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Misreadings and stuff

I seem to misread the entire structure of short sentences, recently.

Like recently I have read "Are we not" as "We are not"

agh, why am I so awkward?
 
Why does my mind go to wrong places? I read "some poems by me" as "some penis by me".

My brain is broken. :/
 
Yesterday I was at a bookstore, there was some manga called "Wild Ones" and for a split second I thought it said "Wild Oreos". Wat.
 
earlier today my best friend misheard me saying "It's a pair of kinky boot beasts!" as "It's a pair of kinky boobies!"
she promptly stared at me quite nervously until i explained
 
"Celtics" as "cocks". To be fair, it was from a distance and my eyesight is pretty horrible even with glasses. Also I'm really fucking exhausted, which probably contributed.
 
Playgerism as Play orgasim.
Booze and Drugs as Ooze and Hugs.
Lighthouse as lighthose.
My friend texted me RUSHIT?, and I thought he was saying R U Shit?, and I got really annoyed until he explained that he was asking me if I was in a rush, because my grammar was awful.
 
Keep on reading "Mai" (As in the forum member) as "Mal" (As in Malcolm Reynolds from Firefly). Fangirlism? Maybe.
 
I was double checking a post I put up on another forums.

What it said, "You saying I can't be witty and snarky?"

What I read, "You said I couldn't be wetty and spooky?"

What the shitthefuck?
 
You remember other people's faces?
as
You remember other people's faeces?

I'm just like WHAT?
 
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