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The QUILTBAG Club (formerly the LGBT club)

Soooo... I thought this might be of interest to the LGB folks - a children's movie called Paranorman features a gay character. From what I've read, it's actually done pretty well. It's not made a big deal of or anything, it's just a throwaway line. He's not a sterotype and he's not portrayed as nothing more than "that gay guy".

Of course, homophobes are blathering on about the evils of marketing homosexuality to little kids and brainwashing them into thinking it's OK and blah blah blah.

Verne said:
wow so i haven't been around here a lot and i've been putting off posting this for a while but i am real upset already tonight so might as well

i am pretty next to done with even trying to successfully Do the Trans* Thing because it's so frickin futile and it's such a waste of time

not in general just for me. it's like we're all in a big maze and it might take a while and a lot of twists and turns but eventually it's possible to reach the end except my route was drawn wrong and i can only reach dead ends

for someone who's in a pretty privileged place -- i mean, like, my school is pretty much fine with lgbt people so far as i can tell, and if i ask people to call me matt they do so no problem -- i have pretty few opportunities. most of it is just stuff that i have no way of changing. we've gotten into a real bind lately financially speaking ... mom just got a link card, which is what they give to people who receive financial help/food stamps in illinois, and a while ago my dad stopped paying maintenance and the lawyer has *yet* to do anything about it (there was going to be a court date yesterday but they cancelled it). i don't have a summer job or anything and school stuff is always expensive, so i've never felt comfortable buying much of anything for myself, especially not things upwards of 30 dollars like binders and packers and the like. and like hell i'd ever be able to pay for hormones -- god i don't even like to think about how much therapy sessions cost, especially seeing as i generally waffle and don't tell her anything of import, hypocritical of me -- and i don't think i'd be able to talk to my mom about this let alone ask outright for something expensive that isn't absolutely necessary. i mean ... i only even own a binder because someone gave it to me as a birthday gift, but it doesn't even do much of anything. just kind of makes me more aware of what's wrong

before the summer started mom kept hinting that she was gonna try and get my name changed this summer, but. it all kinda went down the toilet. and it feels so fucking stupid because clover even went through all this effort to hepl me get it done but the lawyer is kind of an ass and she was so busy trying to say that my mom hadn't given her documents that we'd given her twice over that we couldn't even bring this up. money for living is kind of more important than a name change after all. i'm not even saying that like sarcastically or whatever, it really is.

and all that aside, too, i'm not exactly the most passable guy. i'm 5'3 with an eleven inch difference between my hips and waist and an hourglass figure. i've been asked twice this year if i was in seventh or eighth grade. i have a high pitched voice that goes higher when i'm excited. the last time i was gendered as male by a stranger was a few years ago. i have friends who accept me and use the right pronouns and everything, and that's fantastic, but it's not the same, i don't know, the whole immersion thing, the whole point of presenting male is just not there. cisgirls talk about being referred to as male more often than has happened to me. and i don't get it what am i doing wrong i have short hair i wear typically male clothes i even literally make a point of walking and acting 'male' why the hell doesn't this mystical concept of maleness apply to me

and sometimes i get to thinking about how even if i can change parts of me, even if i can lower my voice and get rid of my breasts, i'll never be able to get taller or even out my hips or waist or make my legs thinner so i can wear normal fucking pants. i know a guy who describes it as a loss that i have hips so well intended for birthing and yet no interest in children. what am i supposed to do, shave the bones down at the edges? if only. i can't change genetics.

i'm not trying for sympathy i'm not trying to be like oh i have it worse because that's bullshit i just. feel like i'm up against a wall and i don't know what the fuck to do. what the fuck i even *can* do

god i'm sorry that got... really long. egh. probably better for a stupid complaint thread than here anyway. sorry
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I really didn't know how to respond to this post as I'm generally not good with these sorts of things, but I really hated to see this go ignored. I really hope you're feeling better, that sounds like a stressful situation.

Just want to add that hormones do affect hips a lot more than you think. I don't actually know any trans guys on T who have wide hips.
 
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Worst Username Ever said:
So, lately I've been thinking about my sexuality and realized I'm asexual! Well, I've been suspecting it for a while now but wasn't completely sure (pretty much since I learnt about asexuality a few years ago), but it wasn't until earlier this year that I realized that yeah, this is actually how I feel, it hasn't changed during these years, this is me. So well, it feels nice to finally have figured it out!
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Viki said:
Go team ace!
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Oh, yeah, fist bump! *holds fist in air*

Silly stuff aside, that's great. :)
 
What happens when you have a sex drive but aren't emotionally attracted to anyone the sexual way? Is it considered asexual or just aromantic or nothing?

Also if I want to be the opposite gender if I could choose but recognise myself as my gender and have no intention to have a sex change operation am I cisgender?
 
yiran said:
What happens when you have a sex drive but aren't emotionally attracted to anyone the sexual way? Is it considered asexual or just aromantic or nothing?
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That's considered aromantic *insertsexualattractionhere*sexual.
 
yiran said:
What happens when you have a sex drive but aren't emotionally attracted to anyone the sexual way? Is it considered asexual or just aromantic or nothing?

Also if I want to be the opposite gender if I could choose but recognise myself as my gender and have no intention to have a sex change operation am I cisgender?
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aromantic I guess
and yes, cis
 
yiran said:
Also if I want to be the opposite gender if I could choose but recognise myself as my gender and have no intention to have a sex change operation am I cisgender?
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Okay slow down there's some problematic language here that needs to be corrected so we're all on the same page.

  1. Being trans* is not necessarily a simple desire to be a different gender. In nearly every case, it's an innate feeling that you already are that gender.
  2. Also, there are more than two genders. Everyone knows what you mean when you say "opposite gender", but it's important to note that it erases the experiences of all of us who are neither a boy or a girl.
  3. When you say you "recognise [your]self as [your] gender", you mean the one you were designated at birth, right? 'Cause lots of people, trans* and cis alike, recognize thier genders.
  4. Having sex reassignment surgery is not the only thing necessary when one transitions from one social gender to another. The whole process is known as transitioning, and can be a hodgepodge of many different things including but not limited to hormone therapy, surgery, dressing more closely to your target gender, and telling everyone you know what you're doing and why.
  5. Not everyone who is trans* desires medical transition. Not everyone who is trans* even desires social transition. People in the second group have cis-passing privilege up the wazoo, but they are not cis.
  6. Nobody can tell you what you are, but from the sounds of it, you're probably cis and just like fantasizing about being another sex/gender. Nothing wrong with that.
 
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I've also been doing a bit of reflecting myself, and have come to the conclusion that I must be heteroromantic asexual. Possibly demisexual. I find it to be a bit confusing. All I know for certain is that I am somewhere in the grey area between heterosexual and asexual.
 
Dinru said:
Okay slow down there's some problematic language here that needs to be corrected so we're all on the same page.

  1. Being trans* is not necessarily a simple desire to be a different gender. In nearly every case, it's an innate feeling that you already are that gender.
  2. Also, there are more than two genders. Everyone knows what you mean when you say "opposite gender", but it's important to note that it erases the experiences of all of us who are neither a boy or a girl.
  3. When you say you "recognise [your]self as [your] gender", you mean the one you were designated at birth, right? 'Cause lots of people, trans* and cis alike, recognize thier genders.
  4. Having sex reassignment surgery is not the only thing necessary when one transitions from one social gender to another. The whole process is known as transitioning, and can be a hodgepodge of many different things including but not limited to hormone therapy, surgery, dressing more closely to your target gender, and telling everyone you know what you're doing and why.
  5. Not everyone who is trans* desires medical transition. Not everyone who is trans* even desires social transition. People in the second group have cis-passing privilege up the wazoo, but they are not cis.
  6. Nobody can tell you what you are, but from the sounds of it, you're probably cis and just like fantasizing about being another sex/gender. Nothing wrong with that.
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if you have no desire to transition (note: different from not being able to), you're not trans. if you are fine with seeing yourself as your birth sex, you are not trans.
 
Pathos said:
The fact that their gender =/= assigned gender at birth?
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"i'm male but i'm totes ok with having boobs and a vagina and i won't change any of it"
makes all the sense.

i don't want to clog this thread is there somewhere else we can move this to
 
Rainbow Dashie said:
this is probably the most awful video I've ever seen
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Urrrrrgrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhrhrhrhrhhr

nice to see though that at least the dislike bar is where it should be at
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Thank god that this generation of young people understand LGBT rights (well, most young people). It is my hope that in a hundred years the new generation will act in disgust and shock when they learned that a gay couple could not get married back then, like how much of the young generation today act in disgust when they learned that black/African American people could not vote in the mid 1960's.
 
Whelp, I am attempting to get a club set up for LGBT+ folks over at Ever Grande City. Hopefully it goes through.

*crosses fingers*
 
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