Flora
local hellion
- Pronoun
- they/he/it/neos
Me: *shares nachos*
Jeanine: I love you~
Me: I know~
Jeanine: *unrelated note* You need to learn to say no!
Jeanine: ...and if you say no to that last statement it doesn't count.
Welcome to The Cave of Dragonflies forums, where the smallest bugs live alongside the strongest dragons.
Guests are not able to post messages or even read certain areas of the forums. Now, that's boring, don't you think? Registration, on the other hand, is simple, completely free of charge, and does not require you to give out any personal information at all. As soon as you register, you can take part in some of the happy fun things at the forums such as posting messages, voting in polls, sending private messages to people and being told that this is where we drink tea and eat cod.
Of course I'm not forcing you to do anything if you don't want to, but seriously, what have you got to lose? Five seconds of your life?
Me: *shares nachos*
Jeanine: I love you~
Me: I know~
Jeanine: *unrelated note* You need to learn to say no!
Jeanine: ...and if you say no to that last statement it doesn't count.
Math teacher said:Well, I'm not really good at maths, but...
Science class. 8D said:Teacher: Right, so with some animals you can instantly tell if it's a guy or a girl. Like humans, since most girls have girl hair and most boys do not have girl hair.
*shows a picture of two beagles*
Student: How is this obvious? The beagles look the same.
Teacher: Well, if you look closely, the girl beagle is slightly lighter in color, and--
Student: They still really look the same. In all ways.
*cue my science teacher is awesome*
Teacher: *points* See, that.
Student: Yes.
Teacher: That is obviously a beagle's penis.
Student: OHHHHH. I SEE NOW.
History teacher: Stop talking while I draw machine guns.
Me: *singing*
Jeanine: *listening*
Nique: *comes up and starts talking because she's oblivious as hell*
Jeanine: *shuts Nique up for obvious reasons*
DJ: Hey, why don't we throw Josh at it?
Everyone: That's actually a good idea.
DM: Okay, what's your strength?
DJ: Eighteen.
DM: You pick him up and throw him into the room. He hits the stone altar and rolls down onto the floor. The figure doesn't move.
Chris: I sneak down the hallway, go behind it, and try to stab it in the back with my dagger.
DM: *rolls dice* You successfully do so. It's a statue with ruby eyes. Now we roll to see if your dagger breaks.
*dice rolling*
DM: It does. Also, now Josh wakes up.
Josh: Ohhh, my head *rubs head*
Chris: I choose to fart* on the altar like last time.
DM: There's nothing there.
*thieves fart all over the room*
Thieves: OK, there's nothing here.
Me: What are you doing? You didn't fart on the statue!
Thieves: There wasn't anything in the statue in the other room!
Me: So? There was something in the altar in the other room!
Chris: I'll fart on the statue.
DM: You find a small crack that looks out of place.
Everyone: OwO
Chris: I will open the statue.
DM: You open the statue, and see the blade of a sword inside of a secret chamber.
*DJ and I hi-five*
David: Are any of you going to grab it?
Everyone: It's probably cursed.
David: Fine, I'll grab it.
DM: It's a scimitar wrapped in deerskin.
David: I unwrap the deerskin.
DM: It's in a green sheathe. Also, as you unwrap the deerskin, a strange, twisted stick falls out.
Garrett: I pick up the stick.
David: Also, I am changing my name to Brass Balls.
DM: By the way, who has the highest strength?
DJ: *raises hand*
DM: And who has the most HP?
DJ: *raises hand* I'm choosing to pick up the short sword, by the way.
DM: *laughs*
Everyone: It's cursed.
DM: Come with me. *talks to DJ for two seconds in another room*
DJ: AWW.
DM: Roll a saving throw.
Josh: Let's see... I'm gonna run towards the party.
DM: He chases after you.
David: I draw the scimitar that I got earlier.
DM: As you draw the scimitar, you notice that it glows with a blue light, and it lights up the room.
David: It's of elven make.
DM: *rolls dice* He's coming at you now.
David: ...OH GOD.
DM: You notice some smoke coming out from under the door.
Everyone: Oh shi-
DM: You open the door, and there's a dragon on the other side. It's sleeping. So, what level are you all again?
Everyone: ...2.
Thief: I will open the sarcophagus.
DM: You try to open it, but a needle comes out and pricks you in the nose.
Garrett: So, one of us holds open the door, and I open it from outside the room. We close it as I do so so that the curse doesn't affect us!
Me: Okay, I'll hold open the door.
DM: Wait, so everyone go to the door over there and show me exactly where you are. I want to have this picture in my mind.
Everyone: *poses*
Garrett: Okay, so I raise my branch and yell "BLAST!"
DM: Seven Magic Missles come flying out and hit the coffin.
Me: I'm closing the door right now.
DM: You close the door, and you here a tremendous noise, and see smoke coming from under the door. *rolls 15D6* That's how much damage you would've taken if you were in the room.
Me: I open the door back up.
DM: DJ, you see something in the distance. It's running towards you.
DJ: Let's all stop until we can see it better.
DM: You wait a minute, and you see that it is a man. Also, he's naked.
Everyone: It's Josh**.
DM: His eyes are blood red.
Everyone: He's an Iratu now.
DM: The Pretoria (the NPC who got the good sword) attacks him. *rolls a bunch of dice* That plus some other stuff... OK, so, the Pretoria cuts him in half.
I looked at the screen, and it came back on a few seconds later. Nothing had changed.Me: *looks at hand* "ooh that was cool..." *looks back to find everyone around her desk starting at me in silence* "What?"
Teacher: *kind of confused voice* "...You turned my computer off..."
*taking an Environmental Science exam*
*someone goes up and puts their test on the front desk*
Half the class: ...OH, we can put them there?
*ENTIRE BACK ROW places their finished exams on front desk. a total of one front row person has finished as well*
Me: ...whut
In Spanish 1...
Albert: Devyn, go back to your desk.
Devyn: Okay, here, I'll shake your hand. And then I'll rip out your eyes :)
Albert: What?
Devyn: Nothing.
Jeanine: *saying something about environmental and suddenly says something in Japanese*
Me: ...what the hell
Jeanine: I just felt like saying cicada in Japanese...I read too much manga okay
Geometry Teacher said:Your sex grade teacher would have taught you this, but...
*everyone is laughing*
What did I say?
*student answers*
*laughs* It's worse when the teacher didn't even know what they're saying!
Me* sitting down net to a couple friends*
Ricky: *comes over and starts hugging everyone, because he's Ricky and that's what he does*
Me: Hey, where's my hug?
Ricky: *comes over to me, bends down to hug me and awkwardly falls on top of me*
Me: ...Ricky, I have a boyfriend.
Ricky: Oh, yeah, I forgot.
Ricky: *runs over to tackle-glomp me and almost tackles me to the ground*
During Maths
Elle: That's racist~
My Chemistry teacher just jumps through door into the room.
Chem Teacher: ON THE TOPIC OF RACISM!
Elle: The hell're you doing he-? O.O
Chem Teacher: SO YOU KNOW THAT STORY I TELL IN ORDER TO ILLUSTRATE THE REACTIVITY SERIES?
Elle: No really, why are-
Chem Teacher: WELL I DO THAT BOXERY VOICE, YOU KNOW, LIKE, 'Uh, hey baby!' AND SOMEONE WAS ALL 'Dude that's a black voice. Stop doing a black voice." AND I WAS ALL 'I'M JUST TRYING TO DO A COOL AMERICAN VOICE DUDE.'
Elle: Sir, sir, sto-
Chem Teacher: SO NOW I NEED A NEW VOICE IN ORDER TO PROPERLY TEACH THE KIDS ABOUT COPPER!
Elle: I-
Chem Teacher: IT NEEDS TO BE A BOXER'S VOICE, ALSO!
Elle: ...How about Stalo-
Math Teacher: Steve, what the hell are you doing here? o.O
Oh yeah, the math building is literally as far away from the science building that you can get while still in school grounds.
Kid's sent into the class.
RE teacher finds out why that it's because he's been generally homophobic.
Spends the rest of the lesson talking about, in his own words, his 'faggiest weekend ever'.
Han: Is this the real life?
Meg: Is this just fantasy?
Jaime starts doing interpretive dance, while the other two sing.
It draws a crowd of about 50 year 12s, who just sort of sneak around the corner to watch.
Maths doing a past paper.
Josh finishes the first question first.
Josh: Heh. 69.
Josh being sexist.
Rhys: you know, if this were a Disney movie, I'd, like, leap up onto the table here.
Rhys jumps onto the table.
Rhys: I'd start singing and dancing, right about now...
Rhys starts lapdancing Josh.
Rhys: Someone would probably throw me something to use...
A random year 12 throws him her scarf which Rhys quickly incorporates into his act.
Rhys: And my song would be, like, Hakuna Matata so everyone would agree with me.
Rhys climbs off and sits down.
Rhys: Your's would be boring, like once upon a dream or something.
Josh: ...What the fuck just happened?
...
Rhys: Wait, did I just do that?
Stink rhymes with skunk! Ohohohohoho!
DM: You see two people tied together on the floor. One is a man and one is a woman.
Me: Must be into heavy bondage.
Jeanine: If we didn't care about you, we'd have just given up! ...I gave up on Ryan (aka my boyfriend) a long time ago.
Jeanine: And plus we'd avoid you. Like Mike! I avoid him like the plague.
Music Teacher: *doing vocal warmups*
Jess: Hey, can we do massages today? Cause Jeanine is really good at it.
Music Teacher: *a few minutes later* And by request, turn around and massage the person next to you!
Me: Hey, Jess is right, Jeanine, you are really good at this!
Jeanine: ...yeah, I'm weird...