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Finding your old stuff

Harlequin

Active member
Do you ever come across something of yours that you wrote a long time ago and when you see it you cringe because it's so bad? Or do you think, "hey, I wasn't so bad!"?

Well, I recently found some of my oldest writing. This is just an excerpt, and it's from 2004:

Bad Fanfiction said:
[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]Two naked children ran down the shore of a beach from a lean-to. They splashed about in the water. Neither could remember when they were taught to swim. It was as if they had been born being able to swim. As they splashed happily, their mother and her mate were taking the time to alone. The children got out of the water, and begun building piles of stones. There was a sudden shuddering, and the earth split open as the earth roared. The small lean-to was eaten by the earth as it shattered and claimed its prize. The children ran into the lush forest in front of them, and followed the water. The children conversed with each other, but it was mostly only to confirm the other was there. The children slept, after drinking from the stream. They awoke in the middle of the night to darkness. They felt for each other, and curled up, asleep. Day dawned, and the children made it out of the forest, but onto the steppes. The children, deprived from food, saw an apparition. The called out to it. “Mother! Mother! We said we would be good mother, and we waited and waited, but you never came! Motherrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!” The children ran after their “Mother” and became lost. Now that their only source of water was long gone, the children were doomed. Unknowingly, the children wandered near to a pride of cave lions. They wandered too close, in fact, and the male chased the children into a hole. The children screamed, and shook with fear. The lion stretched its paw in, making a giant gash in the boys leg. However, it wasn’t happy, and reached in for the girl. She screamed as the lion raked its paws across her thigh, and satisfied, the lion backed off. The children were left, shaking with pain and fear, until the boy urged his sister to come. The crawled out of the hole, and walked deliriously towards the horizon. At a small stream, they drank their fill, but fell unconscious.[/FONT]


[FONT=Arial, sans-serif]I'd be more ashamed by this if it weren't so funny. I love it. So. Bad. (The hilarious thing? That got far more comments than anything I've ever written since.)

So go on. SHARE YOUR ANCIENT BADFIC.
[/FONT]
 
Every single piece I've written since I began using Microsoft Word is in my computer. I can find the stuff effortlessly.

I'd show samples if it wasn't for the fact they aren't in English and hardly anybody would understand what they say.
 
I miss lots of my old stuff. I've lost so much that I've probably lost more than I currently have. I love finding it because it shows that I've really grown as an author.

I love being able to trace my growth but I can't because I have large gaps. Tres sad.
 
Oh, come on, guys! It's fun to show how bad you were! That's not even the earliest stuff... The first fanfiction I ever wrote was DBZ and Digimon slash stuff. It was great.

And by "great" I mean "so bad it hurts" but I'm still upset I don't have it any more. SHARE THE BAD.
 
I'd have to actively look for my early early stuff but it's 95% dialogue. And not good dialogue. It's like awful IZ ripoff dialogue.
 
I have so many old stories that I just cringe to read... here's one of them. It's pretty priceless. To maintain its horridness, I'll keep all of the misspelled words (I hand-wrote it, so they were apparently never fixed. "Falut" is supposed to be "fault"; I think that's the only not-obvious one.)

I wrote this in third grade when I was nine, and it's about a "hawk", but really, it's a Spearow. Or some kind of hybrid. Who knows what I was thinking. All of the "eee!"'s are supposed to be something like a red-tailed hawk cry.

"..., Yum... mmm... Huh? Oh, Hi! You caught me eating." "Eeee!!" "Don't worry, it's just Sperow. (Spear-row) What? You don't know who Sperow is? Well then, I'll just have to tell you. It all started back when I was 13."

I was in the pet store, eager to get a pet bird. I heard someone call, "Stand back kids! (Eeee! Whip, whip!) This bird is powerful!" "A powerful bird! Wow!" I said, running over to see the bird. I asked the man, "What kind of bird is that?" "A hawk." he answered. "No one wants it." "I'll buy it!" I cried. "All right. He's your's for five dollars." "Let's see..."I looked in my pocket. "Here it is!" I said, giving him a five dollar bill. "Fine. He's yours!" He handed me the cage. "It doesn't have a name yet," he said. "I'll think of a name. Thanks! Bye!" I called. When I got home, I let the hawk out of the cage. "Eeee! (Flutter, Flap, Flutter, Peck! Peck! Peck!) "This thing IS powerful!" I screamed. Back then I was an assitant teacher. The three kids that lived closest, Jake at six years old, Maria (nicknamed Sunny) at five years old, and Alex at five years old, knocked on the door. "You can come in." I said after I got the hawk back in the cage. "What happened?!" asked Sunny when they got in. "I just got this bird, and it attacked me when I let it out." I said. "Hey! I just thought of a name for it! Sperow!" I cried. The bird, newly name Sperow, flaped it's wings. "I think he likes it!" Jake said.

"That's how I got Sperow, and it's name. You say you want to know why he has that scar? I'll tell you that, too!"

At this time I was 14, Sperow had learned a lot and as his sorry to everything he had done in the past, he now flew up to the sky next to the magic electric wires to check on the children by making a screech every time he saw a kid. The wires were magic because although Mr. Hawk, the one that put the wires up, had cut the end of the wires, they still worked like they weren't cut. I told Mr. Hawk to take them down because we didn't have electricity. He didn't listen. A month later... I was walking home with Jake, Sunny, and Alex, who was now 6. When I was almost home, Sperow flew off my arm. "Eeee!.... Eeee!... (Flap, flap) Eeee!" "All 3 kids!" I said. When I was in the house, Sperow was watching Sunny from next to a wire. Sunny didn't look up. (~-`ZAP!-~) The wires shocked Sperow!! The blow knocked Sperow to the ground, unconcios. Sunny ran over. "Sperow!... I'll be right back!" Running inside, she asked, "Mom! Can I have a towel and rubber gloves?" "You're playing 'Animal Emergencys' again? Okay." said her mom. Sunny ran outside She put on the rubber gloves and layed the towel next to Sperow. She gently set the bird on the towel. "I won't be gone long." she said, running to my house. On her way there, her sock got stuck on a stick. It quickly broke. I was outside, reading. "Follow me!" said Sunny when she got here. I put down my book, and followed. "How could this have - Mr. Hawk." I said, starting worried, then turning to anger. I saw Mr. Hawk from the corner of my eye. "Mr. Hawk!" I called madly. "My bird!" Mr. Hawk cried. "How cyoudl you let this happen?!" "No, no, no. Listen, Mister. This is not your bird. But this is your falut. Who bought the bired? Me. Who put up the wires? You. Who's falut is it?! YOUR'S!" I screamed. "You take down these wires RIGHT NOW! We don't have electricity, so we don't need them!" By this time Alex and Jake had rushed over. The children had never seen me so mad before. "Now take them down!" I finished. I turned towards Sperow. "We should make sure dirt doesn't get on him." I said, kneling down. I picked up Sperow. "Let's go." I didn't say it, but the kids knew what I meant. The vet was three blocks away. We dropped off Sperow, and the vet said he would have to stay over the weekend. Half of me was exploding in anger, half was worried. I decieded to take a walk. I saw Mr. Hawk. "You are terrible! My own bird!" he cried. I got mad. "Listen, I already told you. WHO BOUGHT THE BIRD? ME!! WHO'S FALUT IS IT? YOUR'S!!!" I screamed. By Monday, I was in tears. The vet said Sperow was in terrible condition. "It might have to be put to sleep," she said. "But it won't let itself die." By next Sunday, Sperow came with me, with a large scar on it's wing. 3 weeks later, Mr. Hawk agreed to take down the wires. I also got a sore throuht, from yelling at Mr. Hawk. Everything was peaceful from then on.

"So that's how he got his scar. Sperow now has a permanent stagger in his flight. Besides that, he's fine!" (Eee! Flap, flap!) "Hi, Sperow! So, you're leaving?! OK, bye! Come and visit for more story!"

I hope you enjoyed the horridness. =)
 
I was certain that my first fanfic was lost to the internet forever, but Googling a phrase I remembered from it found that I had actually saved it on one of my Neopet's pages. Saved that one down to the hard drive, heh. The first couple paragraphs of the first chapter:

Corenne's Blade

The sun crept slowly above the distant mountains, painting a glittering mural of one very wet summer's morning. Dew glittered in the unexpected light, clinging frantically to vegetation all up the hill to the scraggly glade thereupon. The cool stillness of the trees was a sanctuary, where the sun's prying eyes struggled to reach the forest floor. On the forest's edge was a low range of shrubbery where every dewdrop reflected the far-off sunrise in all its perfection. The mirage shattered as something pushed its way out of the foliage. The creature glared down upon the tiny village at the foot of the hill. THe gem on its forehead glowing with a sinister light, it sank back into the forest, the only testament to its passage a thousand shattered sunrises.

Corenne saw no beauty in the early morning as she ambled dejectedly along the gravel path outside of town. Today was "the" day. All of New Bark Town was aflutter over her brother. It had been ever since her beloved sibling's name had flashed across TV screens throughout the Johto region. The new league champion naturally attracted a great deal of attention. "The youngest champion ever!" newscasters had reported briefly. "Grew up in some tiny town in Johto," they proclaimed. New Bark Town had become a media hotspot. Newscrews from across the continent appeared overnight. They flew into town in droves, pulled up in news vans, and even sailed in from Rt. 26. Interviewers cropped up on her house's doorstep. They camped out in front of Professor Elm's Lab. They interviewed everyone in sight (or attempted to). Eventually, the chaos died down. Newscrews packed up and left.

But New Bark was obsessed. Her brother was stopping by for a visit before setting forth to conquer Mt. Silver. Her mother had baked an enormous cake. Professor Elm was telling anyone who would listen that he had always known Jon was going to be great. Corenne watched them all prepare a grand celebration and thought bitterly that they would never celebrate her return with such pomp and circumstance. She was a girl, and according to her mother, girls do not go tramping off in search of adventure. And so, she would be confined to working in some tiny town for the rest of her life while her brother basked in the spotlight.
The dreadful self-insert-Sue origfic I wrote prior to this is, thankfully, lost forever; I did technically write one piece of Pokémon fanfiction before the one above, but it was just a chapter for a group-written fanfic, and it's definitely vaporized on the internet.

Five years ago 4srs. It's crazy looking back.
 
Don't laugh too much. I was really proud of this.
Link looked around. There was nobody here for miles. Not one bit of civilization. Link let out a deep sigh, he turned around to see his footprints dissppearing in the snow behind him. He shivered a bit, and patted Epona. Link took out his Zora Mask and quickly put it on. Since the zoras were so used to water, perhaps he may find snow a bit more suitable?

He looked at his map. Termina Field... Clock Town... Southern Swamp... here it was! The Hidden City of Naughile. For years, Link had dreamed of visiting Naughile. Ever since the little match on the moon...

But that was all behind him now. He was 20, and he was perfectly ready. Naughile was one of the biggest cities in the land of Hyrule and Termina combined. It starts with a small hole to the south of Clock Town, near Termina field. It was a huge city - most stay there their whole lives and never get bored. It led through the many areas of Termina, and had a lake that flowed up through Hyrule Castle Town.

Zora Link stopped Epona. He had to have brought something that could help warm him up. He looked, but found nothing.

"Getting cold?"

Link turned around, and found a small man, maybe 5 feet tall. He had a round face and a long nose. "I am the Happy Mask Salesman. I take it you are going to Naughile? It would be... hee hee... the only reason you would come in such weather."

"It matters not why I am here. But, for your curiosity's sake, yes, I am heading to Naughile. And may I ask where you are going?"

"Why, you still don't remember me? I suppose you get a Zora brain once you wear the stupid mask. I am the original owner of Majora's Mask!"

Link ghasped. "Oh... oh right. Why are you here, though?"

"I'm looking for the Aurora Mask. You know - it's quite powerful. Once it's on your face, you can control the flow of the rains, snow, and sleet. It is effective, too. If there was a drought in Goron City, for example, I would give them many rains... however, in the wrong hands and you could manipulate weather and torture people forever. And as you can tell, this could have many effects on Naughile, too. Too much snow and there could be a cave-in, yes?"

"You expect to find the Aurora Mask here?"

"Yes, actually. It was last seen by a couple of kids playing hide and seek. They saw it, and dropped it and ran off. They forget where they dropped it. That means one thing - it's buried in the snow here somewhere. I suppose I better be off. Oh wait! Take this tunic, it'll guard you from the cold at least until you get to Naughile."

Link took the light-blue tunic, and put it on.

"It's called the Humid Tunic. It detracts water vapor in the air, meaning you stay warm and dry. Oh yeah, you can't have any masks on, which is why you're a human again."

"Thanks! Um... better get going then."

"Good luck... heh heh heh heh..."

As Link and Epona came closer to Naughile, Link could see a tower in the distance. This was no doubt Clock Town - he was nearing the hidden city!

Link started to run, Epona behind him, when he tripped over something. He looked around, and looked down. It looked like a Deku Stick. No - this wasn't a Deku Stick! It was a kid!

"Kid, you all right?"

The kid got up. He was half the size of Link. He had a round face, and plump legs. He turned around - trying to distract Link from looking at his mask. "G-Go away!"

"WHAT?"

Link forced the kid around, and looked at his face. He let out a deep gasp. This kid had a mask on his face - and this wasn't any mask! This mask had markings on it: I leave the weather in your hands, O Aurora. Was this the Aurora Mask?

"Kid! You do know what this is, don't you?"

"Yes... and I'm a bit scared, too. Since I found this mask, it means I'm chosen - like a sage or something. I am the Aurora of the Future! Haven't you heard the legend?"

"No, but what do you mean you're an Aurora?"

"I'd go and ask my parents. They live in 7233 Riverpath, in Naughile. Just please ask them, I'd rather not tell you about this..."

The kid, realizing what he just said, let out a hard gasp. "I just spilled the secret of the King and Queen's house! Oh shoot, oh shoot!"

Link's eyes widened. "You mean- you're-"

"The Prince... and the Aurora of the Future... Just please talk to my Mom..."

"Whatever. Oh, what's the nearest hole to Naughile?"

"It's very well hidden, but the place where it lay is full of people. You best use the Invisible Tunic to head down the hole. It's right behind Bandwagon's house... the house with an orange roof. Invisible Tunics... um... just talk to Bandwagon, he'll give you one. It's in Clock Town. Um... okay, I'll see you later."

"Um, yeah, okay."

Twenty minutes later, Link and Epona arrived in Clock Town. Link quickly spotted the orange roof, and knocked on the door. "Go- what- who- come- I..." came a voice.

"Erm, anyone here?"

But there was no response. Link opened the door, and walked slowly inside. He saw a bald man sitting at a desk, writing in weird motions.

The man had a squeaky voice, and his voice echoed as he roared:

"Finally, Gooa, it is time for you to DIE!"
 
Molzapart and Rainteicune, of course.

Molzapart (Unodostres)
English
Molzapart (or Unodostres) is the most powerful pokémon. There is only one that was born when Articuno, Zapdos, Moltres and Mew were playing together at Articuno’s home, at Seafoam Islands. They saw the ultra-powerful Mist stone and thaught is was a Geodude, so they attacked. Articuno used Blizzard, Zapdos used Thunder, Moltres used Fire blast and Mew used Psychic. These attacks all hit the Mist stone at once and it broke. Most of the parts were found by people working on a gameshark so they put it in, some parts landed in the Seafoam Islands cave, but those parts weren’t many, so few trainers have found a Mist stone in the cave. But, the middle part of the Mist stone was left. It stood right before the eyes of the legendary birds and Mew, it glowed after the Fire blast, sparks came out of it because of the Thunder, it was frozen solid because of the Blizzard and it was flying few cm from earth because of Mew’s Psychic. And it turned to life. It transformed into an ultra-powerful pokémon with Moltes’s head, Zapdos’s body and Articuno’s wings and tailfeathers. It didn’t look like Mew at all, but it had Mew’s psychic powers. Maybe it’s because Psychic’s base damage is only 90, but Fire blast’s, Thunder’s and Blizzard’s is 120. It attacked them with Peck, but they were quick enough to avoid the attack an run.
A scientist few years ago had a dream about this pokémon. He told the other scientists the dream, and one of them had the same dream. They found the pokémon soon. They didn’t belive their eyes when their pokédex told them “this is a mysterious pokémon that is fire/electric/ice/flying/psychic-type and can know five attacks at a time. No data avaiable.” Five types and five attacks!? A new pokémon? But, they aren’t famous jet. Why? Well, they found out too that on level 100 it has 999 in all of it’s status. And it isn’t just powerful, it knows it is, so it can really kill other pokémon – and humans. If they told everyone, every trainer would try to capture it, and it would kill them, because it knows it can and it’s proud. It would never allow anything to control it. Only if a trainer really knows he can’t catch it and respects it, maybe it would help him if he is losing an important battle and knows it is much more powerful than himself, it might help. The scientists gave it the name Molzapart or Unodostres and its pokédex data is: If some trainer thinks he can capture it, nothing can stop it from killing the trainer and his pokémon and use its psychic powers to make everyone forget the trainer, even his parents.
Molzapart’s attacks:
Level Attack
--- Peck
6 Thundershock
7 Ember
8 Powder snow
9 Gust
15 Confusion
18 Icy wind
20 Wing attack
22 Flame wheel
23 Spark
24 Psybeam
26 Fly (the only pokémon that can learn Fly by itself, but it can forget it.)
30 Drill peck
34 Psychic
35 Thunderbolt
36 Flamethrower
37 Ice beam
40 Aeroblast
41 Sacred fire
42 Zap cannon
45 Fire spin
50 Blizzard
51 Fire blast
52 Thunder
55 Sky attack

So – here they are, Molzapart’s attacks. Well, all of its attacks are damaging. That’s because its status is so high, it doesn’t need attacks that lowers the enemy’s status or hightens its own, and there are three groups of attacks, damaging, status lowering or hightening, and attakcs that do nothing at all except if you are lucky, they inflict a status change, Poison, Freeze, Paralyzis, Sleep, Burn, or Confusion. There are too attacks that inflict special status changes that can by inflicted only by using that attack. On this second, I only remember two, Leech seed and Attract. And – well, there is a tiny little group of attacks that DO NOTHING AT ALL! There is only one attack in this group, can you guess wich? Of course, that attack is Splash, Magikarp and Hoppip know them. But, Hoppip is better because it knows some other attacks too! Magikarp will not learn anything until level 15. But, I’m supposed to be talking about Molzapart now. Anyway, it’s the only pokemon that simply learns an HM move,(except Goldeen and Seaking with Waterfall) but it can forget Fly, just like a normal attack. Well, Molzapart has much higher status than any pokémon so it doesn’t need group two, and it can inflict burn, freeze, paralyzis and confusion with its normal attacks. And there are poison and sleep left. Well, frezze is like an upgraded version of sleep and burn is like an upgraded version of poison. And bird pokémon can’t use poisoning attacks, anyway. Paralysis is mainly speed-and-“accuracy”(because “fully paralysed” works as “attack missed”) lowering and accuracy-lowering is defensive and Molzapart has just enough defense. Burn is better than poison and Molzapart doesn’t need something to be sure it poisons the enemy and it can’t be sure it burns the enemy. And it doesn’t need anything to be sure to make the enemy fall asleep and can’t make sure it gets frozen solid. So Molzapart doesn’t need attacks from group three either. And no pokémon has anything to do with group four! Wow, Molzapart used Splash. If Molzapart were that dumb, no one would want it!
Molzapart is a pokémon with no weakness. It can, too, do a super effective hit on every type except fire, but with its status, they shouldn’t be a problem. If Articuno were water type, Molzapart would have weakness for electric. If the legendary birds weren’t birds, it would have weakness for ground. You see it almost has weakness for some types. But...I didn’t notice... uh-oh, it has triple wekness for rock-type! Help! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! But, after all, rock-types are slow. Molzapart would just kill them with Blizzard or Ice beam before it could attack Molzapart. No problem, but what about fire/rock type like Maccargo? Doesn’t matter. Molzapart doesn’t need weakness to win in one hit. Forget it, rock-types! Molzapart is much stronger!
There is another thing to say. Molzapart can’t be thought TM and HM moves, although it learns Fly on its own.



Rainteicune
English
Rainteicune was born after Molzapart. Here’s how it was born.
Raikou, Entei and Suicune were on their race around the Johto world when a terrible thing happened; they all crashed into each other with the power of a gigantic car crash. They knocked out, of course, and they all died there. But how was there suddenly a Rainteicune?
Suicune died first. It turned into a pool of dirty water. But when the water touched Entei’s body, he died, too, and turned into ashes. But just as the water touched Entei, it touched Raikou, wich was still alive, but couldn’t move or even open its eyes. Without thinking, it let of its last Thunder in defense, and then died.
You know, nearly dead people are given electric shocks on hospitals to turn them to life. And Raikou’s Thunder it much more powerful than Hospital machine’s Thundershock. The little life left in Raikou went with the Thunder straight to the place where Suicune’s water and Entei’s body touched each other and Entei died. A Thunder with some life in it can turn dead pokémon back to life. And that is exactly what happened. Raikou, Entei and Suicune mixed because the Thunder came from one pokémon and it hit two dead ones at a time. And now, Rainteicune was born!
A trainer named Alan Ketchum was just getting his first pokémon, a Charmander. He had gotten the choice of Charmander, Chikorita or Totodile. He chose Charmander because his father, Professor Ash Ketchum, got it from the egg of his Charizard and a female one that was its friend, or rather girlfriend. He got a Master ball from his father, wich couldn’t decide wich pokémon he should use the Master ball on, so he told his son to find one of the legendary pokémon and catch it with the Master ball and then use the pokémon to catch the others with regular pokéballs. So Alan went from Pallet town where his father’s and the other scientist’s lab was placed. It once belong to Professor Oak, wich had given Ash his Pikachu, but now Ash shared the lab with some other scientists and they researched new pokémon. He went to Viridian, then Pewter city, then Cerulean, where his mother Misty was a Gym leader once, then to Saffron and to Goldenrod in Johto with the Magnet train. Now, Alan was searching for Raikou, Entei or Suicune and eventually ran into Rainteicune. He became scared because he thougt it was a Suicune because of the head, although its body and legs looked stupid. He only had his Charmander but remembered no pokémon can get out of the Master ball, no matter how strong it is, so Alan just threw the Master ball and Rainteicune was caught! He pointed his pokédex at the pokéball with Rainteicune, but he almost dropped the pokédex when it told him “this is a mysterius pokémon that is fire/water/electric-type. No data avaiable.” “Mysterius pokémon,”Alan told himself, staring at the pokéball. “No data avaiable. That only means one thing; I caught a new pokémon, a mix between Raikou, Entei and Suicune. Must be something like Molzapart. Better not release it from the pokéball.”
But now you say wait a minute. How did he know about Molzapart? His father, Ash Ketchum, was actually one of the scientists that had the dream about Molzapart. Alan had even seen Molzapart. He knew everything about it. Now, let’s continue with the story.
Alan stood there for a long time, staring at the pokéball and thinking, until suddenly...
“Char man der?”
“Oh, Charlie!”(It was the nickname of his Charmander.)
Alan suddenly went happier than he had ever been in his life. His first pokémon capture, a new pokémon and best of all, they were safe. He would never have a better reason to be happy. He was so happy that he took Charlie and hugged him until he noticed that the flame on Charlie’s tail was burning his shirt. Then he went back to Pallet town.
Alan opened the door and called: “Dad! Dad! I need to show you something! Oh, hi, Pamela. Hi, Aron.” Pamela was a female Persian and Aron was a male Arcanine. They were just pets. Alan bougt Pamela a month ago in a pet shop as Meowth and on the way home they saw a trainer using Fire stone on his Growlithe. The resulting Arcanine didn’t seem to like Pamela.
“Hey,”the trainer suddenly said, “I challenge you to a pokémon battle. My Arcanine against your Meowth!”
“Sorry,” Alan said, “I’m not a pokémon trainer. This Meowth is just a pet. I’m too young to train pokémon yet.”
“Oh. Sorry. I thought- No, Aron!”
The Arcanine suddenly began attacking Pamela. She got out of the way.
“Aron, Stop!”the trainer yelled and took out a pokéball. But Arcanine didn’t seem to want to go inside a pokéball in the middle of battling a cat. It took the pokéball with its jaws and put it on the ground, then used Flamethrower on it. The pokéball melt.
“Ack! Do you happen to have a pokéball?” the trainer said.
“Of course not,”Alan replied, “I told you, I’m not a trainer.”
“I thought not. But this was my last one. I need to buy some more... you know, I got it in a trade and it won’t obey me now it has evolved.”
“He’ll kill Pamela! Go to the market quickly and buy a pokéball to recall it! I’ll defend her,”Alan said.
Pamela actually did well defending herself. She used Scratch and Bite and evaded all of Aron’s attacks. Finally, the trainer came back.
“You won´t belive this! They don’t have any pokéballs and I can’t go to the next city without a pokémon! It’s my only one!”
Aron was tired and while he was catching his breath, Pamela got behind him and bit his tail. Aron Roared, but then fainted. Pamela evolved into Persian.
“Sorry,”Alan said “But...”
The trainer was crying.
“I... I evolved Aron because he hated me. He missed his original trainer... you know, Growlithes are very loyal. Pokémon’s personality changes when they evolve, I just hoped he would forget his old trainer. But now I remember... the trainer was trying to beat some trainer that had rock pokémon. I traded him my Totodile but he said he wanted his Growlithe back when he had beaten the trainer and had time to come back. And now... I’ve been thinking... Evolving a pokémon is like killing it. And another trainer’s pokémon... he would never evolve my Totodile without asking me... I feel like a killer. I’m no better than Team rocket.”
“They aren’t that bad after all. They tried to steal my father’s Pikachu many times. But he said they aren’t evil. Mostly just funny.”said Alan.
“Really? But what should I do? Maybe catch another Growlithe?”
“Don’t even think about it. Dad says that a good trainer can always reconize his own pokémon from another, even from its twin.”said Alan.
“Who is your father, anyway?”
“My father is Professor Ash Ketchum.”
“Really? The best pokémon trainer ever? The one with the Pikachu? Has he discovered any new pokémon?”
“No,”Alan lied. He wasn’t supposed to tell anyone about Molzapart.
“You’re lying. I saw him talking to another scientist wether to call some newly discovered pokémon Molzapart or Unodostres.”
“Okay. I’ll tell you, but don’t tell anyone else. They discovered a new pokémon called Molzapart or Unodostres. It’s a mix between Articuno, Zapzos, Moltres and Mew. It’s the strongest pokémon and no trainer can catch it. There’s only one. It only appears for trainers that respect it. It’s fire/electric/ice/flying/psychic type and can know five attacks at a time. I’ve seen it once... it has Moltres’s head, Zapdos’s body and Articuno’s wings and tailfeathers. It was beutiful.”
“But hey, what can I do with Aron?”
“I think it’s best for the trainer not to get him as Arcanine. Don’t even let him see Aron. If he doesn’t have any memories of him as Arcanine, he feels better. I’ll take Aron as a pet. Anyway, tell him where he is so he knows he’s safe. Also tell him how you feel and catch another pokémon that is not a Growlithe to trade back for your Totodile. Have it a Fire-type, anyway. Well, I can sure understand if he gets really sad, but I’m sure he will forgive you. And I’ll ask my Dad if there is any way to devolve pokémon and get their old personality back. I won’t forget it.”
“Okay. Thank you. Hey, when is your birthday?”
“9. September.”
“And how old are you?”
“I’m 9.”
“Will you start training pokémon in September, then?”
“Suppose I will.”
“Hey, you give me your phone number and I’ll give you mine. I’m always finding cool stuff that I don’t need. I’ll give it all to you.”
“Okay. Friends, then?”
“Yes. Friends. I’m Peter Hanks. Nice to meet you.”
“Alan Ketchum. Nice to meet you too.”
Then they heard something. They checked. It was a Jynx attacking a Pikachu.
“Why doesn’t Pikachu move?”Peter asked.
“It’s frozen solid. Dad... Hey! That’s Dad’s Pikachu! We gotta do something!”
Alan took a leap trying to grab Pikachu but then Jynx used Blizzard. Alan fell like a stone statue and Peter relized that he was frozen too.
“I wish Aron weren’t fainted. It could melt Jynx and thaw them out. But...”
“Purrrrrsian.”
“Hey! Pamela! I... I know you’re only supposed to be a pet, but... Bite! Now!”
Pamela bit Jynx once and Jynx ran away. Peter put Alan on Pamela’s back and held Pikachu. Then they hurried to Ash’s lab.
“Help!”
Ash came quickly.
“Who are you?”
“A Jynx attacked your Pikachu and your son. They are frozen.”
“Oh, this needs...”Ash took out a pokéball. “Cyndaquil! I choose you!”
A Cyndaquil came out of the pokéball.
“Cyndaquil! Thaw them out with Flame wheel!”
“Cynda! Quil!”
“Pi... ka... CHU!!!!!!”
Pikachu had certainly been in the middle of using Thunderbolt when Jynx freeze it. The Thunderbolt hit Ash right in the face. He fell to the ground and looked exactly like on a photo on the wall. It was funny.
“Now, how can I thank you for rescuing them? Are you a pokémon trainer?”
“Yes, I am, sir.”
“Then take this Cyndaquil. It will be a good partner. Well, It was supposed to be a choice for Alan as starting pokémon, but I have another level 5 fire pokémon that evolves two times and I’ll never give that one to strangers.”
Then Peter left with his new pokémon.
But now, Ash turned to Alan.
“Hi, Alan. Caught any pokémon yet?”
“Yes. A mysterius pokémon that is fire/water/electic-type and no data is avaiable in my pokédex.”
“Do you mean... you caught a new pokémon?”
“Yes. A mix between Raikou, Entei and Suicune that I’m going to name Rainteicune. But if it acts like Molzapart, it should be safe to let it out of the ball in the testing room. It doesn’t have psychic powers so it can’t teleport away or attack us through the glass.”
The testing room was a big room with strong walls. There was no door, only a “window” to another room where the scientists could watch what happened and a small hole in the glass with a holder just below. It was made to put a pokéball on the holder and the beam could get into the room and form a pokémon through the hole but the pokémon couldn’t go back unless it would be recalled in the pokéball. Alan put the pokéball with Rainteicune on the holder and it appeared in the room. It just stood there.
“Rainteicune? That’s you. Use Ember - now!”
Alan wasn’t even hoping Rainteicune would do anything, but it obeyed.
“It’s burning the floor.”Ash wasn’t delighted.
“Okay. Rainteicune – Bubblebeam! Now!”
The room suddenly filled with bubbles.
“Alan! Remove those bubbles! Rainteicune can jump through the glass at any minute!”
“Rainteicune! Thundershock! On all the bubbles!”
Alan was happy that Rainteicune only seemed to be a normal pokémon. The bubbles disappeared one by one.
“What is your fourth attack, Rainteicune?”Alan asked. Rainteicune shot some water from its mouth.
“Oh. So you know water gun too.”
Then Ash and the scientists went on researching Rainteicune, but when they were finished Ash came to Alan and said:
“Okay. Then it’s yours. It’s level 10.”
Alan was delighted. Now Rainteicune was really his pokémon. And Rainteicune seemed to be happy too.
Rainteicune’s attacks:
Level Attack
--- Bubble
5 Water gun
6 Thundershock
7 Ember
10 Bubblebeam
11 Spark
12 Flame wheel
18 Fire spin
22 Surf (Yes, it actually learns an HM move by itself too.)
23 Thunderbolt
24 Flamethrower
30 Rain dance
36 Hydro pump
37 Thunder
38 Fire blast
Okay, they found out Rainteicune’s attacks. And Alan went on with his new pokémon. But are there no Raikou, Entei and Suicune anymore? Yes, but not the original ones. They died and mixed into Rainteicune. That’s because these days, most trainers know how to clone pokémon and make a more powerful one, like done with Mewtwo, but much more simple. All trainers that catch Raikou, Entei and Suicune clone them and release the originals. And the clones have higher status, but the truth is that they aren’t any more powerful. Remember Molzapart? It was so strong that it didn’t allow a trainer to control it. The more powerful clones are like that, they don’t use all their power to attack. They don’t escape from their trainer like Molzapart would do only because of the same reason as kids don’t escape from their parents. The clones are born with the trainer in front of them and just can’t go. Molzapart, however, was born wild and has no will to stay with any trainer.
Alan had his first trainer battle using Rainteicune when Rainteicune had reached level 40 and learned all its attacks. The moveset now was Surf, Rain dance, Thunder and Fire blast. Charlie had reached level 15. The trainer was one of the trainers that had cloned Raikou, Entei and Suicune and his name was Roger. His Raikou, Entei and Suicune were all level 40, just like Rainteicune.
Alan first sent out Charlie to make him gain some experience. Roger, of course, sent out Suicune because water beats fire.
“This won’t work. Charlie, come back! Go, Rainteicune!”
“Rainteicuuuune!” This was of course Rainteicune’s cry.
“Hey! What is that? You’re cheating! Only pokémon can fight in a pokémon battle!”
“This is a pokémon. Look!” And Alan pointed his pokédex at Rainteicune.
“Rainteicune, mystic pokémon. This pokémon was first caught by a young trainer at route 46. It is a mix between Raikou, Entei and Suicune.”
Rainteicune’s data had of course been added to Alan’s pokédex, but Roger’s pokédex only said “no data avaiable”.
“Your pokédex needs to be updated,”Alan said, laughing at Roger’s look inside.
“Okay. Suicune – Rain dance!”
“Rainteicune – Thunder!”
“Suiicuune!”
“Rain... tei...CUUUUUNE!”
And Suicune was off.
“Charlie, it’s your turn!”
“Go! Entei!
Entei knows Stomp. Charlie could never survive that.
“Charlie, come back! Go! Rainteicune!”
“Entei – Stomp!”
“Rainteicune – Surf!”
“Enteiii!”
“Raiinteicune!”
And Entei was off, but Rainteicune had only half of its health.
“Charlie, beat that one!”
“Go! Raikou!”
“Charlie – Flamethrower!”
“Raikou –Spark!”
“Charman der!”
“Raiiikou!”
Charlie hit Raikou, but became paralyzed.
“Oh no! Charlie, come back! Go! Rainteicune!”
“Raikou – Thunder!”
“Rainteicune – Fire blast!”
“Rai... KOU!”
“Rainteicuune!”
Rainteicune went down to 2 Hit Points, but Raikou fainted.
“Okay, thanks for the match… gotta go!”
And Alan ran to the next Pokémon Center.
“Hello, dear. What can I do for you?”
“Just heal my pokémon quick… here.” Alan released Rainteicune and Charlie from the pokéballs.
“What pokémon is that?”
“It’s Rainteicune and it was just found,” Alan said. “But I worry about Charlie, he’s paralyzed.”
“Oh, a new pokémon. You know, I’m a nurse, so I’m supposed to know every pokémon. It would be embarassing if a trainer with normal pokémon comes and I don’t know what pokémon it is… well, better heal the poor things.” And she took them into the room but came back suddenly.
“Your… your Charmander is evolving… I thought you’d want to know…”
“CHARLIE!!!” Alan yelled and hurried into the room. He didn’t want the same thing to happen to Charlie as happened to poor Aron. But it was too late, Charlie, wich was trying not to evolve, had evolved into Charmeleon. Every pokémon tries not to evolve, but the next form, that was in the Land of the Pokémon not yet born, is trying to make it evolve to finally get to the real world of Pokémon already born. That’s why evolution takes time, but the second form is stronger than the first one and the third form is stronger than the second form, so the next stage always wins and the other pokémon goes to the Land of the Evolved Pokémon and they will never get back to Earth. And believe me; NO pokémon is happy there, even though that land is no worse than Earth. They feel like their trainer killed them for being weak. Why? Because if the trainer helps, he can stop the pokémon from evolving very easily. If the trainer doesn’t, it is like saying “Oh yeah, finally is that weakling evolving”. But back to the story, Alan was too late to help, but as he was going to, Charlie became the happiest pokémon in the Land of the Evolved Pokémon.
Alan had to put the Charmeleon into a PC box because he was ten minutes getting it back into the ball after once releasing it, and it didn’t obey anyway.

It's okay, guys. You can't have been this bad.
 
Some piece of fiction I wrote two years ago. If you wonder why I never write....

Chapter one: Tests and Tribulations

“Okay, next up, agent X509. Real name…Ai Stone.” a man’s voice boomed on the loudspeaker.

A red-haired girl looked up from the novel she had been reading. She put the volume down slowly on the uncomfortable, steel chair, where she had been sitting for almost six hours. Dr. Robert was waiting at the door.

“Ai Stone?” the doctor asked, his shadowy hair falling behind him.

“Yes sir, I am.” Ai said.

Dr. Robert motioned her to follow him through the wooden door. When they emerged, they found themselves in a forest-like setting. A mysterious-looking cave was up on a stony cliff.

Her studying would pay off. A cluster of bats flew overhead. She started to glide, following the group.

“Excellent.” Dr. Robert cried.

She landed, swift as a cat, on the gravel trail. The bats flew into a small cavern, their home.

She then felt something pierce her skin.

“The bullets.” she moaned, fumbling in her pockets.

She got shot with more of the invisible shells, while she was looking for the heat-seeking goggles. Her hand hit plastic.

“Yes!” she cried, grabbing the specs.

She pulled on the glasses. She could now see where the bullets were. She started to try to dodge the pellets. Two hit her right shoulder. It burned with extreme pain.

She collapsed to the earth.

No, if I don’t continue…I’ll be disqualified.

She pulled her body along, while getting bombarded with bullets. Suddenly, the pellets ceased. She struggled to get off the ground, but failed.

“I’ll help.” Dr. Robert said, his long, jet black hair blowing in the artificial wind.

His pale fingertips shone purple. He delicately stroked the wounds. The abrasions on Ai’s skin started to flicker out of existence. She arose from the ground, a little pain from where the wounds once were.

“You will learn how to do that soon enough.” the doctor laughed.

Ai tore off the specs, since no more bullets were coming.

Suddenly, the room burst into flames. She was ready. A small geyser of water erupted from her hands. Some of the blaze was dowsed, but the room was still an inferno.

The geyser soon turned into a wave of water. The fires were put out. Soot littered the area. Quadruped androids cleaned up the area.

Another piece, but this is from a year ago

“Aurora!”
“Why’d you have to wake me up?” I snarled, wiping away of white fur from my brown eyes.
“It’s a beautiful day.” The grey wolf standing next to me giggled.
“Fine, Anastasia, if you insist.” I said sarcastically, my fur wet from the thick, white powder I had been sleeping in.
“Don’t call me that.” Anastasia groaned at my sarcastic comment, ‘Oh, and Kira’s coming with us to the river.”
I growled, making my cream-colored fur stand up like I had been struck by lightning. I couldn’t stand that wolf.
“I can’t be that bad.” Anna said, shaking off some of the powder from her dark fur.
“Look, here she comes now.” I moaned, seeing a small, almost-polar-bearish creature approaching us.
“Hi guys!” the creature screamed, “It’s me!”
“Hey Kira.” Anna said, trying to be nice to the obnoxious wolf.
I just snorted at Anastasia. Trying to be kind to Kira would take a lot of practice. I padded off in the opposite direction.
“Aurora! Come back!” Kira howled, “We’re going to the river!”
“I know.” I mumbled, walking back to the duo.
They were talking about anything they could think of as they walked. I kept myself calm by trying to get a stick out of my tangled fur.
“Hey look, we’re here!” I cried in relief, brushing some dried leaves off of me.
I couldn’t stand their chatter anymore. I tried to storm off, but I accidently stumbled on a patch of ice and made a splash into the river.
I shivered. The water was freezing. There were many small chunks of ice that must have broken off of the land. One chunk of ice hit me. It stung.
“Ouch!” I coughed, “That hurt.”
I was getting drowsy. The last thing I saw was the snowy summits of the majestic, indigo mountains.
“Wake up!”
I felt someone ram into my side. Surprised, I opened my eyes weakly.
“What happened?” I asked, dazed.
“I just saved your life.” Kira boasted.
I looked around. I saw the reflections of the mountains in the clear water. Nobody was around except for Kira and Anna.
“Thanks, I guess.” I muttered, hoping only Kira and Anna heard me.
“You’re welcome.” Kira giggled, brushing some of the water droplets off of my head.
 
If I could only find all of my utterly horrific DBZ fanfiction. They're really, really bad. One of them is about Freeza's sister.

The others are basically just a twelve year old faggot writing about other faggots. Seriously. Everything I wrote with like ... gay. Trunks/Goten, Gohan/Trunks, Goku/Vegeta...

Oh god and then there's the Digimon stuff that I wrote which is perhaps older than or maybe contemporaneous with the DBZ shit.

I wish you could see it. It was deliciously bad.
 
Hm, what abominable ancient horrors shall I visit upon ye today...

This is the oldest thing I can find; I am vaguely aware of "fiction" I wrote as early as first grade, but it isn't on the computer and, with any luck, is lost forever. This particular monstrosity, started around 2001 iirc, is... basically a shameless ripoff of Brian Jacques's Redwall series, with elves and dragons and Pokémon and god knows what else thrown in, and evil Sentret and and and bejeebus cries I don't even want to think about it. I even had plans to publish the thing when I was done, just "replacing the Pokémon with other stuff" and not particularly concerned with altering everything I'd stolen from Mr. Jacques. The part that makes me the saddest is that I wrote twelve, maybe thirteen whole (albeit short) chapters of this drivel, and that's the farthest I've ever gotten with one story. :/ As I've said before, apparently I need to be a twelve-year-old plagiarist hack to get any real work done.

...I'm not even going to reread this. I just c/p'ed what looked like one small, cohesive section of what probably wasn't the worst part ever without looking at much more than the first and last sentences, and even that made me die a little inside. Jesus Christ.

"Eeeyyyaaaggghhhhh!! No, my lord, no, don't kill me-"
The stoat Fringeytail fell to the ground, Stalfir's spear sticking from his middle like a toothpick in a finger sandwich. The Sentret turned away from the carcass on the ground, neatly freeing his weapon in the same deft movement. He faced his horde, smiling at them. "Anyone else want to disagree with me? Speak up now if you want to head back west, where we came from, or keep your sorry lives. Just say so, and you can join your pal Fringeytail there. He's not going east with us." The hordesoldiers became quiet. "Anyone at all?" Silence. Stalfir wiped the spearblade contemptuously on Fringeytail's kilt and snarled at his followers. "Really. All of you should know better by now. No one argues with Lord Stalfir the Cruel." He turned again, standing on his tail to make sure he was seen and heard. "Look all around you, you sniveling, milkslopping scum. Is this not the greatest horde you have ever seen? Just look at all whom I command: elves and humans, ferrets and foxes, stoats and weasels, rats and Pokemon, even mighty dragons bend to my will. And do you know why that is?" Here he pointed at an elf and a Wartortle, two of his commanding officers. "How about you, Deadear and Notail, do you know why?"
"Um, er, because no one argues wit' Lord Stalfir th' Cruel?" Notail replied rather dumbly.
"Because, er, well, yore a fearsome warrior that takes no prisoners, an' we'd better do everythin' you say or you'll kill us?" Deadear added.
Stalfir sighed and looked up at the sky as if seeking patience. "Ah, close enough. The reason that there isn't a ruffian out there who wouldn't get on his (or her) knees to beg for inclusion in my army is because I have been slaying and stealing all my life. Sure, some of you may be older than me, many years older in some cases, and think that this is no big thing. But when you are born and bred a killer, practice nothing but cruelty and savagery wherever you go, actually use your cunning as well as your strength, you go about doing things right. Some of you should know this; about a score of you were horde leaders once."
A rat called Gevlak, Deadear and eighteen others nodded vigorously. "Oh, yes, Chief," said Gevlak. "A true 'orde commander knows 'is stuff an' eats, sleeps an' breathes it. 'E don't show no one no mercy, or it'd look like 'e was goin' soft. Kill anyone, man or beast, who don't like th' way 'e wants to approach summat, even if it's 'is own soldier. I did that, an' that's 'ow I got to be such a good chief; I did that, alright, but yew showed me yew could do it better."
The Sentret leader nodded sagely. "Well said, Gevlak. You are wise and valuable, which is why you are a Captain in my horde. A hordeleader must do all those things, and one other thing you forgot to mention, rat. He must also be feared by all, victims and army alike. Do you know the reason that calm, innocent villagers run from us when we are near, or squeal with fright when they merely hear my name?"
"Duh, cuz we'z durdy an smellz bad, Chief?" asked a particularly stupid human. "Izzat why?" Some of the soldiers laughed, while others took offense at the remark. After some arguing a large fight broke out; ten were slain and at least fifty were injured before Stalfir's voice cut through the din.
"Enough!" he cried. "I will have no more of this. We have talked long enough, and have strayed too far from the point of the discussion. I will not have my horde slaying itself simply because I go off on a tangent without noticing. Come! We march east!" Stalfir hopped down off his tail and buckled on his helmet. He waved the spear eastward, the signal for his horde to march. And march east they did.
I *do* actually reread my old stuff and cringe at it from time to time, and I probably will give this another proper look one of these days--a few years ago I toyed with revising it and making it not the horrible train wreck abortion it currently is--but not now. I'm not feeling brave enough. If you'll pardon me, I'm going to go crawl into a corner and weep.
 
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Hm. I'm lucky I cannot find the horrid fanfiction I wrote when I was eight.

I can still find the horrible mixes i made at age nine, though. Wailygon wants to rape my eyes.
 
In the early/mid-'90s, I wrote a bunch of (mostly) original stories... mostly when I was between 5 and 9 years old. Generally centered around creatures called "Numnums," involved me getting superpowers, and had monsters based on random things like Kirby, centipedes, alligators, Barney, and cafeteria food. Later on I tried to make "more serious" stories set in the same universe as these, which of course didn't work very well.

The first fanfiction I ever wrote was around 1998/1999... a Pokémon story that was extremely long (60+ chapters), very stupid, and made very little sense.

One of the major villains was "Chugachu," a skyscraper-sized demonic Pikachu with bat wings, claws, and glowing red eyes. He was Ghost/Electric/Flying type, which somehow made him weak to Psychic attacks (I thought Ghost was weak to Psychic back then, probably because all the other ghosts were Ghost/Poison.) For some reason Geno from Super Mario RPG was in the story, providing "Weird Capes" which allowed their wearers to grow huge (so they could fight Chugachu.)

At one point, all five of the R/B/Y legendaries randomly appeared in a swamp... and all except Mewtwo got their asses kicked within the span of a single chapter. Mew especially--it was sat on by a giant Kirby-type creature and then fart-launched all the way over to the next continent. There was also a "Mewthree"... which was completely unimportant to the plot. It got its butt kicked after a single battle and never showed up again.

The main character caught a Missingno. somewhere around Viridian City, and his starting Pokémon was a Food-type named "Ramenoodles" (which evolved into Spagghettor.) In addition to Food-types, there were also "Glitch," "Slug," "Alien," and "Kirby"-type Pokémon--Slug was weak against Food, because many Food-type attacks contained salt... and of course, Food was weak against Kirby.

Misty was implied to have molested her Starmie, which was why it would always switch places with Psyduck so it never had to leave its Pokéball. Speaking of Misty, she was hypnotized and made into "the queen of the glitches" after she somehow found her way into "the Glitch World," where all the glitchy Pokémon live. She also ended up killing Psyduck later on by holding its head under in a swimming pool for a few minutes, which led to her dad (who was an old mad-scientist type guy) complaining about how he never should have let her train Pokémon.

At one point, a Togepi evolved into Ho-Oh... yeah, this was all written before Gold/Silver came out, back when the only 2nd-gen Pokémon anyone knew about were Togepi, Ho-Oh, Marill, and Snubbull and nobody had any idea what types/evolutions/attacks any of them had. There was also a Lickitung evolution, which was somehow better than the one we actually got in D/P even though it was made up by a 7th-grader. And, last but not least, Mewtwo gained the ability to transmit pornographic images into people's minds, which he used as an attack... at one point in the story, he used it to knock out the giant Dragonite from that early episode of the anime with the lighthouse.

Fortunately, most of the really bad stuff I wrote when I was younger (like the Pokémon story mentioned above) is long gone from my computer and can't be found anywhere on the Internet anymore... if it was ever there to begin with--the stuff I wrote before the Pokémon story goes all the way back to early 90s, when I didn't even have a computer that could connect to the Internet yet.
 
Well, first off there's LOLAAC, which can be read on this CoD thread. As the date suggests, it was written around mid-2008, but I also happen to have another chapter-and-a-half (this was all I got to) of an even earlier fic. Hilariously, it made me feel more ashamed of myself than anything else I had experienced up until that point - mostly because of the shameless mauling of a certain canon's personality. This same character would show up in a later fic where he would proceed from better to bearable over the course of the story, but for now... yuck.

The fic was called Doing-Double and was slapped together when I had nothing better to do at a fifth-grade Christmas party. OH THE SHAME.

"The noise was deafening. Two Trainers were fighting for the title of Trainer King, a kid who calls himself 'Neos' and myself. It was a double battle, and Neos was down to his final two Pokemon, which he hadn't sent out yet. I, on the other hand, still had 4 Pokemon yet to fight. He clutched the final two Pokeballs smirking.

Both Pokeballs were purple.

Gasps flew around the 'stadium' faster than a Beedrill. I squinted at them, and then it clicked - Master Balls. Time seemed to slow down, all eyes on the two purple-and-white Pokéballs. You could hear a feather drop. Slowly, very slowly, the two Pokeballs made contat. The resulting blast of smoke and sound did nothing to muffle the sheer amazingness of the Pokemon inside.

Dialga and Palkia.

This revelation was made even more dramatic due to the fact Neos' other four Pokemon were the infamous annoying birdy things - Pidgey, Hoothoot, Starly, and last and least Taillow. THESE Pokemon, however - Dialga and Palkia - were both ridiculously high leveled. I shot a look at my Pokemon. Both were looking right back at me. If I was going to do it, I might as well do it now.

"Charizard! Salamence! DragonBreath, on Palkia! Go!"

Both Pokemon swiveled towards Palkia. As they shot a beam headed towards the Legendary Pokemon, Neos barked a command I couldn't hear. Whatever it was, it was very strong. The four attacks made contact at exactly the same place, exactly the same moment, resulting in a sonicboom of such momentum that dust erupted from the ground like volcanoes. I leaped onto my Charizard Frenzyflame, prepared to make a getaway. Of course, I couldn't do that.

It was done for me.

The playground vanished. Neos vanished. I turned to the side and saw a clone of myself. Then everything went black, time-space tunnel and all." I explained.

Raine nodded, satisfied. "I assume that's why I'm a Bagon and you're a Charmander." she said. "Well, ya know, your name is real unusual 'round here. So we'll rename you! Wait here." And she walked off.

Later she came back and told me: "Okay, now on, you're Risen, kay? Effective immediately."

-X-X-X-

"So you're lookin' for Dialga and Palkia, huh?" Raine asked me. "Ya thought they'd bring you back, huh? It might not look like what it was when you left, y'know." I rolled my eyes. "No way. Nobody I know would do anything bad. Except maybe... nah. Nobody." I said.

A man with spiky blue hair walked past. "Neos?" I shouted. I began to run towards him, but Raine stopped me.
"Whaddya think you're doing?"
"Going to talk to Neos." I said. I mean, really, I was walking towards him and I was talking.
"There's no Neos here! Just Cyrus!"

{Giratina's current-day notes: The bricks are in the back closet if you want to use them on me.}

"Who's Cyrus?"
"That's Cyrus." Raine pointed at Neos/Cyrus.
"See?"
"That's Neos!"
"Nooooo, that's Cyrus, and he's gonna catch us if you don't shut up!"

Neos/Cyrus turned around.

"Charmander and Bagon. Don't need 'em. Giovanni, Archie, talk to me." And with that, he walked away.

{Giratina's notes from the present day: Yes. I know. It's a Team EveryEvilTeamOnThePlanet plot. Feel free to brick me viciously.}

"Cyrus!" Raine said after he left.
"Neos!" I argued.
"Cyrus!"
"Neos!"
"Neos!"
"Cyrus!"
Raine smirked. "Gotcha."

I blinked. "I was... wrong."

-X-X-X-

A Charizard opened his eyes.

"Oww..."
"Oh dear." A Salamence groaned.

"Hey... are you okay?" Asked the Charizard.

"No." Came the reply.
"Way to be a pessimist."
"Way to be an optimist."

{Giratina's notes from the present day: I never got past there, thank goodness.}
 
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