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Things you believed as a kid?

Here you can post various weird childhood beliefs you had.

I believed:
- Mice were just baby rats
- If you didn't go outside every day, you would die. However, just poking your head out the window for a few seconds was enough.
- I could inflate my hand by "blowing into" my thumb... I saw it in a comic once. I once tried and was convinced my hand had grown a tiny bit.
- You could plant candy and all sorts of things in the garden, and a tree with that thing would grow.

So, your turn.
 
That I was the only person in the world who didn't believe in God.

That my mom knew everything (I remember arguing this to my brother, using as supporting evidence the fact that once I'd asked her what was on TV and she'd said Thomas and Tim, and it was Thomas and Tim).

That I would die a virgin because sex was gross.

That "METAPOD's DEFENSE rose!" was a metaphor about the growth of roses, because I didn't know 'rose' was also the past tense of 'rise'.

That "You're light years from beating BROCK!" was a reference to how you're too young to be any good as a trainer. (I would have gotten this if it had been written in one word as "lightyears".)
 
I believed I could fly
I believed I could touch the sky
I thought about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away

I blame Space Jam.
 
I believed that algebra worked like this:
a=1
b=2
c=3
d=4
e=5... and so on.

Moreover, that meant that 2a would be 2, 2b would be 4, 2c would be 6... yeah, I thought I had it in the bag. I wish it really was like that. >:(
 
Fun fact: When my (religious) mom told me that Santa Claus wasn't real, I almost asked if Jesus wasn't, too.

Uh, I thought for a bit that reality was just a dream and I'd wake up at some point. Kind of the Matrix, except not really.

I thought that, in Crystal, Quagsire was a legendary because it fled like Suicune.

Also babies were made by the power of love!
 
(Sometimes) they are.

Pfft. I mean more in the sense that the amount of love to make a baby is was a type of thing to be collected and totally involuntary. Like, you need 177000 love points to make a baby, 9800 just won't cut it. If that makes any sense.
 
Pfft. I mean more in the sense that the amount of love to make a baby is was a type of thing to be collected and totally involuntary. Like, you need 177000 love points to make a baby, 9800 just won't cut it. If that makes any sense.

Kinda what I thought.

I can't really remember anything too interesting. Once I had a theory that if you ripped a dollar bill 4 quarters would come out, but I disproved that one fairly quickly.
 
I vehemently believed that if you filled a cow with chocolate syrup, the white patches on it would would turn brown when shaken and the cow would produce chocolate milk. My teacher thought this was ADORABLE and did not correct me when I began telling everyone within earshot at her behest.

Also Santa, yeah. I additionally thought that testicles were eggs or something.
 
Haha, I caught my mom with the Santa thing when I started to question my mom as to why Santa used the same wrapping paper. I also thought that airplanes were Rudolph.

That if you swallow a seed, like apple or watermelon, the plant will grow inside you.

Once when I was really really little my parents were having guests over and I proudly walked in front of the group and announced that I now knew what sex was. Of course everyone laughed and asked what it was... I then began to proudly explain it was when two people get in bed and hug each other a lot.
 
I've said this before, but I'm still sorting the fact from the messed-up fiction my father thought it would be hilarious to fill my sister and I with when we were little.

If I had money for every time I've been halfway through explaining something like how your head hair is fibres from your spinal cord being pushed upwards through your skull before I realise how stupid it sounds aloud, I'd be quite a bit richer than I am now.
 
This is really stupid, but I will say it anyway.

I believed I was an alien, a fairy alien that somehow crash landed on earth for some reason. And one night, I believed if I made my own hot air balloon, I would end up flying to my true home, where I would properly fit in. I made my own out of a cardboard box and a plastic bag, waiting for hours to be sent 'home'.

I also believed that I could fly if I tried hard enough. I jumped off my dad's car trying to do that and sprained my ankle.

And finally, I believed that I could read minds, and people were thinking nasty things about me. :(
 
That the stuff in TV came from the antenna.

And that I could evolve wings by jumping from things a lot.

Sometimes I thought I was dreaming and tried to wake myslef up.
 
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