Recipes

[Blastoise Fortooate]

Here is a place to post impromptu instructions about how to make things that you enjoy to eat/drink, so that we may all partake in your joy. Here, I'll start:

Mix together ~one part ginger ale with ~two parts sweet tea. It's delicious. I'm hoping it'll help my stomach as well. I'm sure green tea would work as a substitute. :)

 

[Superbird]

Hmm. Looks promising.

*reads off back of box of Brownie mix*

Ingredients:
1 large egg
1 pack br—


No, screw that. How about this?

Ingredients:

• 1 lb. Ground Beef
• 1/2 an onion or a small onion, etc.
• 2 cups of Elbow Macaroni (generosity can be afforded)
• 16 oz. Tomato Sauce
• 2 (generous) cups of shredded Cheddar Cheese [It's okay to substitute other cheeses if Cheddar is unavailable]
• 1 tsp. of Basil
• 1 tsp. of Oregano
• 1/2 tsp. of Salt
• Pepper, to taste

Now, class, we will not be cooking this in the oven. Instead, we will be doing it on the stove. So first...

Get out a pot, fill it with water, and put it on a burner (preferably with a lid) and when it boils, put in the elbow macaroni. Leave them on for about 8-10 minutes, stirring them periodically to ensure they don't stick to the inside of the pot, and remove them when you think they're soft enough (scoop one or two out, and chew it to check this). When the macaroni is ready, dump it all out, and strain the noodles, preferably with a strainer, over the sink. We will add the noodles to this dish soon enough, but first the following has to happen.

Now, it is recommended that you cover this part of the recipe while the noodles are in the process (that includes while the water is boiling), as it saves great amounts of time. Get out a pretty large frying pan, maybe thirteen inches diameter or so. Put it on another burner, setting that one about halfway to full temperature. Empty the ground beef into it (make sure it's in very small chunks, ripped apart from itself many, many times). When the beef is all brown and the fat starts bubbling, take it off of the burner and drain all of the fat from it. Now I'll leave how to drain the fat up to do, but when you're done put the meat back into the frying pan and put it back on the burner, turning said burner to "low" or about 15%. Add the tomato sauce to the meat (just pour it on), then add the basil and the oregano. Mix all of that together with a few revolutions of the ol' wooden spoon.

We're nearing the end now. Finally, when both the meat and the macaroni are done, empty and mix the macaroni into the frying pan with the meat. Make sure they're mixed. It's best if you get both the previous paragraphs done at about the same time so that the noodles are still warm. Anyway, once you've mixed in the noodles, it's time to add the best part—the cheese! Pour the generous two cups of cheese into the frying pan and mix it all together. Then just give it a moment to melt and you're done!


Make sure your frying pan is big enough to hold it all, though!

 

[Barubu]

This isn't even my recipe, but go to Starbuck's, order the chocolate milk, and enjoy your heaven in a cup for a while.

But, I like to mix 1/2 Dr. Pepper with 1/2 Coca Cola. >:P

 

[Worst Username Ever]

Guess I could share my choco-banana shake.

1 dl milk, 2 spoons of chocolate milk powder(or 1 dl chocolate milk)
1 banana
2 scoops of vanilla ice cream
1 teaspoon of cinnamon

Put in a blender and mix together.

 

[Teh Ebil Snorlax]

Rashers- and Egg-Fried Rice

Ingredients:

As much rice as you want
As many eggs as you want
As many rashers as you want
A drop of milk
Salt
Pepper

(Pretty laissez-faire recipe, I know)

1. Beat the eggs, milk, salt and pepper in a jug and leave to one side.
2. Dice the rashers.
3. Boil a kettle of water and put the rice on the boil.
4. Scramble the eggs in a wok, leave in bowl to one side.
5. Wash wok.
6. Fry rashers in wok, leave on plate to one side.
7. Strain rice, fry on wok.
8. Add rashers to rice and fry further.
9. Add eggs to rice and fry further.
10. Serve on a plate.

 

[goldenquagsire]

here's a neat trick I learned. you know those 'poached eggs' most people make, with those little plastic egg poacher things? that's a pale imitation of real poached egg.

1. get a saucepan, fill it with hot water and get it boiling
2. chuck in vinegar (quite a sizable amount is best)
3. stir the water vigorously to make a whirlpool
4. crack an egg into the middle of the pan
5. if you do it right, the egg white should wrap around the yolk like a blanket
6. fish it out when the white looks cooked

you now have god-tier poached egg.

 

[Clover]

I hate chocolate milk.

Let's see, what do I know. Onion rings: chop a bunch of onions into rings, dunk them in an equal mix of flour and water with a dash each of baking powder and vinegar, and fry. Serve with salt. Chicken nuggets: s/onions/chicken breasts/, s/rings/cubes/.


Lemon pepper chicken with rice:

all the chicken breasts what'll fit in a 9x13
a cup and a half of white rice
a can of chicken broth or two cups of hot water with chicken bouillon (I spelled that word wrong once in a spelling bee and have never spelled it wrong again >()
stick of butter
lemon pepper

Stick the breasts in the pan and stick the broth in the pan and stick the lemon pepper all over that chicken. No, more. Okay. Now stick the pan in the three-fifty oven for twenty minutes. Now get it out of there and flip those breasts, that's what she said. Stick that rice right in there. Be sure it's all under the water, kay? And melt that butter and get that butter in there. And now pepper those breasts up on that side.

Stick the pan back in there for another twenty minutes, but tear off some aluminium foil and throw that loosely on there while it's in there. Then check it again after that timer goes off; if there's too much water, take off the foil, but if you don't see any, leave it on. Make your best judgement, yanno. Finally, another twenty minutes, for an hour of cooking time in all. Serves a family, plus lunch the next day.


Chicken jambalaya:
FIND THIS, FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS ON BACK
so good

 

[Teh Ebil Snorlax]

here's a neat trick I learned. you know those 'poached eggs' most people make, with those little plastic egg poacher things? that's a pale imitation of real poached egg.

1. get a saucepan, fill it with hot water and get it boiling
2. chuck in vinegar (quite a sizable amount is best)
3. stir the water vigorously to make a whirlpool
4. crack an egg into the middle of the pan
5. if you do it right, the egg white should wrap around the yolk like a blanket
6. fish it out when the white looks cooked

you now have god-tier poached egg.

I didn't realise there was any other way to make a poached egg. What are these "plastic egg poacher things" you speak of?

To be honest, it kind of saddens me that anyone would have to be informed that this is how to make a poached egg.

 

[Green]

How to make ice:

Go buy some.

 

[ignore_this_acct]

How to make ice:

Go buy some.

But store bought ice has no heart put into it.

In order to make homemade ice you pour water into a bowl and you chill it in the freezer for a few hours.

Hot Cocoa

2 TBSP Cocoa powder
2 TBSP Sugar
1.5 Cups milk
Stove top
Boil the milk and mix in the dry ingredients until disheveled.
Pour into a cup or drink from the pot, if desired.
Microwave
In one mug, combine dry ingredients. set aside.
In another mug, pour milk into it, put in the microwave and nuke it until it boils or explodes.
Pour milk into the other mug.
Enjoy.

 

[Aisling]

But store bought ice has no heart put into it.

In order to make homemade ice you pour water into a bowl and you chill it in the freezer for a few hours.

wh...

How do you fit that into a Dixie cup? What's wrong with ice cube trays?

Uh, I don't really know any recipes but I like adding milk to my chicken ramen sometimes. I cut out a recipe from a magazine in my food and nutrition class for some really good tomato soup with bleu cheese but I kinda lost it since I first used it. >:

 

[ultraviolet]

best brownies you will ever eat, bitches

Ingredients:
250g butter
½ cup cocoa
1 ½ cups sugar
4 eggs
1 cup flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 teaspoon vanilla essence

Melt butter (microwave) in a bowl large enough to mix all ingredients. Mix in cocoa, stir in sugar. Add eggs one at a time, making sure each egg is mixed in with a wooden spoon before adding the next (if the mixture looks very wet at this point, don’t worry). Sift flour and baking powder into the mixture. Add vanilla essence and mix to combine. Pour into a greased, lamington baking tray. Bake at 180°C for 25 to 30 minutes, until brownie springs back when lightly touched, or a skewer comes out clean. Cut into bars while still warm.
Note: The original recipe recommends chocolate icing, but these are very rich. They do work well with chocolate chips added into the mixture, but they do sink to the bottom when in the baking tray.

How to make ice:

Go buy some.

1) or you could... use a freezer
2) that isn't a recipe
3) who would possibly not know how to make ice

 

[RespectTheBlade]

wh...

How do you fit that into a Dixie cup? What's wrong with ice cube trays?

Simply put, cubes are a bit boring. Spheres, now there's an interesting idea.

Well here's mine.

Green Bean Casserole (a lot better than it sounds.)

• 2 cans of cream of mushroom soup
• 8 cups (approx 3 cans) of green beans
• 3 cups of french fried onions
• 1 cup milk (any kind)
• a small amount of pepper (about 1/4 a teaspoon)

Mix together green beans, cream of mushroom soup, milk, peper and 1 1/2 cups of onions an oven-safe baking pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 25 minutes, then take out and stir. Top with the remaining onions, and then bake for 5 more mins. Serves about...six, I think.

Also, I find it really good if you mix three parts sweetened iced tea with one part Sprite/Sierra Mist/Ginger Ale. it tastes fizzy, but it still retains the tast of the tea.

 

[Music Dragon]

• one 18.25 ounce chocolate cake mix
• one can prepared coconut pecan frosting
• 3/4 cup vegetable oil
• 4 large eggs
• one cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
• 3/4 cup butter or margarine
• 1 2/3 cups granulated sugar
• 2 cups all-purpose flour

Don't forget garnishes such as:

• fish shaped crackers
• fish shaped candies
• fish shaped solid waste
• fish shaped dirt
• fish shaped ethylbenzene
• pull n' peel licorice
• fish shaped volatile organic compounds
• sediment shaped sediment
• candy coated peanut butter pieces; shaped like fish
• one cup lemon juice
• alpha resins
• unsaturated polyester resin
• fibreglass surface resins
• volatile malted milk impoundments
• 9 large egg yokes
• 12 medium geosynthetic membranes
• one cup granulated sugar
• an entry called: "How To Kill Someone With Your Bare Hands"
• 2 cups rhubarb; sliced
• 2/3 cup granulated rhubarb
• 1 tablespoon all-purpose rhubarb
• 1 teaspoon grated orange rhubarb
• 3 tablespoons rhubarb; on fire
• 1 large rhubarb
• 1 cross Bohr hole electromagnetic imaging rhubarb
• 2 tablespoons rhubarb juice
• adjustable aluminium head positioned
• slaughter electric needle injector
• cordless electric needle injector
• injector needle driver
• injector needle gun
• cranial caps

and it contains proven preservatives, deep penetration agents, and gas and odor control chemicals that will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue.

 

[Not Meowth]

1. burn bread
2. eat bread

 

[goldenquagsire]

I didn't realise there was any other way to make a poached egg. What are these "plastic egg poacher things" you speak of?

To be honest, it kind of saddens me that anyone would have to be informed that this is how to make a poached egg.

these kind of things. they make really horrible poached eggs, but they're easier than the traditional method I guess. :/

and you'd be surprised! when my school was doing a cookery course for general studies, we made these for one of our side dishes and everyone was like "NO WAI THIS IS HOW YOU POACH EGGS???". so, yes.

 

[Teh Ebil Snorlax]

these kind of things. they make really horrible poached eggs, but they're easier than the traditional method I guess. :/

and you'd be surprised! when my school was doing a cookery course for general studies, we made these for one of our side dishes and everyone was like "NO WAI THIS IS HOW YOU POACH EGGS???". so, yes.

:(

Sadface for the slow, painful death of the culinary arts and the triumph of the culture of convenience.

 

[Dannichu]

:(

Sadface for the slow, painful death of the culinary arts and the triumph of the culture of convenience.

In defense of students everywhere (or, rather, myself), I have to say that, yes, the microwave and such makes everything soggy and/or plasticy, but it's fast, and when your kitchen's temperature is actually below freezing, you want to spend as little time there as possible.

I make pizzas that I alone in the world enjoy, but I'll pass on my wisdom anyway:

Ingredients:
1 stale, reduced French stick (on a good day, you can find these for as little as 5p)
1 tin of Sainsbury's Basics/Tesco Value tomatoes (preferably dented and therefore reduced)
1 medium onion
1 tin of cheap, own-brand pineapple (16p in Sainsbury's!)
A bunch of mushrooms (sliced)
A decent amount of cheese

Method:
1. Cut French stick in half and stick under grill on low heat.
2. Chop and fry onion, stir in tomatoes. Reduce until the consistency is spreadable.
3. Spread tomato-onion mix on toasted bread.
4. Add mushroom and pineapple.
5. Grate cheese on top.
6. Return to grill for about 5 mins.
7. Serve. Or, more likely, eat the whole thing yourself because everyone else in the world finds the idea of mushrooms and pineapple as a pizza topping morally abhorrent.

 

[Clover]

best brownies you will ever eat, bitches

I would love to make these, but what if we're not super special australians and don't have these lamington pans?! what then, uv?

what then??

 

[hopeandjoy]

How to make Kraft Mac n Cheese/Dinner sorta eatable:

1 box Kraft Mac n Cheese/Dinner (it has to be the normal florestent orange non orgainic kind for max nostalgia)
Good amount of ham/turkey Kcut into small squares (lunchmeat and real meat are both acceptable)
Good amount of a chedar (cut into small squares) (not american cheese, for the love of god. Cooper is the best. Swisses are also good.)
Good amount of cubed tomatos
Pepper, peprika, organo, and basil (to taste)

Make Mac n Cheese acording to box.
Add cheese, meat, and tomatos-mix until cheese is melted (might need to keep the burner on low.)
Season to taste
Put in bowl and enjoy the nostalgia

Yeah, I can't cook.