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King of the Hill

I come up to you and tell you all the illogical things I have ever seen in video gaming, the lack of logic makes your head explode in cheers and confetti! My HILL!!!
 
I tell you all the things that have ever occurred in these forums, and the lack of real world logic makes your head explode in cheers and confetti! My HILL!
 
I kill you for eating my foam sword.
*cries in corner* I will always miss you... foam sword...

MAH HILL.
 
I come in with the Star Saber, which is ne of the most powerful weapons the Minicons can create, and as such it owns everything within a mile radius! New, therefore, my HILL!
 
I tell CharizardHammer that the whole world might be a figure of his imagination and if this is true he can't trust his own brain. By the way, there is no way to disprove this theory. He goes crazy from the thought and commits suicide.

TEH HILL IS MINE.
 
I somehow revive myself, find out that the hill is really a volcano and throw Frostagin in the lava.

IT IS MY VOLCANO
 
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I take out one of my many swords. Now you see me, now you don't.

Whoops, your head is gone.

By proxy, I daresay this mound of dirt is property of mine!
 
I decide I don't want to own a mound of dirt! So I go back in time to when I first captured the HILL and stop myself from doing so! This causes a HUGE time paradox, which Dialga promptly comes and fixes, which if Rise of Darkrai is anything to go by, he should be able to do! Unfortunately my awesome and mind screwing way of obtaining the HILL makes all your brains melt inside their skulls, which seeing as there is no one else around to claim it, automatically makes it my HILL! Mostly cuz I'm the last one standing...
 
As a giant silver wolf, I appear from the Ethereal Realm of which I used by means of escaping the paradox, and try to take a bite of you. You dodge successfully, but in doing so, fall of the HILL, as such rendering it MY HILL
 
I drag up a very big bag of balls and bones and sticks, and then lob them far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far away! You watch as they scatter litterally all over the place, and seeing as you're basically a dog, well... My HILL!
 
After having collected EVERY SINGLE ball, bone and stick in record time, I begin throwing them at you, one after the other in quick succession. You flee in incoming storm of canine distraction methods and I claim THE HILL AS MINE ONCE MORE
 
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