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what the fuck is this

See, one of the headlines I got was "Could immigrants hurt the conservative party?" which actually sounded pretty respectable and not too obviously pulled out of an ass, but then it was immediately followed by "Are feral children giving Britain's farmers AIDS?" or something and pffft.

The cat would probably make a better juror than I would; better that he goes on duty and I just sit here in the corner and hope I don't get summoned a third time. Probably won't be able to get out of it. :/
 
Also, how do you make a mistake that large? Just how?
Jurists' names are pulled from the electoral register and the cat was listed on the census which apparently asks what pets you have. So somehow the census people must have misread "pets" as "actual people who can actually do jury service". ¯\(°_o)/¯
 
IS THE E.U. BURGLING PENSIONERS?
COULD LESBIANS BURGLE YOUR MORTGAGE?
HAS FACEBOOK GIVEN YOUR HOUSE SWINE FLU?
WILL DUMBING-DOWN TURN YOU GAY?
WILL FEMINISM KILL BRITAIN'S SWANS?

Haha, this is fantastic.

I'm not that surprised the summons for jury duty for the cat happened in the first place - I mean, such mix-ups do happen - but the part where they appealed with "um, he's a cat" and the request was rejected is what makes it truly bizarre.
 
I'm not that surprised the summons for jury duty for the cat happened in the first place - I mean, such mix-ups do happen - but the part where they appealed with "um, he's a cat" and the request was rejected is what makes it truly bizarre.
It's weirder still that they refused to let him off the jury because he can't speak English. After all there's no law explicitly stating that "it's a cat" is a valid excuse to be let off jury service. :p

Unless the law says that if the juror can't speak English they can get an interpreter. Oh dear.
 
COULD THE FRENCH IMPREGNATE THE ROYAL FAMILY? yes
WILL THE POLES GIVE YOU CANCER? yes
ARE FERAL CHILDREN TAXING BRITAIN'S SWANS? sorry about that
HAVE IMMIGRANTS TURNED YOUR MORTGAGE GAY? damn immigrants >.<
COULD CANCER GIVE DRIVERS DIABETES? oh god i laughed so much

BUT ON A RELATED NOTE.
Is this proven real? It seems fake that they'd say "NOPE IT'S NOT A CAT UNLESS I SAY IT'S A CAT" or even make the mistake in the first place.

Although the whole making the cat do jury service thing is probably a formality. I'd imagine the cat is being brought in so it can be proven that yes, it's a cat, and be dismissed.
 
I really, really want to draw how I would imagine some of those daily-mail-o-matic things would look D:
 
Interpretor for the cat. Imagine it giving a verdict. Guilty? MEOW.

THAT CAT NEEDS TO BE THE FOREMAN OF THAT JURY.

Is the EU ruining the middle class? All of mine make sense...
 
COULD THE INTERNET MOLEST YOU?

This thing is fucking amazing.

Anyway, saw this on the news just before this was posted on one of those celebrity gossip shows, thought to myself "there's no way this is real".
And then everyone else started reporting it.
I agree with whoever said they're doing this for shiggles.
 
ARE THE UNEMPLOYED INFECTING PROPERTY PRICES WITH AIDS?
WILL THE LABOUR PARTY MOLEST THE CHURCH?
COULD THE FRENCH MOLEST BRITISH SOVEREIGNTY?
HAS TEENAGE SEX GIVEN BRITAIN'S FARMERS DIABETES?
IS THE BBC MAKING YOUR PETS IMPOTENT?
 
COULD THE METRIC SYSTEM DEVALUE TAXPAYERS' MONEY?
ARE PAEDOPHILES MOLESTING YOUR PENSION?
HAS THE HOUSE PRICE CRASH GIVEN YOUR PENSION SWINE FLU?
HAVE LESBIANS IMPREGNATED YOUR MORTGAGE?
 
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