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You laugh you lose (aka POST ALL FUNNY STUFF HERE)

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Re: You laugh you lose

Came up with a great idea... *Grin*

Invader Palkia said:
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Beat that!
 
Re: You laugh you lose

If you don't mind, I'm gonna put some Chuck Norris Jokes:

There is no such thing as a tornado. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire ream of rice paper and spat out origami swans and Mister Miyagi from Karate Kid.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate an Indian.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take crap from anybody.

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

Chuck Norris doesn't worry about changing his clock twice a year for daylight savings time. The sun rises and sets when Chuck tells it to.

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.

When his martial arts prowess fails to resolve a situation, Chuck Norris plays dead. When playing dead doesn’t work, he plays zombie.

Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.

Scientists used to believe that diamond was the world’s hardest substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure, that the scientists turned into artificial Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.

If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.

If Superman and The Flash were to race to the edge of space you know who would win? Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot.

Ironically, Chuck Norris’ hidden talent is invisibility.

Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly ‘get out of jail free’ card.

Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker’s real father.

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches and Chuck Norris. (And Twinkies) -Erindor

Helen Keller’s favorite color is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can pee into gale force winds.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane".

Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the shit out of viruses. That's why Chuck Norris never gets ill.

Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.


Hope you enjoyed! :D
 
Re: You laugh you lose

Hee, I love those, though I admit to liking Jack Bauer facts over Chuck Norris ones just because Jack's more badass. It's true.

If Jack Bauer was a Spartan, the movie would've been called One.

X3
 
Re: You laugh you lose

Erindor the Espeon said:
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take crap from anybody.

Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the shit out of viruses. That's why Chuck Norris never gets ill.
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I lost.
 
Re: You laugh you lose

FROM HERE
A university student while visiting Gasan asked him: "Have you ever read the Christian Bible?"

"No, read it to me," said Gasan.

The student opened the Bible and read from St. Matthew: "And why take ye thought for rainment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow. They toil not, neither do they spin, and yet I say unto you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these... Take therefore no thought for the morrow, for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself."

Gasan said: "Whoever uttered those words I consider an enlightened man."

The student continued reading: "Ask and it shall be given you, seek and ye shall find, knock and it shall be opened unto you. For everyone that asketh receiveth, and he that seeketh findeth, and to him that knocketh, it shall be opened."

Gasan remarked: "That is excellent. Whoever said that is not far from Buddhahood."
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if you are offended I would like to know who you are so I can tell you that you are oversensitive >:|
 
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