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Your Past Self

Oooh, sounds interesting.

2011me: Hi there!
2005me: Good day, how are you?
2011me: Uh. Fine. Thanks. I'm you.
2005me: Yay!
-selfhug-
2005me: So does this mean you can save the lives of people near death and then send them back to the far future where its utopian and the reason you waited till is now is so you'er able to predict what they want by observing their actions now?
2011me: No, this is just a plot device.
2005me: You use cruddy plot devices like time travel without thinking through the implications? Am I really that bad of a writer in the future?
2011me: Shut up and listen I need to tell you that-
2005me: Ooooh, maybe you can tell me things 9/11esque events so I can prevent them!
2011me: .... .... I don't know of any, the news is depressing.
2005me: Yeah it is...
2011me: You're powerless anyway. Um, anywho, you're a girl.
2005me: Uh, no, I'm not.
2011me: How will you deal with puberty?
2005me: I'll prevent it with my superior willpower! I don't wanna be all hairy and I want to not have a speck of hair on my face, and I want long head-hair.
2011me: Like most guys?
2005me: ...they're all scared of puberty too aren't they? Just weaker willed and thus can't prevent it?
2011me: Nope.
2005me: Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I'm scared! I didn't know I was a girl! But that makes so much sense in retrospect! Like why I identify with almost exclusively girl characters! This is bad! D=
2011me: S'okay! You have the maturity to deal with the-
2005me: My parents won't love me! And I'll lose my friends! What am I going to do? And-
2011me: >_< *mindwipes* *teleports away*

Well, that accomplished stuff. x3
 
*imagine doctor who tardis*

...why is there a time machine there

Because there is now shut up, sit up straight, and listen.

...okay...

Dammit stop being so accepting. Your best friend? She's a complete bitch who will compete with you over a guy you don't even really like. You'll find someone who is soooo much better. Trust me on that.

Well if I stop being accepting why should I listen to you?

...Oh god shut up. Also, you know how you like changing things on that one site?

Yeah..

Well don't change it. Don't lie. Because there is no reason to. You don't want to lie to the one person you've come to trust so much, cuz it's not good. You trust them with your life, so don't be stupid.

Whatistheirname

Nope. Don't worry they come to you first. And when you get depressed, don't be stupid. Because that...it won't be good. You have to look for Madison once you get to RMS, cuz she is a better friend than her. Believe me.

I don't know anyone by that name...?

Oh you'll find her. And one more thing.

Yes?

WORK ON YOUR GRAMMAR IT'S TERRIBLE.

o.o

Kbye. *zoom*


If only this did happen....*sigh*
 
--CURRENT squornshellousBeta began pestering PAST squornshellousBeta at 08:18--

CSB: Hello.
PSB: You're me from the future, aren't you.
CSB: Yes. I'm nineteen. You're eleven, yes?
PSB: Sure am.
CSB: Okay, listen to me very carefully. You know Michael? Don't trust him, just remain friends, if even that. And you'll meet a guy called Jake in a few years' time. Don't trust him either. I made those mistakes and I have the wounds to show for it.
PSB: Wounds?
CSB: You do not want to get into relationships with them, okay? Just trust me on this. I have experience as my guide.
PSB: Okay, okay.
CSB: And by the way, your anti-gay and anti-trans opinions? Yeah, completely stupid. Like, completely stupid. Seriously. That's mom and dad rubbing off on you.
PSB: That's a low blow.
CSB: True, but it gets the point across. Heck, at this moment in time I'm a lesbian myself and have a minimum of three transgender friends.
PSB: What? No. No no no. Who on earth could make me do that?
CSB: No-one makes you do anything. If you mean who am I with, it's Joanna.
PSB: ...Oh.
CSB: And on [date redacted] for god's sake tell Joanna you're at home ill okay. If you don't, well, again I have experience to tell me you don't want to find out.
PSB: Are you sure?
CSB: Yes, I am sure. Why do you always doubt things that are clearly true?
PSB: I dunno.
CSB: Well, yes. And also, no matter how you may feel, don't try to resort to suicide, okay? I never managed it, but with the timeline now modified, I don't know if you will... Just don't do it, for the sake of those who rely on us. Okay?
PSB: Okay, okay.
CSB: Good. I'll be checking in on you at some point in your future, and reminding you of important things. See you around, me.

--CURRENT squornshellousBeta ceased pestering PAST squornshellousBeta at 09:18--
 
Totally just thought of something else I should think of from like Jan. or something

SILVER remember how Cloudsong said to take care of Professor Fluffypants?

...Yes ;; Cloudyy ;;

DON'T FORGET HIM CUZ HE IS AN ADORABLE PENGUIN THAT IS CLOUDY'S THAT YOU NEED TO REMEMBER!! Oh and don't worry about anything your friend will be back and you'll make a new one who is forever your BBB and you'll know what that means eventually. Kbye.

...o.o

I totally forgot about Cloduy's penguin till a few days ago D:
 
Fourteen year old me Versus Thirteen year old me.

Oh, hey, past self. I have some super-cool warning for you.

Ah, future. I've been expecting you.

What? How does-

I knew I'd eventually create time travel, and I knew I'd realise it's a terrible and costly mistake and come back to kill myself, sacrificing my existence for the good of the world. Well, not today! *Draws gun*

Where the fuck did you get a gun? This is Ireland, they're illegal.

Don't you know? You should have got one too, about a year ago.

Nope.

Strange. Die now *Fires but misses due to crappy aim*

*Slaps Thirteen year old me in the face*. That was just pathetic. Look, don't let those bastards fuck with you, they're all actually the world's biggest cowards. Study hard, so that you can beat Jack in those tests.

Jack?

New friend. You don't know him yet. He's cool.

*Past self tries to shoot me again, I grab the gun and bonk him on the head*

Wow, that's a nasty bang. I'll probably have amnesia after this. Which would explain the whole me not remembering my future self visiting me thing. I suppose I'll keep the gun so the universe doesn't implode. And, well, cause I always wanted a gun. Who am I talking to right now? Whatever.
 
Present day me meets 12-year-old me.

Uh... hey, old me.

Huh? *walks faster*

W-wait, no! Come back! I-I know where you live!

...How?

Because I'm you, t-two and a half years into the future...

Erm...

D-don't ask.

Are you okay? You seem to be stuttering a little...

I... I guess I must have got more awkward with age...

It's okay. I'm a little shy too. So, why are you here?

I just wanted to talk to old me. Preserve your innocence and all that.

Go ahead then.

Well, first, don't be afraid of who you are.

Huh?

One day you'll succumb to the bullies and realise that they were right all along, but don't be afraid.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Just... just remember it. And don't get too emotionally attached to the people in your class. They're all backstabbing twats.

Even Adam?

Especially Adam.

Oh... oh dear. But... I will have friends, right?

Yup. Don't leave the library. Stay there. It's where your true friends are, the ones who like you for who you are rather than the things they think that you can give them.

Okay... thanks.

Anyway, must run. Got a hot date with Pablo.

Pablo!?

...You'll understand it when that advert gets broadcast. It's a good advert.

Erm... okay. Bye.

Oh, one last thing.

What?

Don't worry so much. Everything turns out good in the end.

All of it?

Fuck no. Just don't do anything stupid like try to... y'know.

No, I don't happen to know at all.

Don't try to... don't even entertain the thought of sui-- just... don't get too down in the dumps, will you?

Okay!

Anyway... I'll see you in two and a half years, then.

No, I'll see me.

This is confusing. I should leave...
 
I'm doing my past self from December because I have some very important advice.

HI there, past self.

Your...your...

My what???

YOUR HAIR IS STRAIGHT!

...Yes, my hair is straight. Perma-straightener. Anyways, I have important advice for you.

Yes, oh all-knowing self from years in the future?

...It's July 2011 where I come from. Back to the point, you know Jeanine's New Years party coming up?

Jeanine's having a New Years party?

Yes, she is. Go kick her neighbor in the balls for me.

W-why?

Because I want to. Also because it will save you from a month or so of pervertedness and freaking out. And save Jeanine, Dominque and your sisters from having their brains utterly broken by the knowledge of what happens.

O...okay.

And that whole thing with your minor jealousy of Rich? That'll go away by New Years.

It better, I'm holding you to that.

Trust me, it will.
 
"hey 12 year old self"
"...what"
"in like November you'll meet this dude on TCOD and his username will be Hyper_Pichu"
"ok?"
"don't have anything to do with this cunt ok, don't talk to him ever ever ever ever"
"ok"
 
(Oh man this is absolutely amazing; totally doing this |D)

Bold: 16-year-old self
Italic: 13-year-old self

*thinks: ...Oh wow, I forgot how awful my hair looked back then...*
*thinks: Holy geez am I really gonna get that fat when I'm in high school? ;w;*
Hey, why don't you get off the Internet for a while?
D: B-b-b-b-b-but...!
Trust me. Just for a little while, to think about what the hell kind of path you're about to go down.
BUT I CAN'T I CAN'T EVER EVER LEAVE THE COMPUTER OR ELSE---
Do it. Seriously. Think about your current frame of mind, and you can go back when you're not as much of a screwed-up asshole. And while I'm at it, get away from that fat scenester from school you've gotten together with, too.
........ *sits in a corner crying to everyone she knows on the Internet all day every day about what her future self just told her*
*massages temples* Geez, no wonder everyone hated me back then...

tl;dr past!Loffy was a moron and I hate my past self just like everybody else does :V
 
Current Me: Normal text
2005 Me: Italics

...What are you drawing?

Yoshi.

Figured. That'll become very important when you get addicted to the internet.

Excuse me?

Whatever you do kid, keep drawing. You kinda' suck now, and if you don't practice every fu-er, every single day, you'll lose it all. Particularly 2006.

I don't fully understa-

Shut up, I'm speaking. A new kid is moving here, he'll befriend you through Branden. Kyle. He's alright, but don't spend too much time with him, or you'll end up being extremely rude to stupid people. Branden is still alright, but too much time with him means you'll get lazier and start doing nothin but watch anime from the 90s.

But how do you know this?

Been there, done that. Also, never get attracted to a girl. And you better not get attracted to any men, either. Romance isn't your department, dude. There's a time and place for everything, and it's called college.

... I don't get it-

Shut up. Now, start doing workouts every night before bedtime, or you'll be just as pathetically skinny as you are now. You only need to do like ten every night, so suck it up and do it. Also, make sure you read. Out loud. A lot. Save your money. You'll have to blow it all on a new Xbox 360 in a few years.

Is that the one coming out in November? I want a Wii, not that. And since we got a Playstation 2 when I wanted a Gamecube, Eli doesn't get to pick this time.

Well you're not getting it. Your brother is clearly the favorite, and he's going to be far superior to you in pretty much every way, except you'll be taller and draw better, so get used to not having it your way. He gets the girls, the popularity, the massive number of friends, and you get to sit at home and watch reruns of "Family Matters." Good day to you, sir. I'm off to slay the walrus. Good luck with the fourth grade.

... What just happened?
 
Polymetric Sesquialtera said:
i
(not posting any stories because they'd be long and dumb lol)
Click to expand...

B...but that'd be fun to read.

(11vs18)

Cool a time machine.
Yeah. You know that girl you like?
You mean Breana?
Yeah. She's not worth it, though she'll help you.
How?
With...her in five years.
But I'm supposed to be dating now.
Shut up, that's stupid. Just remember not to dump her after prom.
Breana?
No, I said she wasn't worth it, remember?
Then why'd I dump the girl?
It has to do with...Destini.
What?
You'll remember this conversation when you're considering dumping her. Don't.
Okay, but could you tell me more about her?
She's younger than you but worth it.
But I don't know anyone-
Don't sweat it, you'll know when you meet her.
Why'd I dump her then? Is it my destiny?
No. Listen, you'll remember this a few times over the years. Keep it in mind. Now listen, I gotta go do Friendship is Magic stuff.
That sounds like a girls' show. D:
You like the Powerpuff Girls, it isn't that different.
 
Me at 17 talking to me at 11:

2011: Hey, kid!

2005: Who are you?

2011: I'm you six years from now.

2005: Whoa! Mom and dad finally let me dye my hair black?

2011: Let's not jump to conclusions. Anyway, we have important matters to discuss.

2005: Like what?

2011: This fall you'll be going into 6th grade. Don't homeschool, stay at the school you're in. You need the exposure, trust me. Besides, it's a shame if you loose contact with Daniel.

2005: What? But I was going to homeschool with a friend at his house. It was going to be awesome!

2011: As great as that was, it's not worth it. Oh, and I know you're worried about middle school being all strict and stuff. Don't sweat it. Push the rules a little. Goof off. You don't want to end up being all boring and serious, do you?

2005: Won't the kids all be bad in middle school? Cussing all over the place and stuff? Obsessed with... sex?

2011: And that's another thing. Get used to it. And please, don't judge people. Heck, drop a d-bomb once sometime next year.

2005: Don't tell me... you don't... like... you haven't given in...

2011: Yes, you definitely like girls, so stop fighting it. Your crusade on the nastiness of sex is unbelievably immature.

2005: Nooo! Everyone breaks at some point!

2011: Just shut up.

2005: ...

2011: Guess what else. *smiles* You end up liking screamo music.

2005: O.O

2011: Go google Paramore. They'll be really popular in about four years, and you'll be able to say you liked them a long time ago, which will be awesome. And All-American Rejects will be your first favorite band. Keep playing piano for a few years, but pick up electric guitar soon too.

2005: *on the verge of being on the verge of tears*

2011: Ok, bye.
 
Current WUE(17 years) meets 11-12 year old WUE, only back then she wasn't known as WUE.

Qiote a long one but there's so much I want to tell past!me.


*sees past!me at her computer* Um... hi.

...

Hey, it's okay! I'm ...you. You when you're 17.

Really? Well, you do look kind of like me, just older... and with boobs.

I guess... So anyway, I'm here to tell you about... *looks at her writing something* What's... this?

It's my new fanfic! Look, the main character has a Sneasel for a starter! Sneasels are so cool and cute and~

...*remember her first fanfic with horror* Oh... yeah. I see. You know, and I'm saying this as your older self, that's story's not really good. As in... it needs lots of work...

B-but... I worked so hard on it! It's great! And I'm still a beginner so I will get better, I...

To be honest, writing's not really your strong talent... But drawing might be! *takes a piece of paper from printer* Hey, got a pencil? And an eraser?

*hands older self pencil and eraser*

Thanks. Now... *sketches up an anthro cat, as younger me watches in awe*

Wooow! That's so cooool! I'm going to be that awesome when I'm your age? You're really good at drawing! I hate not being good...

*proud* Well, thanks, though this is just a quick sketch... you should see them when theyre scanned in and colored digitally. Though, ithey're still not that good. Still suffers from some anatomy problems, but I'm practising that... hey, could you do me a favor, even though you won't listen to me? Go learn anatomy. Now, it will really help you, especially if you learn it and try using it early on rather than struggling with incorporating it when you have already drawn for many years... at the very least make sketches and guidelines before you draw! You will improve a lot!

But anatomy's booooring! And guidelines take long time and are not importa-

Yes, they are. And anyway, you need to work a bit to get nice drawings... I usually use at least one hour for my current drawings, if not more.

*shock* ONE HOUR? That's like... forever!

And it's neccessary. By the way, see who this is? It's someone you know... one of your characters...

No clue... a cat?

*laughs* Does this help? *grabs a purple pencil and starts coloring cat*

Looks sort of like... Kuzie? But Kuzie doesn't look like- she has antennas, and no hair!

Well, she does now... I made a few changes to her and put her into a new story, she's a regular cat now. But you know, I still kept her original design in mind... you see her bangs? They're in the same shape as the marking on her head. And she's still purple...

But, that means you're still a furry? I knew I would still be...

I guess, though I don't call myself that anymore... it's a long story.

...So, I guess you're really me, huh? That's cool, although I wish you wouldn't be so rude about advice... but anyway...

So, about why I got here... I would just like to tell you a few things... you know how school is now?

It sucks! They're so mean to me...

...I know, and that's what I was going to tell you about... Know what? I know everyone's said this to you before, and that you're sick of hearing it... heck, I'm sick of hearing it to this day- but just don't listen to them.

BUT THAT DOESN'T HELP, THEY STILL SAY-

I know they do. And I don't mean "don't listen to them, it will make them stop", because it won't - trust me, I know, but as in... just try to bear with them for some more years. I know it's hard, and I know it seems like a long time... but in... say, the 9th grade, they'll grow up and stop that shit. A few will say something now and then, but it's no tmore than you can handle.

BUT HOW WILL I MANAGE ALL THOSE YEARS-

Well, I turned out okay, didn't I? By the way, a while before high school, you'll also start getting more friends...

...I don't need any friends.

Yes, you do, don't give me that crap... Besides, you have Victoria, you know? And Emina? They're your friends, no? You like being with them?

Well, they... I guess they are, guess you're right... but still I don't want friends like the girly-girl bimbos in my class! They wear makeup when they're freakin' 11! And they scream too much!

I see... well, I can tell you that they're going to get better... Though they might be slightly bitchy now, they'll grow out of it, and grow out of their screaming too... luckily, I can argee with you that was annoying. And you'll also learn that even though they might be "girly", that doesn't make them bad people. They might not share your interests, but you'll be able to tolerate them... and you only mention girls? Tried talking to any of the boys- oh, I forgot. They're mostly into sports and such... my bad. Anyway, like I said, they will get better!

...Really?

Trust me. Everything will get better. It's just a fact that at your age, many kids are bastards. They'll grow out of it. Oh, and about your friends?

...yeah?

I can tell you one thing: you might not believe it now, but you'll slowly grow away from Emina. After a while, you're just too different and share no interests... but Victoria will stay. And... before starting high school, you'll get many more of them. Many of them comes from your hobby of... I think you've... I've heard of it at that age... cosplaying.

Cosplaying? You mean dressing up in character costumes? That's cool... I want to do it some time...

And you will. Anyway, Victoria will introduce you to this... and you'll get more friends. By this point, you get better with some of your social awkwardness too.

That's cool...

For the rest of your interests... you'll keep on gaming. You like Pokémon now, don't you? Well, you'll still do, even more, Pokémon's going to be pretty cool in the future. You'll play lots of Mario too... basically most of Nintendo. That's great, kid, keep on gaming!

Sounds good...

Oh, and you know the Zelda games? Try them out. Really. They're great.

I heard good things about them...

And they're pretty much true. Secondly, in middle school you'll gain an interest in anime and manga, which will stay with you for a long time. But whatever you do, please try resisting the urge to use Japanese words in sentences now and then. It makes you sound like a weeaboo.

Weeaboo?

*Wait... did that word exist back then?* ...Yeah... it means... it's not a good thing. But anime is, some of them at least. And this is part of the reason you get into cosplay too...

Interesting...

But, I have to go now. Well, remember my advice, and stay awesome. Then you'll be like me in some years...
 
Hello, self from three years ago. Don't be friends with Marie, she's a crazy bitch will leech money off you and dump her imaginary problems on you, so don't be afraid to hurt her feelings and tell her to fuck off. Don't hang around the library like a little creep and actually go down to the préau, ignore your class completely, and make friends with the mixed-nationality Swedish, Dutch and English table next to the stairs to the art room, that'll save you a few years of being mopey. You'll all be great friends in a few years anyway.
Make sure you talk to Oscar sooner and don't be a little bitch about telling him your feelings. Don't lose your patience with him too much or have your expectations up too high, he's not just intelligent and excentric, he has genuine mental problems. That boy ain't right, so just keep that in mind and don't hold it against him.

Also yeah just pay attention in maths class, the stuff covered is far too difficult (more than half of your year will miserably fail their exam) but you'll need the extra boost to get into university. Right now, I'm in it up to here because of you, you little punk.

Then I'd spit on my face and poof away.
 
Hey, 15 year old self!

Nothing you say or do matters at this age and there's not a thing your teachers can do to stop you should they disagree with you. You're never going to see any of these people again and it really is going to get better. Abuse the hell out of this knowledge.

Also stop drawing stupid shit and work on getting better.
 
Throw out your phone, you can't trust yourself to use it properly. You know you're just going to upset someone.
 
Fourteen year-old self, I know you've been feeling pretty down lately, but don't let that isolate yourself from your friends. They're a darn good bunch and talking to them will only help.
 
Traveling back to 2006...

You look just like me!

That's because I am you. From the future. You won't physically age past 15.

Forever?

No, I suspect the facial hair will come eventually.

Awww... So why are you doing this? Doesn't time travel never end well?

I don't have time to get into a discussion with my past self over the merits of time travel. Anyway, I'm doing this for a thread on tCoD.

tCoD?

The Cave of the Dragonflies? Totally fantastic informative Pokemon site? You will join them because Pokemon Crater's forums will finally die, and when they return, they will only discuss the actual game, leading you to seek a new community to roleplay at.

That is a great site, but I've never touched the forums. I won't mess everything up by registering right now, will I?

Uhh... you will watch an anime that does time travel very nicely. According to it, that probably won't do much, but I don't suggest changing world lines.

Wha-

Anyway, stop being communist.

Why? Soviets are the shit, man.

Yeah, sadly the Chinese Communist Party is not. Anyway, even if you end up doing better in school due to this visit, for my sake, go to UT Dallas no matter what. The folks are great, and you will want to get away from the house. That said, while college is fun, you still have to actually do work.

Whatever you say. So, what do you do up in the future?

Meet interesting people, go to anime conventions, get good at 2D fighting games.

What kinda music do you listen to?

Whatever you listen to, plus some other stuff. You will actually rather like Kanye West. You will stop listening to 2Pac. Yousei Teikoku might seem really cool, but I guarantee you, no matter what Logan says, Asriel is better. Too lazy to mention other things, but it's all good since you will inevitably enjoy it.

OK... anything else about what I do?

Yeah, watch things besides romantic comedy anime. Seriously. Take a break from the ecchi to discover stuff. May I suggest Aria? It will air next year. It is the greatest thing ever.

I dunno, man, I'm quite adverse to shounen action shows.

It's not a shounen action show. I avoid those too. Trust me, I'm you from the future after all. Anyway, there's more important shit to cover. High school is going to be cool. Everyone from middle school will be there, and I know you're good at meeting people. That's a valuable skill in college. There's going to be drama around you, but you will pretty much never need to take part. It's good practice for college. You, however, will live a rather uneventful existence. Unless you change that.

I will keep that in mind, I suppose. So, uh, what sort of people do I meet, then?

In high school, relatively normal people. In college... a loveable asshole, an androgynous gay man and the formerly anorexic girl whose dependent on him, a black gay guy who doesn't seem gay at all, until you try and bring up moe, some hyperactive nerds, and the crew will be rounded out by generally cool people. By the way, there's nothing wrong with crossdressing done well.

What...? What the hell happens?

Don't worry about it.
 
Me now (13) to me in late 2005 (8).

*teleports in*

Listen carefully. I want you to remember this. No, don't talk. I only have a little while.

So basically, I'm you in the future. Not all that far, but a few years. I need you to remember a few things to help you along, okay? Great.

I know that school sucks right now. All of the work is too easy, you don't like your teachers, and everyone thinks you're weird. School is gonna suck all the way through 8th grade, but middle school is much better than elementary. Plus you'll skip 5th grade, and that will make things so much better. Suddenly, things won't be so easy anymore! That's a good thing. Keep yourself challenged.

Remember that most of your teachers aren't that bad. It seems like it now, but they're doing their best and they are pretty cool. There are a few that aren't great, but most are pretty awesome, so try not to give them too much trouble.

When you get to 9th grade, everything will suddenly get better. You will have many friends, awesome teachers, and classes you enjoy. Look forward to it! School won't suck forever.

In about a year you're going to get a thing called a tamagotchi. You are going to cherish that for a very long time. Be good to your tamagotchi, and don't freak out when the battery dies. He'll be alright.

Revel in the rain. It will become rare. Don't listen to anybody who tells you you'll get sick. They're wrong. Go ahead and stand in the rain.

You'll probably forget most of this, but remember this: Don't be afraid to grow up. Don't stop reading. Find beauty in the world. And for my sake, brush your teeth! The braces won't be so bad, and in a few years they'll come off.

I'd best be off! Have fun for me!

*teleports out*

Past Me: *blinks*
 
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