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TAILSY: THE NEW SORTING HAT

Tailsy

if the nineth lion ate the sun.
Pronoun
she
WELCOME TO HOGWARTS!
I'M THE SORTING HAT AND I
AM WRITING HAIKU.*

SCREW YOU I CAN'T DO
A WHOLE SONG FOR THIS DUMB THREAD.
THIS IS YOUR PRIZE, KAY??

GRYFFINDOR, RARGH,
SLYTHERIN, HISS SPIT,
RAVENCLAW, SQUAWK... ERY,
HUFFLEPUFF... MUSHROOM.

FUCK YOU. JUST POST IN
THIS THREAD AND I'LL SORT YOU IN.
HOGWARTS IS COOL, YEAH.

For example:

Tailsy is Hufflepuff
opaltiger is Ravenclaw
Xikaze is Gryffindor
Harlequin is Slytherin.

*not all verses may be in haiku
 
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Um... post?

I would say here what my favourite and least favourite houses are here but based on past experiences, people seem to like to put me in one I don't like to annoy me :D
 
NWT: Congratulations, you were sorted into HUFFLEPUFF! I blame the unfortunate accident that occured during your childhood.

Rasrap Smurf: (THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I WOULD DO) Congratulations on being sorted into GRYFFINDOR! Be careful to go for regular blood tests, I heard bravery can raise your cholesterol.
 
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Yeah. Me please, Miss Tailzee.

As Rasrap Smurf said, I'd inform you of my favourite, but... yeah.
 
Harlequin: *sigh* Because your destiny is to be The Bad Guy. Duh.

Zora of Termina: Congratulations, you were sorted into RAVENCLAW! I don't think you suit bronze very well, though. I'd be careful about wearing that house scarf.

Zephyrous Castform: Well would you look at that, you were sorted into GRYFFINDOR! I hope you weren't trying to influence my decision...

Blastoise: The Sorting Hat might have just restricted your breathing due to your small circumference of your head, but it managed to sort you into RAVENCLAW anyway! Are you sure you're all right, you look a little blue... ha ha, get it?

Ice the Frosty Cat: WRRROOOONG!! Hat says GRYFFINDOR! For some reason, nobody sees that one coming. Modest gits.
 
Verne: Oh bby~ seems like you were sorted into RAVENCLAW! Like to use some of that wit on me~?

Grimdour: Sorting Hat says you're definitely a SLYTHERIN! Make sure to floss those fangs of yours to keep 'em nice and threatening.
 
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