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Why do people think that everyone wants to be "cool"

Flora and Ashes said:
...Is this the part where I say that I have friends and I am in no way whatsoever anywhere near cool?
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usually the more popular you are, the more friends you have. I mean, 75/77 people in our grade have at least one friend, however (obviously) not all of those 75 people can be the kool kidz. those that are the kool kidz typically have huge circles of friends while the nerdz tend only to have three or four each. :(

I dislike it when people are all "who cares if I'm popular? popular people are all MORONS and JERKS and just random CONFORMISTS who subscribe to trends to make themselves look cooler when really they're just pathetic". I used to have this very attitude, and I therefore I ended up at the very bottom of the social ladder. Eventually, I realized how fucking stupid this mentality was. "waaah waaah waah why should I have to conform just to have people LIKE ME? why can't people like me for who I aaaaaaaaam?" Kid, society is always going to expect something from you, and it's so. much. easier. just to give in and end up wearing maybe not your first choice of clothes, but in return getting a lot more friends and generally a more enjoyable school experience.

Seriously. :|
 
that is a twisted view o.o you should do things because you want to; whether or not this is the standard society has set is irrelevant
 
Furretsu said:
that is a twisted view o.o you should do things because you want to; whether or not this is the standard society has set is irrelevant
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Furret, there's a standard for a reason.

Being yourself is great.

However, having friends and being accepted by your peers is even more great.

I mean...

If nobody wants to hang out with you because you're being yourself, you're probably doing something wrong.
 
?_? Why should you need to 'conform' to make friends?

I am not perfectly normal and I have plenty of friends. Most of them being acquaintances, but the ones I talk to regularly I have more than just a few. :x A lot of them are younger/older than me too~
Some people just need to break out of their shell. People who are shy just look like they're stuck-up, so you just need to gain some natural confidence -- I DID THIS. It didn't change me like, at all, by the way -- and talk to people. 'Conforming' has nothing to do with it. We have the weirdest people in our group (mind you we're all lumped into the 'moshers' group but that is not the point).

You don't need to be cool to have friends. Coolness comes with being a nice person. :x
 
Tailsy said:
?_? Why should you need to 'conform' to make friends?

I am not perfectly normal and I have plenty of friends. Most of them being acquaintances, but the ones I talk to regularly I have more than just a few. :x A lot of them are younger/older than me too~
Some people just need to break out of their shell. People who are shy just look like they're stuck-up, so you just need to gain some natural confidence -- I DID THIS. It didn't change me like, at all, by the way -- and talk to people. 'Conforming' has nothing to do with it. We have the weirdest people in our group (mind you we're all lumped into the 'moshers' group but that is not the point).

You don't need to be cool to have friends. Coolness comes with being a nice person. :x
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Pretty much all of this. Except I don't have a huge amount of friends, just a moderate number and a lot of... acquaintances.
 
Furretsu said:
that is a twisted view o.o you should do things because you want to; whether or not this is the standard society has set is irrelevant
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oh so either I can (to use a very simple example) wear red shirts and be a nerd with a couple friends, and no one else, or I can wear blue shirts and have everyone like me. but no, I should wear a red shirt, because that's the color I like better! who cares if I can get more friends wearing blue? I should do what I want!

I mean this only to a certain extent. for example, Abercrombie/AE/Hollister/Aeropostale are the brands to wear. I don't, because I honestly hate those clothes and I feel like a friggin' poser. however, it's basically irrelevant whether I have those clothes or not, because a) our school has a dress code, so people only see what I wear at dances and parties, or on "dress down days" and b) plenty of unpopular kids wear those clothes, and yet still aren't as cool as the kids at the top.

if, somehow, I would be condemned to be a lonely nerd unless I wore Abercrombie clothes, then yes, I would wear Abercrombie clothes. I hate the clothes, but you know what I hate more? Having no one like me.
 
Zeta Reticuli said:
oh so either I can (to use a very simple example) wear red shirts and be a nerd with a couple friends, and no one else, or I can wear blue shirts and have everyone like me. but no, I should wear a red shirt, because that's the color I like better! who cares if I can get more friends wearing blue? I should do what I want!
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this is very shallow

enjoy your artificial friendships
 
I honestly don't know how to respond to that, because it's really just not true. :|
 
My friendships aren't artificial. Or, well, that depends on how you define "artificial", Furret.

I mean... Sure, my friends don't know everything about me. If they did, they'd leave me for sure.

But just because I don't let them see every aspect of my personality, that doesn't make my friendships artificial.
 
AK is right.
If I were to change the clothes I wear, I would not be gaining any friends that I would want to have as friends.

It is also true that I don't wear 'total loser clothes' and have a total sense of the importance of how I look. I wear clothes that I like and have made sure that the things I like are socially acceptable (I like pokemon obviously but you won't catch me dead wearing a shirt about it).

Even if your friends don't know everything about you, if the reason you have them as friends is simply because you look like a tool, then yes that is pretty artificial.

However 'fuck the system' is better than 'follow the trends' but still will end up with you being a social outcast because you don't know what you're doing so don't do it.
Perhaps more 'work the system'.
 
a) it's not really about having friends, it's about being well liked. I, for one, would rather be able to sit in class knowing that the person on my right and on my left think that I'm a pretty okay guy who is worth talking to if the class gets boring enough, than be sitting in class knowing that the person on my right and left think I'm a hopeless nerd who is not worth saying a word too. but maybe that's just me.

b) some people may think someone lower than them on the social ladder a likeable enough guy, but the system is so rigid that the more popular person is not willing to risk their popularity to befriend someone who already has plenty of other friends. in this case, the less popular person can put on a blue shirt to opens up new doors to friendships.

really what I'm saying is, why waste all your energy going "why should I wear a blue shirt?" when you can just buy a blue shirt and you'll be happier in the long run.
 
I have three close friends, and a few people who won't look down on me if I talk to them. And I don't think I could be happier if I had ten close friends, and the rest of the class being acquaintances.

I guess I have a little 'fuck the system' mentality, but I don't not have lots of friends for this reason. I am just friends with people that I share interests with, and who happen to be good people who weren't afraid to greet the little year seven with bushy hair and a lack of confidence.

People who feel they NEED to be cool and socially accepted are the type of people who thrive on that sort of lifestyle. And I have absolutely no problem with that. I'm just not like that myself.
 
ultraviolet said:
So uncool that it's... cool?
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muncool.gif


Strange but true.
 
coughsalot said:
1. Neither warm nor very cold; moderately cold: fresh, cool water; a cool autumn evening.
2. Giving or suggesting relief from heat: a cool breeze; a cool blouse.
3. Marked by calm self-control: a cool negotiator.
4. Marked by indifference, disdain, or dislike; unfriendly or unresponsive: a cool greeting; was cool to the idea of higher taxes.
5. Of, relating to, or characteristic of colors, such as blue and green, that produce the impression of coolness.
6. Slang
a. Excellent; first-rate: has a cool sports car; had a cool time at the party.
b. Acceptable; satisfactory: It's cool if you don't want to talk about it.
7. Slang Entire; full: worth a cool million.
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why did you post this...?

I'm kinda on the fence between the way Zeta Reticuli thinks and what everyone else seems to think. I'm kinda the uncool person among the cool people, if that makes sense, but people still like me. The only thing I do wrong is the fact I never say anything irl and just listen instead :)

I used to be all "why should I buy this brand of trainers when it's more expensive and I like the ones I have already? Who cares about what shoes someone is wearing?" but then I needed new shoes, I bought the cool ones just because they were there, and now I'm coolest person on Earth. Everyone wins.
 
I don't care about being "cool". I am myself, and I feel lucky that I'm apparently a nice enough person where people don't hate me for good reason. (If I wasn't, I would try to be a bit nicer, though) I'm shy, but I still come out of my shell enough. I still have friends who love and respect me for who I am, not because I wear a certain brand of clothing.

Although, one thing I don't understand: Why are non-conformists called that when they do, in fact, conform? They conform to the opposite of trends. I think the term should mean someone who just likes things, regardless of weather or not they are popular. Wicked, for example, is taking the small town I live in by storm, and I still love it.

I don't care if people want to conform to current trends. It's a good security blanket against being teased and such, after all. I'm not that way, is all.

(I'm sorry if that made no sense)
 
'Friend' is the word that needs to be defined, not 'cool'.
 
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