Take your time, it is a lot to think about.
I wrote that a few months ago, but I mean... it's still how I feel now, you know? Sometimes, I get tired of people telling you to hope that it'll be better. It's such... passive advice, isn't it? You can't just wait things out sometimes, and I know because I've been waiting... for a really long time for everything to be okay. I get tired of hoping that it'll be better in the future. That's why, for me, it felt better to render life as a villain, that I must fight. It's a more active, a more aggressive approach. Instead of being a passive participant in your life, you are ACTIVE and FIGHTING it. You're fighting the villain that it is, the horridness that it's given you. And you're strong for fighting the horridness.
And to feel strong like that, I find it empowering. It's a constant struggle, but you have to win it! And even struggling in the first place, that is strength too. By turning negativity into positivity... that's how I can begin to feel better. By turning life into a villain, even though I acknowledge there are good things about it... that's how I decide not to go through with it, not to kill myself. You have a place to channel your negative emotions, towards fighting for your happiness, and your own life, for control of it.
I hope that made sense... and that I haven't overloaded you too much.
