The QUILTBAG Club (formerly the LGBT club)

[Momo(th)]

Oh goodie!

 

[Harlequin]

Nick Griffin is such a cunt.

 

[Dannichu]

That was absolutely awful, but a bit of me finds the idea of Nick 'n' friends setting up a 'British Justice Team' funny in the most pathetic of ways.

 

[Momo(th)]

Awesome video is awesome

 

[Phantom]

*Sighs*

C'mon MN, it's not that hard.

 

[Dannichu]

Well done, Maine, Maryland and Washington :D And the US generally.

(especially Maine!)

All these states getting marriage equality is making me a bit embarrassed for the UK. If this continues while the UK keeps going 'but we have civil unions!', we won't be able to point and laugh at the US anymore, which means most of us will have to find new hobbies.

 

[Jolty]

All these states getting marriage equality is making me a bit embarrassed for the UK. If this continues while the UK keeps going 'but we have civil unions!', we won't be able to point and laugh at the US anymore, which means most of us will have to find new hobbies.

oh god this yes
at least scotland seems to be getting somewhere ;_; maybe



edit: erm since i ain't posted in ere in ages, some sort of personal update thingamajig
i am most likely starting HRT in january/february
3 and a half years of waiting, man. it is happening.

 

[Tailsy]

yeah, Scotland's already confirmed that it's introducing marriage equality in 2015. Don't lump us into the UK shit man.

 

[Dannichu]

Yeah, but that's still three years away. Same-sex marriage has been legal in Iowa of all places since 2009. Why does it take so long? Maine was all 'guys, do we want gay marriage?' and everyone was like 'yeeeeaaaah!' and then it was legal. Brilliant.

And Jolty, I'm really happy for you! Best of luck with it :)

 

[Phantom]

Speaking of the Midwest, Minnesota beat the Marriage Amendment! Yay!

 

[Harlequin]

I think it took so long because we got civil unions not that long ago. Kind of like, "there's no rush for marriage because we gave them civil unions".

 

[Tailsy]

Yeah, but that's still three years away. Same-sex marriage has been legal in Iowa of all places since 2009. Why does it take so long? Maine was all 'guys, do we want gay marriage?' and everyone was like 'yeeeeaaaah!' and then it was legal. Brilliant.

I don't think it's really as simple as that in Scottish law, though. I vaguely remember my mum (who used to work as a registrar and officiated many a civil partnership in her time) saying something about it being a pain in the arse to change the old laws that are all like MARRIAGE BETWEEN ONE MAN AND ONE WOMAN or something like that. I'm not sure how true that is but I can imagine old stuffy white dudes can be completely bothersome like that.

Besides, at least the Scottish Government isn't being wishy-washy about it like the coalition seem to be! (They are wishy-washy in other ways sometimes but that isn't the point.) The actual comment was that the first marriages would be able to take place in 2015, and they do seem to be leaving a lot of important things to the end of the Scottish Parliament's term (ex. independence referendum). It's something they're actively pursuing! Which is a lot more than you can say about the Tory/Lib Dem buttfaces.

Also it's really only two-and-a-wee-bit years since it's November... :P

 

[Momo(th)]

Came out to a incredibly close friend today.

It went well.

 

[Dannichu]

I think it took so long because we got civil unions not that long ago. Kind of like, "there's no rush for marriage because we gave them civil unions".

Yeah, not having marriage sucks, but civil unions or indeed same-sex relationships being equal in the eyes of the law is actually really cool. Two of my housemates this year are a (heterosexual) couple and recently filled out a form applying for benefits as a couple, and thanks to some really weird phrasing, it sounded like same-sex couples wouldn't be allowed to apply for the same kinds of benefits. Naturally, I got filled with righteous indignation before finding out that same-sex couples would be allowed. Although it didn't really change much for me because even if my girlfriend and I lived together, she's a no-good foreigner and we don't let them have benefits anyway.

I don't think it's really as simple as that in Scottish law, though. I vaguely remember my mum (who used to work as a registrar and officiated many a civil partnership in her time) saying something about it being a pain in the arse to change the old laws that are all like MARRIAGE BETWEEN ONE MAN AND ONE WOMAN or something like that. I'm not sure how true that is but I can imagine old stuffy white dudes can be completely bothersome like that.

Besides, at least the Scottish Government isn't being wishy-washy about it like the coalition seem to be! (They are wishy-washy in other ways sometimes but that isn't the point.) The actual comment was that the first marriages would be able to take place in 2015, and they do seem to be leaving a lot of important things to the end of the Scottish Parliament's term (ex. independence referendum). It's something they're actively pursuing! Which is a lot more than you can say about the Tory/Lib Dem buttfaces.

Also it's really only two-and-a-wee-bit years since it's November... :P

That makes sense. Although I have a ton of free time and if someone wants to pay me to go CTRL + F through all the old laws and change them, I totally will. I've even gotten to a point where I can use tip-ex without getting most of it all over myself, if the old laws aren't digitalised yet.

Came out to a incredibly close friend today.

It went well.

:D Good for you!

 

[Adriane]

So my counselor asked me today if I could recommend any good trans resources/blogs to her. She's interested in writing a brochure for the office and starting a support group; she confided that more people have mentioned trans issues/concerns recently.

Suggestions would be appreciated!

 

[Rainbow Dashie]

Whipping Girl by Julia Serano is still the most complex, most properly argued with deductive logic book regarding the subject that I've read to date, although it's mainly only about trans women (and related topics like gender dissonance, the history of how trans women were/have been treated by the medical field, discrimination, sexism in society, view of femininity in society, gendering, conditional privilege, etc.) since Julia Serano felt like she doesn't have the right to talk in the name of others (trans men, non-binary people, intersex people, etc.)


ALSO

Lana Wachowski (co-director of the Matrix) receives the HRC Visibility Award

surprised no one posted this video yet, it's really awesome of her that she did a public autobiographical speech about how being trans has affected her, and it was so inspiring I couldn't help but cry by the end

 

[Eloi]

Whipping Girl by Julia Serano is still the most complex, most properly argued with deductive logic book regarding the subject that I've read to date, although it's mainly only about trans women (and related topics like gender dissonance, the history of how trans women were/have been treated by the medical field, discrimination, sexism in society, view of femininity in society, gendering, conditional privilege, etc.) since Julia Serano felt like she doesn't have the right to talk in the name of others (trans men, non-binary people, intersex people, etc.)


ALSO

Lana Wachowski (co-director of the Matrix) receives the HRC Visibility Award

surprised no one posted this video yet, it's really awesome of her that she did a public autobiographical speech about how being trans has affected her, and it was so inspiring I couldn't help but cry by the end

I cried when she talked about her incomplete suicide attempt... It's so sad that more than 41% of transgender people in the United States have tried to kill themselves... (http://www.thetaskforce.org/downloads/reports/reports/ntds_summary.pdf)

 

[Phantom]

I've been thinking.

Sexually, I have no desires or needs, and I consider myself asexual. As a whole I consider myself a biromantic asexual. Which I think I explained a while ago in that I can have a romantic relationship with a man or a woman, but when it comes to uh stuff, not so interested. This I can agree with myself on. It's the emotional connection I look for. As of right now I'm single, and I plan to be so, probaly indefinately. Which sucks, because of said desire for such emotional connections.

(BTW I think I explained I'm a hopeless romantic? Especially with women, not sure why. I do believe an former girlfriend (I think I mentioned her, the one that got away?) referred to my remarks as romatically adorable yet groan worthy.... I'm the protective type, the one that'll tell you that if the world lays an effing finger on you it's DED DEAD.)

But I've been thinking lately.

I know the trans* and genderqueer community here is a big thing. There have been HUGE arguments, and, while I try to sideline myself as much as I can (and sometimes not as much as I should), some things make sense to me. Sometimes I just think this whole genderqueer thing is mumbo jumbo; especially the pronoun argument. I would always say that you are who/what you are, so just tell me what the fuck to call you and move on your merry way. But that doesn't mean I don't listen to what they're saying.

Now, I'm not a 'girly girl' by any means whatsoever. I wasn't raised with girls, rather my cousins who were 'tough guys' that I beat up on regular occasions because their idiots, but I love them like brothers. I can count how many times I've worn a dress on one hand. (Three by the way; my Communion, when I was my parent's flower girl, and my 8th grade graduation ceremony (I scared people that day, they were like "Holy shit, Ash is that you?" I, on the other hand was like, "Shut it.") I don't like pink all that much, I don't wear makeup very often... or at all most of the time. I don't giggle at stupid things, or have to go to bathroom in groups. (Seriously, I don't get it.) (Aaaand I'm probably being a stereotypical jerk-butt, but I'm making a point.) I've always hung out with guys, been one of the guys, my best friends are guys.

But I am by no means a guy.

I don't want to be a guy.

I've never thought about being a guy.

But I don't really fit in as a woman either. At least, not as society says I should. I know I'm a tomboy, but I don't go out of my way to be so. I don't look it at least, besides not wearing women's clothes. (Seriously, I hate women's tee shirts. I want sleeves dammit.)

At the same time my head is confused. I am asexual, there's no denying it... but sexuality and gender aren't always the same boat by any means. Which is, sadly, a bit of an abstract concept. I'm not sure if it qualifies as genderqueer or not. I don't think of myself as a guy, nor do I have desire to be one... but I tend to act more like a man than a woman. But I don't do so intentionally.

WhichismoarstereotypingbutshutityouknowwhatImean.

Not sure where to go from here. I think this stems from my Aspergers. I just want to be comfortable, and I go out of my way to be so.

Take the clothing argument. I hate women's tee shirts. They have really short like slanted cuts on the sleeves. I HATE that. If I wear a woman's shirt I am constantly pulling at the sleeve. There's no reason, I just don't like my upper arm to be bare. So I wear men's tees, which have longer sleeves. I like more baggy pants because they are more comfortable. They aren't huge, just not skinny jeans. I don't avoid dresses because I think they are girly, I don't like them because I feel exposed in them. They are uncomfortable to me... plus a lot of them are lacking in sleeves... as previous argument explained.

Take the emotional connection argument. When I care for someone it's not a fleeting thing, I get pretty attached. Thing is I go through my day not really attached to anyone at all. I bull shit and fake conversation. That's a thing with me, I can act pretty well. I think a lot of Aspies get really good with acting like they know what they are doing. Online talking to people is much easier.

If I actually start to care for someone it's a big thing. Now I sound like a bitch... dang it. It's not that I hate everyone or something like that. I care about everyone, but if I really start to care, like family, it means way more than my friend at work. As it is, irl I only have one friend I really care about like that, and we've been friends for almost ten years now and it was only a year ago that I started considering him a brother. That's how scorned I am with making relationships with people. I'm starving for connection, which is why when I'm in a relationship they become my world.

I don't think of myself as anything, really. I'm just me, I don't think of myself as "I'm a woman". I don't do that. If someone calls me a guy online, I'll correct them, just for the purpose of getting facts right. Which happens all the time. But I don't think of myself as anything at all. I never question it. Not really. It's sort of a no mans' land. (Haha punny)

I'm just wondering if anyone has an opinion. I'm trying to sort my thoughts here.

 

[surskitty]

Not being stereotypically feminine doesn't mean you're genderqueer. It also doesn't mean you aren't. No magic answers here, I'm afraid!

 

[Jolty]

Now, I'm not a 'girly girl' by any means whatsoever. I wasn't raised with girls, rather my cousins who were 'tough guys' that I beat up on regular occasions because their idiots, but I love them like brothers. I can count how many times I've worn a dress on one hand. (Three by the way; my Communion, when I was my parent's flower girl, and my 8th grade graduation ceremony (I scared people that day, they were like "Holy shit, Ash is that you?" I, on the other hand was like, "Shut it.") I don't like pink all that much, I don't wear makeup very often... or at all most of the time. I don't giggle at stupid things, or have to go to bathroom in groups. (Seriously, I don't get it.) (Aaaand I'm probably being a stereotypical jerk-butt, but I'm making a point.) I've always hung out with guys, been one of the guys, my best friends are guys.

But I am by no means a guy.

I don't want to be a guy.

I've never thought about being a guy.

But I don't really fit in as a woman either. At least, not as society says I should. I know I'm a tomboy, but I don't go out of my way to be so. I don't look it at least, besides not wearing women's clothes. (Seriously, I hate women's tee shirts. I want sleeves dammit.)

At the same time my head is confused. I am asexual, there's no denying it... but sexuality and gender aren't always the same boat by any means. Which is, sadly, a bit of an abstract concept. I'm not sure if it qualifies as genderqueer or not. I don't think of myself as a guy, nor do I have desire to be one... but I tend to act more like a man than a woman. But I don't do so intentionally.

WhichismoarstereotypingbutshutityouknowwhatImean.

Not sure where to go from here. I think this stems from my Aspergers. I just want to be comfortable, and I go out of my way to be so.

Take the clothing argument. I hate women's tee shirts. They have really short like slanted cuts on the sleeves. I HATE that. If I wear a woman's shirt I am constantly pulling at the sleeve. There's no reason, I just don't like my upper arm to be bare. So I wear men's tees, which have longer sleeves. I like more baggy pants because they are more comfortable. They aren't huge, just not skinny jeans. I don't avoid dresses because I think they are girly, I don't like them because I feel exposed in them. They are uncomfortable to me... plus a lot of them are lacking in sleeves... as previous argument explained.



I don't think of myself as anything, really. I'm just me, I don't think of myself as "I'm a woman". I don't do that. If someone calls me a guy online, I'll correct them, just for the purpose of getting facts right. Which happens all the time. But I don't think of myself as anything at all. I never question it. Not really. It's sort of a no mans' land. (Haha punny)

I'm just wondering if anyone has an opinion. I'm trying to sort my thoughts here.

kinda answered that yourself
if you have no desire to be male and don't really care that you're female, that's that

you can still be a woman and be masculine, your gender has absolutely nothing to do with the way you act or dress. nothing.