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    Of course I'm not forcing you to do anything if you don't want to, but seriously, what have you got to lose? Five seconds of your life?

Masturbation.

you are me?
stop stealing my identity.
deep down, most people in the world would probably prefer romance to sex. they're just too afraid to admit it because they think no-one else thinks the same way. that's my opinion, anyway.
 
Every now and then, really. But not too often. Just whenever I get the urge. It's kind of hard to now though, since people like to barge into my room without knocking a lot. And if I lock the door, they ask me why I locked the door. And obviously, it'd be kind of awkward to say: "LEAVE ME ALONE, I'M TRYING TO TOUCH MYSELF!"

I also don't really look at porn... most of it is imagination really. Or thinking of certain words that I find arousing.

So yeah.
 
Not much, really.
Like... definitely not more than 5 times a month due to the fact that it doesn't work for me. =/
 
It's kind of hard to now though, since people like to barge into my room without knocking a lot. And if I lock the door, they ask me why I locked the door.

Just say because you want some peace and quiet. or because you are tired of people barging in on you, So you're making them ask first.
 
Just say because you want some peace and quiet. or because you are tired of people barging in on you, So you're making them ask first.
The bathroom is also a good place to go if you need privacy. Not only is there a lock on the door, but you have a veritable alibi to explain why you're taking so long!
 
I'd like to change my answer to "Not enough".

It used to not be a problem until my brother and his wife moved in and sleep in the room right next to mine. This also wouldn't be a problem if I weren't lame and impatient enough to not have to rely on...well, let's just call it the best birthday gift ever.

I mean, my household is open-minded enough to not care that I am in possession of such a device, but Jesus, that would be embarrassing. Plus, my stepmom would probably never let me live it down.
 
Masturbating is for the Mainstream Sheep. (Bah)

For me, I self-bond. That's some hard core stuff right there. All those whips and chains and ropes hanging from the closet hanger-holder-thingy. Anyways I have make sure I have enough time, because it takes quite alot of time for me to untangle myself.

Ebay's a lifesaver.

Edit: I self-bond everyday because I have a zest for Sadmasochism, thank-you very much.
 
I am a pretty satisfied mainstream sheep. baaaaa. ahhh.

at least once a day on normal days (99% of the time)
usually twice
sometimes more
just depends on how much free time I have to waste and who's home.
 
How do I wank? Is there more than one way of doing it? I just know "step 1, step 2 and repeat" but wtvr.

What I wank to? Idk porn?

How often? Depends on my sexual activity, sometimes once a day (I think I've never done it more than once on the same day), other times months go by without any.
 
Masturbating is for the Mainstream Sheep. (Bah)

shut the fuck up about your crusade against MAINSTREAM SYSTEM GOV'MENT BLAH BLAH

just because something is done by many people does not somehow make it bad

otherwise i suggest you stop eating sleeping reading going to school and all those mainstream sheep things that everyone does
 
I hope so, but that's not the first case of talking in extremes like that, which is also why it touched my doucheometer off so fast.
 
I think e was kidding, Vyraura.
Possibly, but from what I've been able to tell so far, Koala929 is very, very proud of being into bondage and would love for everyone to know about it, so that they can gape in awe before him and his special ways.

Just a guess, you know. I don't like jumping to conclusions, but some people have personalities so... striking that you get the feeling you've met them several times before. I mean, look at that post.
 
Seeing as how his favourite sentence is apparently 'mainstream sheep' it was probably intended to be true, since only retards say it unironically.
Oh wait he has an IQ of 150 oh shiii
 
Masturbating is for the Mainstream Sheep. (Bah)

For me, I self-bond. That's some hard core stuff right there.
Wiki page on masturbation said:
Various fetishes and paraphilias can also play a part in the masturbation ritual. Some potentially harmful or fatal activities include autoerotic asphyxiation and self-bondage.
sorry, old chap, looks like you're a mainstream sheep. ):
 
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