- Pronoun
- she/her
Best advice when you have a crush: just spit it out. I silently crushed on Shadey for aaaages and it took him taking the initiative in suggesting we go home to my place before I was convinced enough he liked me to tell him. If the unending love and proclamations of his cuddliness over the last four years hasn't clued you in, I'm very, very glad I did so. Take the chance! If they don't like you back, it's not as if you would've been any better off not saying anything and never knowing.
(...although if you crush on somebody who doesn't really know you, take the time to get to know them first. You can hardly expect them to like you if they don't have any basis on which to do so.)
Oh, also? Some general established relationship advice. Feel free to disagree, as this is all just my personal observations and thoughts, but.
I firmly believe that the key to a good relationship is honesty. If you're going to spend the rest of your life with someone, it's a must that you can feel completely at ease just being yourself in their presence; having to put on a persona around your significant other is just going to be suffocating before long. This includes being able to freely talk about anything you feel the need to talk about, including problems you have with one another, and trusting them to understand.
Obviously, this has to go both ways: they also need to be able to trust you to understand. Be sympathetic, tolerant and open-minded towards each other. Be able to argue when you disagree without tempers flaring. (Not arguing at all is usually not a good thing - unless you've somehow found your exact duplicate in opinions, that's because you're bottling up your disagreements, which falls under putting on a persona. However, your significant other making you truly distraught should be a very, very rare occurrence; if you genuinely hurt each other on a regular basis, either get out of the relationship or have a very serious discussion about why this is happening and how you can change to accommodate one another. Do not brush that off with "couples argue all the time"; they do, but it's very emphatically not that kind of arguing if it's a healthy relationship.)
If anything they do makes you uncomfortable, talk about it; also look within yourself and be sure that if anything you do makes them uncomfortable, they can talk to you about it. Never react with hostility when they are honest with you, even if you're upset by what they tell you; you can tell them you're upset, but always, always appreciate that they chose to come forth and be honest, because punishing them for being honest only encourages dishonesty. Trust is to know you can be honest with somebody and they can be honest with you in return, not to simply have blind faith that they would never do/think/want anything worth being dishonest about. People don't work that way; if you think your significant other is a perfect angel incapable of doing any wrong, you're only setting yourself up to be disappointed.
If you can feel completely comfortable with one another, you don't even need to have that much in common to be able to just have a great time with them and enjoy their presence in general, and that's what makes for a lasting, loving relationship.
(...although if you crush on somebody who doesn't really know you, take the time to get to know them first. You can hardly expect them to like you if they don't have any basis on which to do so.)
Oh, also? Some general established relationship advice. Feel free to disagree, as this is all just my personal observations and thoughts, but.
I firmly believe that the key to a good relationship is honesty. If you're going to spend the rest of your life with someone, it's a must that you can feel completely at ease just being yourself in their presence; having to put on a persona around your significant other is just going to be suffocating before long. This includes being able to freely talk about anything you feel the need to talk about, including problems you have with one another, and trusting them to understand.
Obviously, this has to go both ways: they also need to be able to trust you to understand. Be sympathetic, tolerant and open-minded towards each other. Be able to argue when you disagree without tempers flaring. (Not arguing at all is usually not a good thing - unless you've somehow found your exact duplicate in opinions, that's because you're bottling up your disagreements, which falls under putting on a persona. However, your significant other making you truly distraught should be a very, very rare occurrence; if you genuinely hurt each other on a regular basis, either get out of the relationship or have a very serious discussion about why this is happening and how you can change to accommodate one another. Do not brush that off with "couples argue all the time"; they do, but it's very emphatically not that kind of arguing if it's a healthy relationship.)
If anything they do makes you uncomfortable, talk about it; also look within yourself and be sure that if anything you do makes them uncomfortable, they can talk to you about it. Never react with hostility when they are honest with you, even if you're upset by what they tell you; you can tell them you're upset, but always, always appreciate that they chose to come forth and be honest, because punishing them for being honest only encourages dishonesty. Trust is to know you can be honest with somebody and they can be honest with you in return, not to simply have blind faith that they would never do/think/want anything worth being dishonest about. People don't work that way; if you think your significant other is a perfect angel incapable of doing any wrong, you're only setting yourself up to be disappointed.
If you can feel completely comfortable with one another, you don't even need to have that much in common to be able to just have a great time with them and enjoy their presence in general, and that's what makes for a lasting, loving relationship.
