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Theories that no one else would believe.

  • That we are all, in reality, pickles floating in a jar in some alternate universe, and that every jar of pickles in our universe is in fact another universe, only much smaller, comprising only about a dozen residents.

  • That I'm normal.
  • That anyone likes me or ever will.
 
And now, more necromancy, from Skymin

I started writing an entry for TVTropes' WALL-E Wild Mass Guessing page...and came up with this.

Sadly, the denizens of the Axiom were killed off shortly after landing by factors beyond their control. However, their work had made their area the only safe area on Earth. When an EVE probe from another ship came back positive, the captain of that ship got everyone aboard to develop a plan for returning to Earth. His name? Captain Andonuts. Through his inherited mechanical prowess, he was able to reprogram the ship's autopilot to override Directive A113. Most of the robots were shut down and scrapped to avoid interfering with their plan to reset humanity's lifestyle after the havoc wrought by Buy n Large. However, since the autopilot was a critical part of developing the plan, they reserved a part in their story for him as a holder of memories, and implanted his core programming into a a part-biological cyborg form which, through a glitch, became very, very tall (becoming Leder). The Captain soon built an item he called the Hummingbird Egg, which blanked the entire ship's memories and replaced them with the roles designated in their plan, leaving only the Captain and the Autopilot's memories intact.

Upon landing, Captain Andonuts discovered two robots who had apparently survived (Take a good guess who they were). He was about to scrap them, but soon took pity on them after seeing how much emotional capacity they had. Not wanting them to interfere with the plan, he used the technology he had used to make Leder to install their personalities into biological forms. However, due to a mix-up, WALL-E was planted into the female body, and EVE in the male. This didn't seem to bother them, so nothing was done to reverse it. Their memories of life as robots was deleted, but their personalities and affection for each other was left as-is. To fit them seamlessly into the community, they were ret-conned into the memories as the children of childless people who filled no other role. They became Flint and Hinawa (And for what it's worth, Hal became Boney). However, the process had...odd effects on their twin children, giving them different brain wave patterns and allowing them to learn PSI. Shortly after, Porky had come along through time and kidnapped Captain Andonuts and forced him to work for him, which is why when WALL-E/Hinawa was killed, she was unable to just be fixed.
Click to expand...

Hey, I do have a life. Really, I do! Stop looking at me like that! It's not like I actually believe this! It was just a silly experiment of linking my two current obsessions.
 
*changes topic title to "Theories that no one else should believe."*

I believe that there is some higher power that is guiding our existence and progression in this universe...
 
Here is a theoretical recipe for water.
Water Recipe said:
  1. Find a chicken or scaredy-cat.
  2. Wear mouse costume.
  3. Attack and chase into nearby space shuttle.
  4. Press "EXPLODE!" to launch shuttle.
  5. Sing the "Llama Song".
  6. Bake a tree house and build a cake.
  7. Steal funny llama, fuzzy llama, llama llama duck
  8. Starve them until they attack you.
  9. Run into the Presidential Yacht and take President Bush hostage.
  10. Drive boat to Paraguay and dress Bush like a tree.
  11. Sell Bush to an undercover Secret Service Agent for $69,579, 60,000 yen, 77,660 Euros, and 58,538,864 Simoleons.
  12. Assume the name "Googenoshken Okoodoken" and run away to Holland.
  13. Live as a hermit for 15 years, or until you're 2-years-old.
  14. Find a rare Chestnut Fire Tree, and give it to the "Common Cold Cure Wooden Research Base". (It's almost done.)
  15. After being chased out by angry nerds locate Ebenezer Scrooge and offer him $10 to protect him.
  16. Spend all your money on capturing President Bush (again) and blame Scrooge.
  17. Start a world war and run away to a desert.
  18. Remember you were looking for a recipe for water 1.49694867 years later.
  19. Copy some random move and time travel to the future.
  20. Locate the scientist's recipe for water and go back to your time.
  21. Sell it and become rich.
  22. Wait for the world to end by either A) War caused by you OR B) Ruining the space-time continuum by traveling to the future.
  23. Die a happy death while everyone else suffers.
Click to expand...
 
I dont beleve this, but people are saying obama is the anti-crist. This is why:

We are in troubled times

He is loved by many people

again, i honestly think its bull, and unless he does something that involves 666, its gonna remain bull.
 
^666 has nothing to do with Satan. It's the name of King Nero.

Also...what the hell do those two things have to do with Negative Jesus?
 
That if I have hot chocolate for 5 days in a row I become infinite and high. I normally end up inpregnating a few girls too
 
Does anyone actually know someone who owns "Freshly-picked Tingle's Rosy Rupeeland"?
I don't. I haven't seen it being sold in shops, but apparently it has been. Has anyone ever bought one of these games? Because I've never seen a cartridge. Maybe Nintendo thought of a random insignificant character from one of their games, made a fake spin off. Made the box art and fake reviews/gameplay videos so that it would look like they have more games released than they actually do.
 
TP, do you by chance watch Code Monkeys?

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are just four bored guys who like to play Scrabble. And their sandwiches are huge.
 
I think I'm living in a dream world too, but I WANT to wake up.
Actually, if this world is how dull a dream is, I can't imagine how boring the real world would be... this world isn't exciting.

I also support the "fiction exists somewhere else in space and time" theory. I really want to figure these things out for myself.

Uhh, I think there has to be a race superior to humans somewhere out there, too.

And that is all from me. I might come back later, but... yeah.
 
Re: Theories that now one else would believe.

shadow_lugia said:
That humans are actually some kind of experiment created by aliens, and we live in a universe that's in a little glass jar in some alien labratory.

I have too much time on my hands D:
Click to expand...

I have thought this many times in my head...

Then they'll squish us.
 
I'm starting to disbelieve my barrier theory. It was purely a lack of will.

Yes, I have will in dreams. :/

Anyone want to hear it one more time?
 
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