The Battle for Asber

[The Omskivar]

Um wat. Failure of your trainers to command you? As far as I'm concerned all Pokemon have their orders.

Also way to avoid my question. Too embarrassed to admit you were bested somehow?

 

[Superbird]

Look, Mewtwo, just go back and play with Blaine or something. I don't care, just get out of here. You're really not helping anything.

 

[allitersonance]

I am certainly aiding my side more than you are helping yours.

But I certainly do intend to leave as soon as I am finished here.

And you, human, the... vespiquen's trainer, though I see that she was not your slave for long before this battle. Do you not see how your comments are utterly insignificant? I have humoured you until a more interesting event occurred. But you are so often wrong about so many things that it is uninteresting to play with words between playing with your minds. You humans often equate disinterest with loss, but you would be much wiser if you realised this is not so.

Nevertheless, I will clarify one point. You trainers merely are unable to command these pokémon to take actions that will make a difference.

But then, that is no surprise, wouldn't you agree?

 

[Barubu]

Mewtwo, quit being so grumpy. Just because Mew barely has to lift a finger to kick your butt, doesn't mean that you have to pick fights with people who it will be a little harder for. Then again, your butt will be equally kicked by the end of this.

 

[1. Luftballon]

if trainers' commands would actually make a difference, I would be quite disappointed.

incidentally, I need a zeppelin!

 

[The Omskivar]

I don't see how we equate disinterest with loss. Maybe loss of interest but that's sort of the definition of disinterest. I wonder if I could bother you to clarify that point as well.

And yeah comments on anything about anything are in general insignificant, if you look at things from the point of view of an eternal mind. I mean existence itself is insignificant as far as short-lived humans are concerned. Connections with others are insignificant, aesthetics are insignificant, music, art, laughter, it's all mundane and more of us realize that than you know. But what are we supposed to do with our existence then? What would you suggest I do, rather than comment? It's just another pointless way to trigger pointless emotional chemicals in the pointless mind.

Are you suggesting that you have a purpose? That your mind alone holds some higher significance and has a role to play in a grand scheme of things?

 

[allitersonance]

What you humans never seem to realise is that, while Mew was first, I was created from it with improvements. Outside the constraints of this foolish game, I am vastly more powerful than Mew. My mental prowess is, though less varied, much greater. If we were to clash with our wills alone, I would come out victorious.

It is somewhat odd to me, I admit. After all, this is how your technology evolves, is it not? You make modifications and improvements to what comes before. Perhaps it is an ideal passed down to you by gods more ancient than I - which is a shame, truly. Where it is not used to cross me, it is the one human trait I can appreciate.

It is just as well that you do not understand. It means that there is no loss to the world when you die, not even amongst the rest of the humans.

 

[Negrek]

Round One - Act Three​

Fisher flaps his wings desperately, battering Darkrai about the head and shoulders in the process. With one great surge of effort, he manages to tear himself from the legend's grasp, and before Darkrai can catch at him again, he's away, shooting straight up at top speed. Darkrai redoubles its muttering and shakes blood from its claws, flexing aching fingers. Abruptly its moment of relaxation is brought to an end as Fisher comes hurtling back down out of the blue, slamming into Darkrai and raking with his talons as he shoots past. The legend is left reeling and disoriented, now actually growling as it tries to figure out what hit it and where it's gone off to. Catching sight of Fisher far below, wings flared as he breaks out of his dive, the legend snarls and shoots downward, claws at the ready.

Leo moves to follow, but above, Mewtwo is preparing a nasty surprise for the gallade. A ball of crackling darkness grows in the legend's fist, and it pitches the shadow ball at Leo with practiced precision. The attack strikes Leo in the back, turning his psychic glide into a tailspin, and Darkrai easily pulls away. The nightmare legend swoops down on Fisher as the aerodactyl is still recovering from his dive, bringing shadow-blooming claws slicing down at Fisher's face. The aerodactyl jerks his head aside, and the attack misses his eyes, but the shadow claw nevertheless tears into the bony crests atop his head, and blood starts to trickle into the prehistoric pokémon's face. Fisher tries to blink it out of his eyes as he puts on a bit of acceleration and sweeps away from Darkrai again, but it just keeps coming; no doubt he'll be finding it difficult to see clearly for a while.

Leo rights himself and once more angles down towards Darkrai, but this puts him on a collision course with Giratina. The legend's claw-tipped tentacles snake out as the gallade flies past, ghost energy blossoms around their tips as the dragon tries to snag Leo. The gallade manages to push through the shadow claw, but not without sustaining numerous long gouges down his back and sides. Mawile, miraculously, has managed to avoid damage almost entirely. Leo dives down atop Darkrai, fist drawn back and glowing amber, and plants another drain punch solidly between the legend's shoulder blades. This time he can properly appreciate the rush of vitality that accompanies his theft of Darkrai's health, and a few of the shallower rents left by Giratina's shadow claw heal over.

Meanwhile, inside the dragon's stomach, Buzzcomb is feeling increasingly put upon. Meta is still too distraught to try transforming, and its ranting is now accompanied by bitter, hopeless struggles. Pseudopods hardened into sharp little fists batter at the walls of Giratina's stomach, but in Meta's blind flailing, they find home in Buzzcomb's carapace as well. The vespiquen makes her displeasure loudly known, but Meta isn't listening; he exhausts all his frustration on the darkness then lies in a quivering, panting pile of goo. When Buzzcomb's sure he won't make himself more of a bother, she unleashes another wave of kamikaze workers, which briefly irritate Giratina but otherwise have little effect but to fill more of the dragon's stomach with dead bees.

Aloof from the fracas, Monopole has a decision to make. It needs to use telekinesis on one of the legends, but which one is entirely up to it. The metagross' optical sensors rove from legend to legend, considering; at last the metagross settles on Darkrai, which is the legend that's taken the most abuse thus far and against which the metagross has a personal grudge, after the way it casually thwarted its initial directive to protect Meta.

Darkrai, which had been floating back up towards the center of the battlefield, slams to a halt as Monopole's psychic power grips it, holding it resolutely in place despite all its struggles. Darkrai's hissing curses fill the air as it rages against its apparent distinction as the best target for all the Asberian's attacks.

The legend's irritation is nothing next to Fisher's despair, however; flying half-blind, the aerodactyl can't hope to evade a draco meteor that comes shooting across the battlefield and is instead swatted out of its way, tumbling aside in a haze of dragonfire as the blazing projectile continues its charge towards ASB Central below.

Team Legend
Safeguard in play: 4 more actions

Kratos Aurion (O)

Giratina (X) <Levitate>
Health: 982
Energy: 992
Used: Shadow Claw @ Leo
- Irritated with its stomach contents. Taunted (1 more action).

Pathos (O)

Darkrai (X) <Bad Dreams>
Health: 948
Energy: 987
Used: Shadow Claw @ Fisher
- Annoyed with Leo. Taunted (1 more action). Under the effects of telekinesis (3 more actions).

Kusarigamaitachi (O)

Health: 1000
Energy: 991
Used: Shadow Ball @ Leo
- Smug.

Team Asber
Safeguard in play: 3 more actions

The Omskivar (O)

Buzzcomb (F) <Pressure> @ Expert Belt
Health: 93%
Energy: 91%
Used: Attack Order @ Giratina
- Meta, what are you doing? Three actions to suffocation KO.

Superbird (O)

Meta (X) <Limber>
Health: 91%
Energy: 96%
Used: Struggle
- Struggling madly. Four actions to suffocation KO.

Grass King (O)

Monopole (X) <Clear Body> @ Leftovers
Health: 100%
Energy: 90%
Used: Telekinesis @ Darkrai
- All systems normal. -1 Speed

ole_schooler (O)

Fisher (M) <Pressure> @ Choice Scarf
Health: 69%
Energy: 88%
Used: Fly @ Darkrai
- Shaking blood out of his face. -1 Accuracy

Mawile (O)

Leo (M) <Steadfast> @ Expert Belt
Health: 79%
Energy: 90%
Used: Drain Punch @ Darkrai
- Holding up fine.

Final Notes
- Meta's struggle attack on the third action damaged both Giratina and Buzzcomb
- No target was specified for Monopole's telekinesis, so Darkrai was selected at random.

 

[Phantom]

I am watching this battle, how could I not? And I was wondering....

Giratina, does Buzzcomb taste like honey? Just curious, cause then a ditto might taste like Pepto Bismol.. maybe bubblegum??? I'd rather bubblegum....

 

[The Omskivar]

I'd rather Kratos make it spit them the fuck out. But that's just me.

 

[Phantom]

Just sitting over here on Fl'hight watching and wondering.

 

[allitersonance]

If you offer your own flesh in exchange, perhaps something can be arranged. But it is futile, human. No doubt you intend to rescue these pokémon of yours, but trust my word on this: they are dead. No matter what you attempt, they are dead. This is the fate you have brought upon them, humans, and this is merely a shadow of what will happen to you next.

But if this is what you humans call an Asberian battle, perhaps I can see why you might enjoy it so much. Even within these constraints, it is so easy for a human mind to find methods of killing the opponent! It is inefficient, but a trait common to both humans and pokémon is an appreciation of a challenge.

I do not wish to be subject to attempts to equalise my powers with the creatures you enslave, but if the challenge is instead in finding ways to kill you within the constraints of these "rules", perhaps I can find a way to enjoy this game.

This is especially so if none of you think to challenge me. This is, naturally, a wise choice in general, but it is already too late for you. Striking my allies has already sealed your fates. But if you wish to merely fight them, humans, then let it be so! It will only make things much easier for me, and it will hardly be a hindrance to them.

... and you, human. Comment if you must, and you will not be destroyed as long as you do not stand in our way. But do not think that I am not aware that, if you had the chance, you would be standing alongside these insects I am about to destroy.

 

[Phantom]

Whoah is that pink thing talking to me? Heh, I'm smart enough to stay out of a legendary's way. Especially those who may eat me.

 

[allitersonance]

Then you are wiser than any other here.

Very well. If you are not destroyed by a stray attack or meteor, human, perhaps it will be you who tells the story to those who come across the ruins and wonder.

 

[Phoenixsong]

Observer: Not really, no. Perhaps if I'd had a bit more time to really bite down on its abdomen there might have been some honey to taste, but that human over there is already making enough vexatious noise without my having snapped his precious insect in two. I don't know what "Pepto Bismol" is, but ditto don't really taste like anything—what little of them there is to taste, anyway. Now, are we through with the insipid questions? Because if you continue trying to waste my time with them I may become curious as to what you taste like.

As for the noisy one—I'm not entirely sure where you're getting the impression that this Kratos can "make" me do anything. I am no longer bound by anything but the limitations of this silly game, and of course that will be dealt with in short order.

 

[The Omskivar]

Actually I will admit that I completely and foolishly forgot who was pulling the strings here. Apologies, Giratina. In my defense right next to your visage it reads "Kratos Aurion" but still, my bad.

That reminds me of another question Mewtwo dodged; what is to become of Kratos, Pathos and Kusari when this is finished?

Or maybe he didn't dodge it but I forgot as humans are wont to do.

 

[ole_schooler]

Fisher! You're supposed to dodge the meteors, not run into them! Okay, I know, there's blood in your eyes, it's hard to see, I understand. But hey, that just means you're fighting hard, yeah? It means those "legends" are so afraid of you, they have to try and pick you off special! Which given that I'm riding on your back does not make my future look too good, but I promise, I will put you in the ball when you faint, so some other trainer might be able to get you to a center and heal you after I fall splat on the ground below.

Also, to whoever's mind is in control of the legendaries, what happened to Mewtwo's ability? Hasn't it got one? Or did it get out-Pressured by my fearsome Aeroderptyl? (And the scary bee lady living in the dragon tummy, can't forget her.) As intimidating as you lot are (and you are), you have to admit, we're not so unfrightening ourselves. Mechanically speaking, at least.

 

[Crazy Linoone]

Excuse me, Mr. or Ms. or whatever-title-you-would-prefer Mewtwo, but why do you feel the need to emphasize so many words in your speeches? I mean, Giratina can talk normally without so many bolded and italicized words, so I'm sure you can, too!

 

[allitersonance]

I speak with my mind, human, and my mind is so powerful that the slightest stress on a word, translated by another mind, becomes a great emphasis. It is a failure of your minds, not mine.

But I wish for no title. I am no human, and no human has the right to grant me a name or title.

(Not even You. I know that You are listening, champion, and know that I will not forget that dishonour.)

 

[shy ♡]

I have formed a special bond with this human and it will be mine. It is not like the rest of you; it is more squishy.