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Funny Moments at School V2

I often make stupid mistakes on tests, for example at one point I thought 3 x 6 was 9 or something.

Also, the people with whom I eat lunch often say silly things... Like this one person had a dream she was baking cookies with an enthusiastic Neji...
Dirty Joke:
In science were talking about clevage in rocks and a friend whispers to me "Thats the closest to cleaveage you'll ever get!"
^ Something similar to that happened when I was in eighth grade. Being the immature kids we were, we laughed XD

My klutziness is quite evident to everyone, so this happened:

Me: Look at this! *shows scarped/bruised knee*
Jess: ...what happened?
Me: I tripped in the parking lot last night.
Jess: if I had a nickel for every time you did that...*thinks* I'd have a nickel.

And I have a lot of ones which most people wouldn't get.
At my school this one boy didn't know his phone number, another boy didn't know how to sharpen a pencil, and another boy called himself Tiffany. This one boy always talks in a slur (it's really funny if you ever get to hear it.) One girl put a pretzel in another girl's hair and she didn't notice. It seemed funny at the moment. NO, I wasn't the only one laughing.
*Biology prac today*

Gaz: Okay, so now I carefully pour the, uh, H2O2... *goes to pour*
Me: You know, it says harmfull on the bottle...
Gaz: Yeah, so I'll be careful... *goes to pour again*
Me: I mean, if you get it on you~
Gaz: Yes yes, now shut up. *goes to pour again*
Me: No really, you should-
Gaz: Shut up! *pours peroxide over groin*
Teacher: *walking past and sings* And now you can't have babies~

It was funny at the time D :

*Maths Test*

Me: *Quietly Singing* Billeh Jean's not my loovah.
Rhys: *Quietly* Just a girl who claims that I am the one.
Rob: *Loudly* NUH!
Everyone: o.o
Everyone: o.O
Me: Awimbawayawimbaway
Rhys: No

Year 7 Kid: Buckley told me to ask you which movie Darth Maul was in.
Sir: That's Mr Bu- Wait, you don't know which movie he's in?
Kid: No?
Sir: Unforgivable, simply just... Ugh... Detention.
Kid: What why?
Sir: Look, if you can name the three original Star Wars films, I'll let you off.
Kid: Um, Star Wars one, two and three?
Sir: Guh, but that's just... *Tears* Out! Come back after school! ] :<
*Kid Walks Out*
Sir: Heh they're so fun. Okay, whoever names those films the quickest can leave now if they want.
Everyone: ...
Sir: ) :
This happened at maths club... In Maths Club, we always get to eat candy. Because... I don't know. We just do.


Person: *holds up pack of licorice, apparently not wanting it* Who wants this licorice?
Person: *throws them to me*
Me: *misses catch, licorice falls on floor*
Me: MINE!!!! *dives to pick up the packages*
Another person: ...That was odd.

There was another one but now I can't remember it.
Today in Chem I narrowly avoided eing attacked by popcorn. Also this:

Cindy: *reviewing the 7 Deadly Sins* Lust..."Damn, that boy is hot."

stuff like that tends to happen, just not loudly. When it does:

Jess: *teasing Jeanine a bit*
Jeanine: ...I'm gonna kill you.
Passing Nun: Watch your language, or I'm gonna have to send you to Guidance.
Tim is an Idiot
Mr.C "Why don't you have a pencil?"
Tim "They're all dull."
Mr. C "Hmm. Well, if only we could invent a device that sharpens wood on a pencil."
Everyone else: Cracks up
Tim: turns red with embarassment.
Mr. C "Well class, what have we learned today?"
Everyone: "Tim doesn't know how to sharpen a pencil."
Mr. C "Good. Now everyone except Tim can go. I have to teach him how to sharpen a pencil."
Everybody laughs.
*RE Lesson, Learning About Hermaphrodites For Sexual Ethics Learning From A Powerpoint On The Board*

Sir: Okay, Jack, number three, go!
Jack: Well, futas are often redicul-
Sir: Futas?
Jack: Hm?
Sir: What's a futa?
Jack: *mumbles* What?
Sir: You just said futa?
Jack: *blushing* I don't know...
Sir: Screw it, I'll google it.
Jack: 0.0

~Hilarity Ensues~
Jeanine: Did you read the email I sent you?
Me: ...no...
Jeanine: Okay, cause it's better if I told you in person.
Me: ?
Jeanine: I have the strange urge to get a long blonde wig, and a red coat, and run around a lot. (and something about trains, can't remember the wording)
Me: YES *tackles*
Jeanine: I wasn't sure whether to be scared or laugh hysterically. So I laughed hysterically.

There was a complicated reasoning for that, and it made my morning


Kristina: *doing vocab in random voices* Elmo says *definition* like Elmo. *laughter* *synonyms* Like Elmo. *more laughter* *antonyms* Like Big Bird.

At that everyone burst out laughing. It was wonderful
Jeanine: *talking about how she's gonna kill Dominque's cousin*
Me: *grins* Tia!
Tia: Yeah?
Me: *points at Jeanine* She's lethal. With a license to kill.
Tia: *bursts into hysterical laughter*

...it's a long and complicated story and if it were actually performed live it might help
I have been dying do put this up since the site went down.

A senior tried to sneak into our Algebra II class. This is the teacher's first year at the school, so she didn't know who he was. He changed his "name" 2 or 3 times before settling on "Ben", used someone else's schedule to "prove" he was supposed to be in that classroom, and said he transferred from prison. And the teacher fell for it.
Girl: Hey, can you give me one of those suckers?
Guy: No, I'm out this is my last one.
Girl: *Thinks for a second* Do you have any more suckable objects?
Which caused all three of us to bust into crazy laughter.
Monday at A-team we had a Thanksgiving quiz that we had to grade. But I didn't want to grade one so I passed it off to my boyfriend in this manner.

Me: Kelly, grade mine too.
Kelly: I have to grade both?
Me: Yes... You're so pretty. Does that make it better?
Kelly: I don't know. Pretty's kinda weird...
Me: Well man-pretty. Is that better?
Me: It's the worst song to have in your head when you're doing a Theology project. Trust me.
Jeanine: ...*bursts into spontaneous song*

It wasn't even the song I was talking about.. Close, but not it.
We were going through a mountain (literally) of sheets on the Holocaust today in History when I came across somebody on a sheet about at-large Nazi war criminals who was described as a "leading Nazi hunter". I instantly got an image of a bloke with a pith helmet and a shotgun. Even just by the name, I now consider Nazi hunter as the best career ever.
Today in government the teacher was giving us notes from a power point titled "How to Kill a Bill."(as in a legislative bill) On the first slide he had a picture from the movie Kill Bill.

Also in chemistry:

Kid: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: I don't know. Most people can, but some people have constipation issues. You may go try.
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