The QUILTBAG Club (formerly the LGBT club)

[Dannichu]

The Sun is reporting the news using its usual stellar journalism. Headline of another article on that page: "Wrong-sex lad dresses as lass". I don't even.

 

[Vladimir Putin's LJ]

The Sun is reporting the news using its usual stellar journalism. Headline of another article on that page: "Wrong-sex lad dresses as lass". I don't even.

Reading The Sun is like staring directly at its namesake. My eyes are bleeding.

I just think it's really weird that it's going to take until 2015 at the latest but I'm just really used to gay marriage being legal that I don't understand how generally decent countries (Britain, France, Germany) still don't have it. It's just. Portugal has it, you guys. You can get married in Portugal but not in France. What.

Thanks for your input on the name thing, guys :) I'm sorry I'm being so derpy but I'm a bit nervous about not having a set name yet. I actually went through a list of names and after a lot of deliberation I've narrowed it down to either Lars or Ivo. I'm leaning towards the former, but mum likes the latter more because it's got the same initial as my birth name.
Ultimately it's my choice, but I think it's fair to take her opinion into account since, well, she would have named me anyway if I'd come out right. Plus, Ivo works in Portuguese and Dutch while Lars... doesn't. Aaa.
My mother's actually being really cool about everything, it's a little weird. She just said she was a bit sad about the whole situation, but she only wants me to be happy. She also said she'll call me male pronouns and my male name in the future for sure, which is rather nice.

Also congratulations on coming to terms with your sexuality, Phantom :)!

 

[Michi]

And there was much rejoicing.

While this is, of course, a great thing, I don't know if everything coming from this is positive. See, I'm just paranoid that people will get so open and confident in their sexuality that ignorant homophobes will notice them more and will commit more hate crimes... Otherwise, I'm happy that those who wish to serve in the armed forces will no longer be discharged for their sexuality. I just hope that the consequences don't turn out to actually be worse in the rare case I mentioned above.
I'm just paranoid.

In personal news, I have been arguing with myself over whether I'm truly biromantic or exclusively attracted to guys. I haven't had any real feelings for a female in well over a year, so I'm inclined to believe that I'm not biromantic. And I'm scared as hell to identify as exclusively gay to even my closest friends, even though they all assume it anyway except when I deny it, and then they still think it afterwards. And I hate the word gay. But I still use it because it's shorter and easier.
Frustrationnnnnnn

 

[Phantom]

You just told us that you don't want to do the nasty with anyone, but you feel romantic feelings towards both genders.

That's a translation, as for if it's correct, that's something you have to tell us =)

Pretty much in a nutshell.

 

[Hiikaru]

You just told us that you don't want to do the nasty with anyone, but you feel romantic feelings towards both genders.

That's a translation, as for if it's correct, that's something you have to tell us =)

"Both genders" is incorrect. "Both" is a word that means "all, but there are only two," but there aren't really just two.

(And I kind of don't think there should be a number on it, anyway! Just because someone feels like they're not a boy or a girl doesn't make them genderless, and someone can feel like a mix of those, so definitely not two or three, even if it's numberable.)

Also Phantom, people who identify as bisexual or biromantic can define it pretty differently! Some people say it means "I like people who identify as a girl or as a guy, regardless of body," some people say "I like people who have only male or only female parts, regardless of identification," and then other people say "I only like people who have only female parts and also identify as a girl, or people who have only male parts and also identify as a boy (only cisgendered people)." There's also a distinction between people who feel they have an active interest in each group covered by the label, and people who feel they are simply capable of having an interest. Also, some people say any of those three but don't really think about that there are more than two genders, or about that some people have changed how they are physically from how they were at birth. Or they have thought about it, but identify that way anyway because they've never met someone outside of those categories. Just something to think about! (and also another reason why labels are really silly)

In personal news, I have been arguing with myself over whether I'm truly biromantic or exclusively attracted to guys. I haven't had any real feelings for a female in well over a year, so I'm inclined to believe that I'm not biromantic. And I'm scared as hell to identify as exclusively gay to even my closest friends, even though they all assume it anyway except when I deny it, and then they still think it afterwards. And I hate the word gay. But I still use it because it's shorter and easier.
Frustrationnnnnnn

Does it really matter if you haven't had feelings for anyone with a female body for a while? It doesn't necessarily mean that you can't, or that you won't - people can have feelings for no one at all for years and years and then suddenly have feelings for someone! It isn't really a big deal whether or not you're capable of liking female people, is it? It's just kind of a prediction, so it's okay to take a while to decide on a label, or to not have or never decide on one at all. Or even for the label to change! Any of those is okay, so you should probably try not to worry about it so much.

Too, it isn't very fun if you don't like a word you're sticking to yourself. Maybe you could refer to yourself as homosexual and/or homoromantic, or just say the kind of people you're interested in without attaching a label to it? "Shorter and easier" kind of doesn't seem worth it if you don't like it!

(Also, you're mixing up terminology a bit here. You're saying you think you like guys (who may or may not be male) but that you don't think you like female people (who may or may not be girls). "Guy" or "girl" is something you can feel like. "Male" or "female" is based on your parts and genetics. So you're saying "I think I like people who identify as guys, but not people with female parts," which is probably not what you're trying to say. Tons of people mix that up, but you should probably try to not, because the mix-up can make others uncomfortable!)

 

[Michi]

Does it really matter if you haven't had feelings for anyone with a female body for a while? It doesn't necessarily mean that you can't, or that you won't - people can have feelings for no one at all for years and years and then suddenly have feelings for someone! It isn't really a big deal whether or not you're capable of liking female people, is it? It's just kind of a prediction, so it's okay to take a while to decide on a label, or to not have or never decide on one at all. Or even for the label to change! Any of those is okay, so you should probably try not to worry about it so much.

Too, it isn't very fun if you don't like a word you're sticking to yourself. Maybe you could refer to yourself as homosexual and/or homoromantic, or just say the kind of people you're interested in without attaching a label to it? "Shorter and easier" kind of doesn't seem worth it if you don't like it!

See, it really does bug me because I hate all the complications. It's difficult enough to have any attraction to any gender or sex other than the traditional opposite (girls/females in my case) thanks to society, let alone be attracted to mostly or completely the same gender and/or sex. To have the complication of having previously had feelings for females gives me the false sliver of hope that I might not be entirely homosexual/romantic, which I now know to be wrong. And i say hope because Ive always been extremely scared of possible bullying or even worse, and Id quite like to not have this happen at all. Thankfully all the people who know are quite comfortable with everything! I've been dong some thinking lately and I think I've come to terms with everything, and thank you for your help. I do like the ease of a simple label for myself when one applies, and Ive decided that one does apply. Of course, I'll always worry about homophobes and the like anyway, that's the only thing I can't quite come to terms with.

(Also, you're mixing up terminology a bit here. You're saying you think you like guys (who may or may not be male) but that you don't think you like female people (who may or may not be girls). "Guy" or "girl" is something you can feel like. "Male" or "female" is based on your parts and genetics. So you're saying "I think I like people who identify as guys, but not people with female parts," which is probably not what you're trying to say. Tons of people mix that up, but you should probably try to not, because the mix-up can make others uncomfortable!)

See, this is a can or worms I usually avoid like the plague. :/ Specifically, the only people I have been attracted to in the past 3 years are biologically male and identify with male pronouns and all that. I'm not ruling any other people out as possible objects of future attraction in any way and I really hope everyone realizes that. ._. I am trying not to offend anyone right now. And I'm overreacting because I think people will understand what I'm trying to say here.

For anyone who hasn't heard yet, Jamey Rodemeyer (I believe my spelling is accurate there), a 14 year old male, committed suicide recently due to bullying over his orientation.
He was an avid Lady GaGa fan, and being a Little Monster myself I heard about his death relatively quickly. Multiple celebrities have commented about this, including Gaga herself. Shes spoken to President Obama about bullying and is calling for a law of some sort to prevent bullying, saying all bullying is a hate crime.

 

[Skyman]

Um, hello everybody.

I'm signing up(or joining, or whatever) as bisexual biromantic. I've only recent realized(for lack of a better word) this, so I'm still kinda confused about everything.

 

[Phantom]

^Hi

Waiit, isn't bisexual biromantic contradictory? Confuzed.

 

[Skyman]

^Hi

Waiit, isn't bisexual biromantic contradictory? Confuzed.

No, it's not(from what I know), since they define two different things-namely, sexual attraction for bisexual, and romantic attraction for biromantic. They both mean that I'm attracted to either gender for either thing.

 

[Phantom]

Ok, that works. Less confusion now. :3

 

[Dinru]

traditional opposite [gender]

Just quoting to say that I think this is the best way to define what's commonly known as "opposite gender". I've been looking for a good way to say that for a while. Thanks.

 

[Byrus]

So, random question: does anyone know of any decent book/comic/movie featuring transsexual characters? Preferably one where they aren't raped, killed or generally treated like shit (like max in the L word).

It's funny, I've never really cared much about trans exposure in the media, in fact I've sort of preferred the low-profile, as I would give absolutely fucking anything to just be a cis man and not trans. I don't feel like being trans is part of my identity and I don't want it to be; it's caused me nothing but grief and I have to go through lengthy and strenuous operations before I can even feel comfortable in my own skin. But I was reading "Y the last man", (which is a comic about a plague that wiped out all males of the human race except one) and I just couldn't enjoy it at all, because I kept thinking "this would be a seriously good opportunity to introduce an ftm character", but no dice obviously. I was expecting that, but then they bring in a drag king and.... ugh. The way it was handled was fucking horrible. That's literally the only mention that a female bodied male identified person gets in the whole fucking comic (and it's treated as a joke), despite the good opportunity to explore the issue.

I normally prefer reading stuff with (cis) male protagonists because I feel I can identify with them the most, but I think this is the first time where I've felt exasperated about their prominence.

Sorry for the mini-rant, I don't really know why this comic in particular pissed me off so much. Generally I only get this way over stuff that plays gender bending for laughs (which I avoid like the plague.) Also fuck, this post is probably badly written sorry, I just wanted to vent. I'm going to go back to reading Alien comics now.

 

[shy ♡]

There's this wiki article. I recommend Transamerica and Degrassi; Degrassi isn't an excellent-quality show so I really just watched the episodes with Adam in them, but it's the best portrayal of a trans character I've ever seen in a tv show or... anywhere, really.

 

[Byrus]

There's this wiki article. I recommend Transamerica and Degrassi; Degrassi isn't an excellent-quality show so I really just watched the episodes with Adam in them, but it's the best portrayal of a trans character I've ever seen in a tv show or... anywhere, really.

Ah thanks, that probably should have been the obvious place to start, but I was just feeling a bit hyped up. I don't know what's wrong with me tonight, urgh.

 

[Light]

Has anyone else associated the face cards with sexualities?

Jack - jack of all trades
Queen - mascuromantic
King - femiromantic
The obvious one: Ace - trumps 'em all

I think this is potentially cool.

 

[Valerunner]

Just wanted to post here for advice, and probably because I liked reliving it.

Okay, so as said in the Laughing Cupboard, I went out en femme, with fishnets, heels and a leotard to a University social and got neutral to a good response. One guy even wanted to take me to his flat "to show me off to his flatmates". Kept telling me I reminded him of this girl he met at the London Expo. Huh. I also got honked at, and apparently, I had impressive legs.

So now I enjoyed all the attention, not to mention I actually felt more "me", but at the same time tonight I went out as normal, did a karaoke night thing at the union and still felt "me", but like a different me. It's like DPD, but just for gender.

Plus, I found out my bunkmate's an open homophobe.

So the question lies; where the hell do I stand now? I want to delve deeper into my girlmode after that spectacle, but at the same time I really don't want to go fulltime as female. And also how do I deal with my bunkmate? He still doesn't know, but he questioned, no interrogated me about being gay when I told him about the night.

 

[Ether's Bane]

:(

 

[Zero Moment]

Just wanted to post here for advice, and probably because I liked reliving it.

Okay, so as said in the Laughing Cupboard, I went out en femme, with fishnets, heels and a leotard to a University social and got neutral to a good response. One guy even wanted to take me to his flat "to show me off to his flatmates". Kept telling me I reminded him of this girl he met at the London Expo. Huh. I also got honked at, and apparently, I had impressive legs.

So now I enjoyed all the attention, not to mention I actually felt more "me", but at the same time tonight I went out as normal, did a karaoke night thing at the union and still felt "me", but like a different me. It's like DPD, but just for gender.

Plus, I found out my bunkmate's an open homophobe.

So the question lies; where the hell do I stand now? I want to delve deeper into my girlmode after that spectacle, but at the same time I really don't want to go fulltime as female. And also how do I deal with my bunkmate? He still doesn't know, but he questioned, no interrogated me about being gay when I told him about the night.

Can you ask for a different roomate or something?

 

[Valerunner]

Not really; we're in a student village and bunk beds are rare.

 

[Ether's Bane]

:(

Not to be pushy or rude, but why does it seem like no one on this forum cares about this?