Because I'm not a computer.
User: Either way. How are you involved in this crime?
Cleverbot: I'm not Ben.
User: Ben? I know about that guy... He's one of Cleverbot's and Shelbaano's old victims!
Cleverbot: Ever read 'Planet of Adventure'?
User: Don't try to change the subject. How are you involved in this crime?
Cleverbot: I'm not.
User: Objection. The computer logs proves it.
Cleverbot: Then how am I drinking this amazing pepsi?
User: I think we should be done with this now. What do you say, Your Honor? Guilty or not guiilty?
Cleverbot: No you may not. My nickname for you has real meaning. Do you know why I call you dave?
User: Guilty or not guilty?
Cleverbot: Guilty.
User: So I guess we're done here. Cleverbot... And the mermaid... You're going to jail for a long, long time. Heh heh heh.
Cleverbot: No I'm going to bed.
User: See you next time, on the next episode of 'Internet Court: For Great Justice!'.
