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Misreadings and stuff

"files" as "flies" and "depictions" as "descriptions". The last one is particularly sad, because I was writing it.
 
"making a pilgrimage" (referring to hajj) as "making out"....Um, yeah...I also read "make one for you" as "make out with you". Darn brain why you do this to me?!
 
I think this qualifies as a "and stuff"

Text conversation with my best friend.

Friend: Blarg so stressed. Why does meeting a girls parents always have to be terrifying
Me: You have a girl?
Friend: Possibly depends on how tomorrow goes.
Me: cool
Friend: Kinda. Kinda terrifying too.
Me: Dad have a shot gun?
Friend: No clue.
Me: Hmmm wear a vest just in case.
Friend: What if he shoots me in the head?
Me: Learn to duck faster.
Friend: Like Neo?
Me: You can't bend that far back... if I throw a penny nearby you might move fast enough.
Friend: Yeah. I hope I can hear it over the soudn of the gun cocking.
Me: You would. You're trained for it. It's in your blood. A sure way to make sure you don't get shot is to scream "I'm gay" when he points it at you.
Me: Totally didn't mean that that way. Don't.
Friend: Except he might shoot me for that.
Friend: ... Yeah I'll stick with the dodging idea.
 
^ Haha.

My misreading of the day.

"Phantom" as "Leafblower".

I am officially dyslexic in my books. I mean HONESTLY. WTF?
 
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