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I fought the school because it was the most logical thing to do at the moment.

I ate a book because I was drunk.

Alternatively:
I AM AWESOME BECAUSE I AM AWESOME. :D
 
I tortured a carrot because it was just a dream.

LOL

Apparently, I have a hidden desire to torment carrots, which comes out naturally as I'm asleep. Hope I don't start sleepwalking, we might have carrot fragments all over the house.
 
I kicked a Gamecube because I wanted money.

Because everyone wants to get money from a Gamecube!
 
I hugged Sonic because I was controlled by an evil monster.
Or
I hugged Sonic because bunny-patterned monkeys are dancing on my head.

I am wearing a two-colored shirt. It is blue and red.
 
I tourtured a sheet of paper because bunny patterned monkeys are dancing on my head.
 
I killed the school because it was the most logical thing to do at the moment >:)
 
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