The QUILTBAG Club (formerly the LGBT club)

[Wargle]

I failed fourth Grade and had to retake it.

 

[Elliekat]

So I think I'm definitely still figuring myself out; I know for sure that I'm asexual, but where I said before that I'm hetero-romantic I'm still unsure about. I thought I was definitely hetero-romantic, but now I can't stop thinking about one of my best friends. Every time I see her I always think about how pretty she is, and I sometimes feel like I want to kiss her, but I'm pretty sure she's completely straight, and I thought I was too (at least romantically) until now and agh why does all of this have to crop up now it's so freaking confusing ahhhhhh

 

[Flora]

Every time I see her I always think about how pretty she is, and I sometimes feel like I want to kiss her, but I'm pretty sure she's completely straight, and I thought I was too (at least romantically) until now and agh why does all of this have to crop up now it's so freaking confusing ahhhhhh

Oh, honey, that situation sucks. Been there, done that, still doing that. (Hell, I think I realized I liked her when I heard her singing. Everytime she sings I get this weird feeling and it didn't exactly help that she was the freaking Fairy Godmother.) It's even worse when both of you have boyfriends :(

 

[Harlequin]

Are you quite sure you're asexual if you think she's pretty and you want to kiss her? I mean, I'm by no means an expert on asexuality (in fact I find it completely incomprehensible and I don't get it at all) but I'd think that if you think she's pretty and you want to kiss her, it might be prudent to re-evaluate your sexual inclinations.

'Cause, like, kissing and prettiness are usually things sexual people think about their potential lovers. IDK.

 

[shy ♡]

Are you quite sure you're asexual if you think she's pretty and you want to kiss her? I mean, I'm by no means an expert on asexuality (in fact I find it completely incomprehensible and I don't get it at all) but I'd think that if you think she's pretty and you want to kiss her, it might be prudent to re-evaluate your sexual inclinations.

'Cause, like, kissing and prettiness are usually things sexual people think about their potential lovers. IDK.

I don't claim to understand it, but I do know several aces who enjoy kissing but don't want sex. They sort of disconnect the two. Again I don't feel it myself so I can't explain it better, but the thing is basically they don't want sex but enjoy kissing.

 

[Diz]

I don't claim to understand it, but I do know several aces who enjoy kissing but don't want sex. They sort of disconnect the two. Again I don't feel it myself so I can't explain it better, but the thing is basically they don't want sex but enjoy kissing.

Yeah, because aces aren't into the physical aspect of any relationship, so no sex, but kissing is more romantic than physical.

Or maybe I have no idea what I'm talking about.

 

[Harlequin]

I don't claim to understand it, but I do know several aces who enjoy kissing but don't want sex. They sort of disconnect the two. Again I don't feel it myself so I can't explain it better, but the thing is basically they don't want sex but enjoy kissing.

Yeah, because aces aren't into the physical aspect of any relationship, so no sex, but kissing is more romantic than physical.

Or maybe I have no idea what I'm talking about.

I guess, but like, I've always associated kissing as something that yes, it might be romantic, but it's also sexual. I mean. I'm not talking about a chaste peck on the cheek here. It's like, sex can be romantic, too. Where's the line?

Maybe it's just that I don't get asexuality, being a sexual being myself, but I've always seen kissing (again, not like a peck on the cheek kissing) as sexual as well as romantic.

 

[Elliekat]

Yeah, I've always seen kissing as not a sexual thing, unless you're doing it in an extremely sexual way, which I wouldn't want. There's kind of a fine line in my mentality that's kinda hard to explain XD But I would kiss someone, but once it crossed that line I would start getting uncomfortable.

Sorry if I don't make any sense :<

 

[MentheLapin]

I have a question for you guys: is 14 too young to come out/be gay? Idk, I planned on telling the remainder of friends that I haven't tomorrow, but I was told that it'd be a bad idea. Opinions?

 

[Dinru]

14 is definitely not too young to be gay (despite what some people say) and therefore it's not too young to come out. If you feel comfortable with the idea, then as far as age goes, that shouldn't be a problem.

 

[...]

I have a question for you guys: is 14 too young to come out/be gay? Idk, I planned on telling the remainder of friends that I haven't tomorrow, but I was told that it'd be a bad idea. Opinions?

Not at all. Sexuality questioning can start as early as the onset of puberty, so 14 is definitely not too young. Too young would be like 9 or 10. I'd say the worst thing in this idea is that you may or may not come out to someone who you'd eventually regret coming out to. But that's your decision to decide who's worth coming out to.

 

[opaltiger]

I believe sexuality is fluid throughout the teenage years, and therefore it is very silly to label yourself as anything until you've well and truly got through puberty. I also think it's very silly to label yourself as anything afterwards, but that's a different matter.

 

[Harlequin]

You can come out whenever you like, but most people will probably think "haha, yeah right, it's just a phase" until you reach the end of puberty. It's a bit of a double standard there really, since a child of eight or nine years old who expresses heterosexual desire never gets the "it's just a phase" treatment, but it is what it is.

If you like boys/girls and you know you like boys/girls then ... you know you like boys/girls. I knew when I was around twelve or thirteen, but I was prevented from fully accepting it for quite some time after. If you've done so then more's the power to you, really.

 

[Crazy Linoone]

I know this is really old and off topic but

I read about a vaguely similar study (measuring erections in men and lubrication in women) showing people of different genders and sexualities images of 1) a heterosexual couple having sex, 2) a lesbian couple having sex, 3) a gay male couple having sex, 4) a naked woman walking on a beach, 5) a naked man walking on a beach, and 6) chimpanzees having sex. If I remember correctly, men roughly followed the rule that they were aroused if it involved someone they were attracted to; women, on the other hand, were generally aroused by the sexual images in general (even if they involved chimpanzees or only people they weren't attracted to) and not by the non-sexual naked people walking on a beach regardless of whether they were attracted to them or not.

I wouldn't exactly interpret that as women tending more towards bisexual, unless you also wanted to say women tend more towards bestiality. It's just that the brain's 'let's get aroused now' rule of thumb involves 'there is sex going on' more than 'there are naked women/men'.

Is this what you're talking about?

 

[Butterfree]

No, that sounds... completely different. o.O All they have in common as far as I can tell is being studies involving women and sex.

 

[Michi]

I have a question for you guys: is 14 too young to come out/be gay? Idk, I planned on telling the remainder of friends that I haven't tomorrow, but I was told that it'd be a bad idea. Opinions?

Nope - I'm 14, I'm out to all my friends but I don't like them to make it a big deal publicly - most people other than them don't know.

Anyway, my school today started a "Gay-Straight Alliance" which anyone can join if they are "sick of homophobia and discrimination."
While I see the point of this, I think the "Alliance" is actually counter-productive and will just get more people physically harmed over they're orientation, or in some cases their supposed orientaton. Everyone who joins will automatically be labeled gay by all the junior and senior guys, the same guys who'll be beating the members up.
What NEEDS to be done is that a zero-tolerance bullying policy (for QUILTBAG, race, gender, and all other purposes) should be imposed.

 

[Eloi]

Nope - I'm 14, I'm out to all my friends but I don't like them to make it a big deal publicly - most people other than them don't know.

Anyway, my school today started a "Gay-Straight Alliance" which anyone can join if they are "sick of homophobia and discrimination."
While I see the point of this, I think the "Alliance" is actually counter-productive and will just get more people physically harmed over they're orientation, or in some cases their supposed orientaton. Everyone who joins will automatically be labeled gay by all the junior and senior guys, the same guys who'll be beating the members up.
What NEEDS to be done is that a zero-tolerance bullying policy (for QUILTBAG, race, gender, and all other purposes) should be imposed.

I agree with those measures. You have my uh...vote?

 

[surskitty]

Zero-tolerance bullying policies unfortunately rarely work.

I think the GSA at my high school was fairly successful? As far as I know, no one was bullied over it or anything. And there was something approaching a safe space. Just make sure you've got at least one teacher on your side who'll intervene if anything happens.

 

[JackPK]

Anyway, my school today started a "Gay-Straight Alliance" which anyone can join if they are "sick of homophobia and discrimination."
While I see the point of this, I think the "Alliance" is actually counter-productive and will just get more people physically harmed over they're orientation, or in some cases their supposed orientaton. Everyone who joins will automatically be labeled gay by all the junior and senior guys, the same guys who'll be beating the members up.
What NEEDS to be done is that a zero-tolerance bullying policy (for QUILTBAG, race, gender, and all other purposes) should be imposed.

I agree with you on the zero-tolerance bullying policy, but you're looking at the GSA in too much of the short term. Ultimately what a GSA is supposed to do is make out-of-the-closet gays in schools gradually more accepted, "normal", etc... essentially remove them as bullying targets. My old high school, for instance, instated a GSA this year that's been giving student-taught seminars to teachers on how to deal properly with LGBT issues that arise in the classroom (bullying and such), and surprisingly (for Texas, at least) they've been sponsored by at least the principal and I think possibly the district as well.

 

[Elliekat]

Hmm, my school has a GSA. Not knowing too many other QUILTBAG people (maybe... three?) I'm not entirely sure if it's working or not. Once my mom got kind of mad that it existed at our school though, which made me a bit upset.