The QUILTBAG Club (formerly the LGBT club)

[Saith]

Nothing's really been happening for me, alas.
Although, I guess now I can vent about a tiny little thing. I told my mother about my applications for a bunch of receptionist jobs, and her reaction was 'oh god, Aaron, you're gonna be wearing skirts next!". My reaction was 'Uh huh, love you mother, gotta run, dude's home'.

Um, about Wales meet-ups though, I'll probably try to make it when I have some spare cash lying around. As it stands, with Christmas and that, I'm going to have a hard time even doing anything.

On the upside though, had an amazing night last night with all my mates who I hadn't seen in soooooo long. I also got my best mate laid (finally!), which felt good. B)
What felt better was seeing the Facebook comment from his new girlfriend (maybe!) complaining that he couldn't get it up. That was fun. :D

But uh, gaystuff... Gaystuff... Well it turns out, a good friend goes to Cardiff uni, and he said he'll show me around the nightlife (which I still shamefully haven't experienced gah) when we both have the cash. =)

 

[Automata heart]

not much for me, but it just hit me while watching videos of cosplayers i like coming out and talking about sexuality that i actually came out to my mother and that i am actually pans. (that i knew and was comfertable with, but because i have always felt this way and having a name for it was just having a name for it) shits weird.

 

[Phantom]

So, my mother found out by accident.

I didn't want to tell my mom, she found out, and was sort of pissed but had no reason to.

See we had gone to the family cabin and my cell phone wasn't working so she loaned me hers. I used it to go on fb, and check some things. Well I was stupid and forgot to log out. The next morning my mom comes up to me telling me, "Why are you lying to *name? You don't need to lie to make friends" then she went on a rant. And I'm standing there like, wait, what the hell happened what are you talking about.

Turns out she'd seen I was still logged on so she helped herself to my PM's where I was 'coming out' to my friend. My mom was under the impression that I was lying to get attention or something. I told her I wasn't lying, her response was "yeah right". I stand my ground and said, "No, Mom, I'm not. I seriously am interested in women too." And she just gave me this 'whatever look'. I then told her, "Proof? Remember *name? We were really good friends... really good friends. In fact she was my girlfriend, for months. We broke up, but are still friends." I tried to explain that I was asexual biromantic, and she just looked at me like I'd taken crazy pills. She didn't get it, nor did she bother to get it.

My mom just left the conversation hanging and I still get this 'yeah right' look and rolled eyes like I was lying for attention or something.

That's not as bad as it could have been I guess, she still doesn't seem to believe me at all. But it was wrong for her to go through my facebook messages. Talk about invasion of privacy??! I was actually more pissed of the fact she intruded on my PMs rather than her response to what they said.

 

[Saith]

Because this is the cardiff thread i need some clubbing advice
Im heading to Glam new years eve with some family so imwondering how strict the dress code is, how cheap the dribks etc etc
i know its not a gaybar but i just figured it might be relevent :)

 

[Harlequin]

Glam's iffy when it comes to drink prices. Sometimes it's all right and sometimes it's expensive, and given that it's NYE it's probably going to be expensive. Usually you can get fishbowl cocktaily things for like £5, and depending on how much you usually drink two to three of those is probably normal (although it depends on your level of predrink I guess!). Dress code is usually all right, I mean I typically go wearing a pair of nice-ish jeans and a nice t-shirt (I've worn this exact outfit to Glam before, although this particular photo was taken in Reflex (please ignore the level of mess in this photo, I was very buzzed at this point, and for clarification I'm the guy in the middle)). As far as shoes go like canvass shoes or converses or those stupid pissy slipper shoes that douchey hipsterfags like to wear should be all right.

I've never really had problems in Glam before but I don't know how LGBT+ friendly it is because all of my friends are straight and I don't particularly stick out as LGBT+, but I think in general Cardiff is okay, so you shouldn't have any problems... Glam is an all right place, too. AFAIK there are like three bars there, two on the first floor and then one on the second, but there may be a fourth somewhere I've never seen. Smoking area is right up the top. There's always a queue for the men's toilets but it's nowhere near as bad as Tiger... Toilets are slippery, though. It's lethal.

That's about it really, I think, for my knowledge of Glam. Oh and my friend got banned for a while because he tried to smuggle out some stuff, it was lols.

ANYWAY so to add more Cardiff into this thread... I'm going to be in Cardiff from the 31st onwards, although on NYE I'll be going to Solus in the SU for the NYE thing and ... yeah. But then I'm in Cardiff after that I guess.

 

[Valerunner]

Meetup? I leave on the 7th and will NOT miss this chance.

 

[Saith]

Some pretty cool shit.

Thanks man. I'm not gonna worry about the whole LGBT stuff (ironic seeing as, well, this thread), 'cause I'm just going with some family. Me, a cousin, my sister and her boyfriend. Sort of 'initiating' him, you know?
Now I just hope they take my sister's id. She can't even pronounce the name on it.
Nice-ish jeans and a shirt? That's basically it for me - oh, and trainers? Some places don't like trainers.

But anyway man, thanks for all the great info. <3

 

[Harlequin]

Meetup? I leave on the 7th and will NOT miss this chance.

Yeah there is potential for this I suppose!

Thanks man. I'm not gonna worry about the whole LGBT stuff (ironic seeing as, well, this thread), 'cause I'm just going with some family. Me, a cousin, my sister and her boyfriend. Sort of 'initiating' him, you know?
Now I just hope they take my sister's id. She can't even pronounce the name on it.
Nice-ish jeans and a shirt? That's basically it for me - oh, and trainers? Some places don't like trainers.

But anyway man, thanks for all the great info. <3

yeah no worries! I thought I'd mention the LGBT+ thing anyway just in case anyone's interested. I doubt it'd really be an issue anyway. Trainers should be okay if they're nice trainers! I'm not sure how strict Cardiff is on NYE anyway because as a student I'm rarely in the city then, and like I know sometimes on the weekends dress codes are a bit different because of the number of locals who flood the city. Should be all right though. I'm not sure if Glam is a tickets-only venue this year (I think I heard it may be?? with a fairly expensive entry idk but maybe you've already sorted this) either, but if you have a ticket you should be fine for entry. or something, idek.

but yeah have fun!

 

[Valerunner]

How does the 5th sound? Still no idea where, though. This also goes for anyone in the area.

 

[Phantom]

Aww, Phantom :(

Could have been a lot worse though. She's just in denial is all. One day she'll probably get over it. But as for her looking through your messages, that can't be excused. My mother tries to do that all the time with my texts so I have to be extra careful what I say. I understand how you feel there. You're 21, meaning you shouldn't have to put up with that.
It's an invasion of privacy.

Yeah I know. I told her it's like walking up to a stranger's house and going through their mail. It's not right. Sad thing is this is the second time she's done it. She still insists that I'm lying.

It's getting frustrating, around the holidays at least. Once this weekend is over I won't see her for a while, so no worries.

Lately she's been on "Really? Oh yeah? Would you sleep with a woman?" At that point I headdesk and try to explain asexuality. Then she argues "You've had sex before!" Then I try to explain that I did it for him, it's just that I don't really care for it. "Yeah right".... at this point I feel like calling up my ex and asking a favor, kiss in front of my mom or something... good thing she and I are still really good friends and it wouldn't be too weird. Naw... I think my mom might go into shock or something.

My dad politely has no comment. Neither does anyone else in the family. My uncle happens to be gay so he was pretty supportive, and kind of relieved that he wasn't the only one in the family. For some, like my cousins it hasn't come as a shock. Though they were a little 'unsensitive' if you could even call it that cause even I laughed when one said, "You'd so be the guy." It happens to be the same thing my best friend said when I told him. I didn't take offense they were just trying to make me laugh, and I guess it's kind of true, lol.

 

[Saith]

Worst night ever.
Mate got us kicked out of glam and ditched us in the middle of town.
Fucking hell.

 

[Harlequin]

Worst night ever.
Mate got us kicked out of glam and ditched us in the middle of town.
Fucking hell.

oh, dear. :( if it's any consolation my night didn't go entirely as planned either!

also also also i went on a date sort of thing tonight and it was k.

 

[Dannichu]

Hey kids, I can't help but notice this has fallen to something like the 10th-most-recently-posted-in-club. Which is unacceptable, this is TCoD for god's sake. We're gayer than the Stonewall forums (I don't know if Stonewall actually has forums, but if it does, we'd probably lose in a heterosexuality competition).

So post thiiiiiings! If only for the sake of all the poor confused 13-year-olds who spend their evenings validating themselves by searching the internet for forums with LGBT+ threads, reading every post, and then searching for more. (do kids still do that? Or was it just me who did it in the first place?)

Here's a thing that made me giggle. Okay, it's not actually that nice, but has this rather excellent quote: "We supported civil partnerships because we believe that friendships are good for everybody." Nice one, Sentamu.

 

[Zhorken]

I'm genderqueer and that's the first time I've actually explicitly said that, as far as I know. In particular I feel pretty good about ninety percent of the time, and then for nine of the remaining ten percent, I feel like a girl. But I think that's only because I've never gotten the chance to present as one and I really want that option.

But yeah point is I don't generally want to stand out as a Something Else, I just want to be nothing in particular, and I guess what I was wondering is do these pronouns sound like that? (And be honest; I'm not that attached to these pronouns yet and I won't mind.) They're based on "person", which I like; the only thing I don't really like is that it could get confused with the preposition, but I think context makes them sound so different that it wouldn't really be a problem. Also they sometimes feel really really marked, which is exactly what I don't want, but I'm not sure I can ask for non-binary pronouns and not feel that way sometimes.

EDIT: I guess also any general words on how to come across as a blank would be nice.

 

[Harlequin]

Hey kids, I can't help but notice this has fallen to something like the 10th-most-recently-posted-in-club. Which is unacceptable, this is TCoD for god's sake. We're gayer than the Stonewall forums (I don't know if Stonewall actually has forums, but if it does, we'd probably lose in a heterosexuality competition).

So post thiiiiiings! If only for the sake of all the poor confused 13-year-olds who spend their evenings validating themselves by searching the internet for forums with LGBT+ threads, reading every post, and then searching for more. (do kids still do that? Or was it just me who did it in the first place?)

Here's a thing that made me giggle. Okay, it's not actually that nice, but has this rather excellent quote: "We supported civil partnerships because we believe that friendships are good for everybody." Nice one, Sentamu.

I keep trying! No one ever posts any more, it's sad. :( I'm with you on the trawling for LGBT+ related things, though. I used to do that all the time and I'd imagine young LGBT+ people would still do it. Or similar things. IDK. Just having this here is good too!

I'm genderqueer and that's the first time I've actually explicitly said that, as far as I know. In particular I feel pretty good about ninety percent of the time, and then for nine of the remaining ten percent, I feel like a girl. But I think that's only because I've never gotten the chance to present as one and I really want that option.

But yeah point is I don't generally want to stand out as a Something Else, I just want to be nothing in particular, and I guess what I was wondering is do these pronouns sound like that? (And be honest; I'm not that attached to these pronouns yet and I won't mind.) They're based on "person", which I like; the only thing I don't really like is that it could get confused with the preposition, but I think context makes them sound so different that it wouldn't really be a problem. Also they sometimes feel really really marked, which is exactly what I don't want, but I'm not sure I can ask for non-binary pronouns and not feel that way sometimes.

EDIT: I guess also any general words on how to come across as a blank would be nice.

"Per" and "pers" don't come across as "blank". Nothing is really going to come across as blank because simply by using non-standard pronouns you're going to mark yourself as Something Else.

 

[shy ♡]

It/they/their/them are blank to me, but people seem to have a great dislike for them as legitimate pronouns. :v

 

[Flora]

Oh, I have things. I have loads of silly little anecdotes that continually make me doubt my friend's heterosexuality.

Uh, fiiiirst thing is that...well I should probably provide a little bit of backstory. I have a dry-erase board in my locker that was originally put there as a reminder but has since been commandeered by my crush and our other friend. Crush wrote "*other friend* <3's *friend's crush*" for whatever reason, and later when Jeanine (screw this whole crush business it's not like she's gonna find this place) noticed I semi-jokingly wrote "no one <3's me" underneath she erased it and wrote "Jeanine <3's Rachel." noooot entirely sure how to take that.

aaaaand then in chorale we were singing something and our director started going on about a kiss on the forehead or something (IT MAKES SENSE IN CONTEXT) and then Jeanine kissed her hand and smacked me on the forehead for some reason? And then when I mentioned it later she kissed her hand again and put it on mine...

fnoagldshilsddsp what. the. actual. hell. arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh

(apparently the server is confused too, took it TEN MINUTES)

 

[surskitty]

If we need topics, then I'd like to bring up Fred Karger.

Now I'm not big into politics, so I don't want to say too much. Simply, what do you think of him? Does he even stand a chance in elections?

Uh, he's a gay Republican. A gay Republican in a party that spends all of its energy these days on eroding the rights of anyone not a Christian rich white cis heterosexual man. He'd probably get more votes running as a sparkly unicorn, no matter his politics.

He seems like a decent dude, though!

EDIT: I guess also any general words on how to come across as a blank would be nice.

It's worth remembering that if people can't tell whether male or female, they tend to assume male. :(

 

[Saith]

I guess also any general words on how to come across as a blank would be nice.

Shave, like, twice a day. Some people don't which is kinda dumb.
Also figure out simple fashion stuff. If you look androgynous, but you're wearing baggy shirts and low-hanging jeans, they'll assume guy. If you're wearing well-fitting - but still neutral - clothes in your best colour, people'll be slightly less likely to categorise you.

 

[shy ♡]

Oh, real-life-appearance advice. o.o

Well, I'm coming from the other side of the sex-field (??? eh) so it's a bit different, plus my intention isn't to be perceived as neutrois, but. (speaking of check out http://neutrois.tumblr.com/) But uhm, I've noticed if you have small contradicting bits people tend to go 'wat' basically and are unable to figure out gender. Like, toss in feminine and masculine bits here and there so that you're a mish-mash?