First of all, L'il Dawgie, that's nothing to be embarrassed of 'round here. Yeah, sperm bank is probably your best bet without not taking the estrogen (which I doubt you'd want to do), or you could adopt. I mean I know there's always the chance that you and your girlfriend (assuming that you did mean girlfriend by that one statement) might wanna do the whole "pregnancy" thing. Also, the legal stuff with adopting could get messy depending on where you are and whether you're legally considered male or female and if you can get married and whether just one of you would have to adopt the kid legally or not or whatever...
Aaah I'm just.. shaky, about those functions when it comes to myself. >_< And to be honest, I'm more embarrassed about asking my parents - thus I'm yet to look into it. Yeah, though.. There's no way I wouldn't want to take the HRT. When it comes down to it, it's cautionary; I don't want to be a year down the line and realise that I was an idiot for not saving anything. As was mentioned, there's something about blood-family. But I only have my thoughts on one person, the same one I mentioned in my previous CC thread - My "sister" whom is keeping me arms-length currently. I'm unsure WHERE that would go, even being in another relationship if it doesn't work out, which is why I suppose I say I'm still a bit torn.
I HATE, HATE HATE HATE the idea of what feels like pawning off something like pregnancy on someone else. I absolutely don't want to put ANYONE through that kind of ordeal; I'd want to go through it myself. I feel like a user otherwise, someone else sacrificing their comfort and body.. And then connection you feel from harbouring your own offspring. But I'm just incapable of that unless science comes a LONG way in little time on it.. Adoption as such seems like a really good option, but again.. blood offspring. Not to mention, my genes with hers in particular... It's a tough position.. Because I still feel like I could never put her through that. It's even been offered that she'd do it WITHOUT being in a relationship - as in acting as surrogate mother should I be involved with someone else, but there's not even a chance I could do that.
Then there's the legal issues, albeit; She's a biological female, while my documentation will for likely a long time read that I'm a biological male. It might mitigate those adoption issues.. though I don't know.
And thanks, VPLJ. Yes, my parents are still being difficult.. But I've found out the hormones are covered by insurance as I mentioned, so there's really nothing they can do. (Since I wouldn't have the money to pay for them on my own) I do still get lots of arguments started up, ramblings about how they wish it were different and etcetera, but I think at this point they know they can't stop me..
I know how it is to be in that position too, it took me ages to tell anyone - I was terrified. But as I've talked more about it, it's become much, much easier. I don't know if you have someone, a CLOSE friend or trusted therapist, but if you can open to SOMEONE suddenly it becomes easier. At least, it did for me. The first person I told was my "sister" I've mentioned - I was terrified I would be thrown out the door by her, outed, disconnected from all my friends.. But instead she ended up helping me form an entire support string to where I was able to tell my parents. It always feels like noone will accept it as you tell them, and it's hard, they're not going to react well; Parents just.. don't. But waiting doesn't change that either. Nowadays I'm adamant about it to them, and it's helped me have the foundation of necessity that even they couldn't deny.
I don't know if that's any help at all, and I'd hope you would be able to establish a similar comfort..
Anyway... [/EndBrainsplat]
